Do you punch your board? Or is it a kink only for pro surfers?
Two days ago, the perennial almost-WCT surfer Mitch Coleborn posted an Instagram clip where he brought a muscular arm back and slammed his surfboard.
The blow, if there was audio attached, would’ve made a hollow crunching sound and, perhaps, a spatter of fibreglass shards would’ve dotted Mitch’s shirt front.
Board punching.
Are you a board puncher?
Kolohe Andino is. One of many clips below.
I don’t think I’ve ever punched my surfboard. They are too expensive and, mostly, too precious an object to purposefully destroy. I would imagine taking the surfboard to the ding repair man who would look mournfully at the damage and tell me it would cost one hundred dollars to fix.
Pro surfers, of course, are very different. Their pay cheque depends upon results and, therefore, a surfboard that fails to perform at the exacting standard required might become a “motherfucker” or a “bastard” or “cunt.”
The question today is: are you a board puncher? Do you know any board punchers?
Or is its a pro surfer thing only?
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I want to watch pros that stoke me out, transmit joy and make me want to surf. I see enough pissed off assholes throwing baby fits when driving so I want the ocean to be an escape.
Spoilt fuckwits.
A bad craftsman blames his tools.
I wonder what the various board sponsors think of this public dissing of their craft. I’d say a quick “Fuck you too bitch” and give the offending prima donna the heave-ho. More up-n-coming fish in the QS sea…
Punch yourself in the face, kook.
Mitch showing good form, elbow is much harder to break than your hand. i’ve only done it once and my shaper did everything he could to convince me not to order a board 17.5″ wide with banana rocker for east coast surf back in the Shane Powell days. but no, its super faux.
He so sponsored! He should be punching that god damn shitty movie.
It’s all wuss garbage if you aren’t punching your deck mid-air like that Albee.
Board punching: a far less cool version of the ultimate self destructive art – guitar smashing.
they’re bummed they can’t focus a board like skaters get to do
When I was a grom in Cbad this one kid Pat Moss used to yell “F*CK!!!” and the punch his brand new David Barr board after he would fall (I once overheard heard him blame it on wax). I think he was sponsored by the Off Shore surf shop and State Beach Locals too.
Whenever I see this, I activate a wonderful machine, which converts the rage inflicted upon a board into a fraction of skill in proportion to the rage, such that the bigger the hole the greater the skill. The machine also transmits the fractional skill directly to me, to the detriment of the inflictor. To wit: when K-loe fails and punches, I get a portion of the maneuver he attempted, to be stored up for later usage, and he loses the ability to ever perform the maneuver at more than 7/8ths, if, say, he punched the board with such rage to convert 1/8th of the total skill. The proof that this machine exists is Freddy P’s total failure in the same year he rocked his board at Snapper and a concurrent increase in my perception of my own abilities.
when you spend all your money on a new board and it sux. punch the fuck out it untie your leash and let it float away.
You don’t punch your own board. You punch other people’s boards.
Maybe he is just practicing for shark attacks, or he is doing too much MMA and cant get it out of his system??
Board punching is as cool as sitting on cucumbers dipped in crisco.
Yeah theres a bloke out maroubra we refer to as board puncher because he once blasted a fucking crater in some dude’s board who dropped in on him on a 2ft mushburger
Only pros break their boards, the rest of us have to actually pay for them.
My expectations on my performance are so low that I am only ever driven to kiss my board whenever I achieve anything resembling success.
this. forever.
Never punched a board but I’ve kicked the doors in on an uncooperative motor.
Oh what did it do to you?
so, so many painful and expensive indiscretions.
Fucking entitlement – no sympathy. Give it to a grom, for crying out loud.
It’s pathetic. No one gives a shit if Mitch Coleborn can’t land an air. Why is he so upset?
Who the frick is Mitch Coleburn? Sounds like a lumberjack or a plumber – nothing against those trades, just doesn’t sound like the silky names most surfers have, i.e., John John, kolohe, John Peck, Sunny, etc.
He rips. Absolutely.
Powerful surfer; I was just joking about Mitch; haven’t heard much about him lately- however, it does appear he has a pretty nasty close quarters elbow.
Coz it’s Tax Return season