Are you an accidental luddite like me? Oh how
technology gets me all hot under the collar. Almost
Ashton Goggans level hot under the
collar. It drives me crazy when my phone/computer
don’t intuit exactly what I need and respond instantly. I know it
is silly. I know it is all my fault, my non-binary brain stuck in a
bourbon bog, but I still blame the tech and internally threaten to
burn Silicon Valley to the ground.
But did you know that technology does good things? Even
technology that is essentially annoying like drones?
It’s true! And should we turn our eyes to the New York
Post?
The world’s first water rescue-by-drone happened Thursday in
Australia, when a machine saved the lives of two teenage boys
caught in dangerous surf off the eastern coast of the continent,
reports said.
The new drone — called the Little Ripper — dropped an
inflatable rescue pod to the boys, allowing them to make it to
shore three times faster than a normal rescue, the BBC
reported.
“It took only 70 seconds from when the Little Ripper drone
was launched to when it dropped the pod into the ocean for the
rescue, a task that would usually take a lifeguard up to six
minutes to complete,” Ben Franklin, Parliamentary Secretary for
Northern New South Wales, told The Sydney Morning Herald.
The Little Ripper… I don’t know that I’ve ever read a better
name for anything.
And let us go back to the Great Jaws Debate of ’18. Remember
that Albee Layer pointed out the dangers of water safety when all
the skis have photographers and are trying to get clips instead of
rescuing drowning surfers?
Well wouldn’t the Little Ripper instantaneously solve this
problem?
Well?
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Fashion: Puka shells are back!
By Chas Smith
And Teva-like sandals!
You are, no doubt, a student of surf culture
and all its various intricacies. You know the ebbs and the flows.
That sometimes quads are very in and sometimes thrusters are very
in and every once in a while twinnies are kind of in. But did you
know the ebbs and flows apply to surf fashion as well? Did you know
that late-1990s surf trends like puka shell necklaces and canvas
sandals, which washed out to sea more than a decade ago, are back
in?
It’s true!
The famed French fashion house Louis Vuitton is pouring its
resources into a surf-themed roadshow and let’s read a little
from Condé Nast.
For Louis Vuitton’s Spring/Summer 2018 collection, menswear
artistic director Kim Jones looked to the beach for inspiration,
putting together a tropical surf- and skate-culture-inspired line
of gauzy floral print shirts, denim bucket hats, pukka shell
necklaces, and Teva-esque sandals. What better way to celebrate the
launch, then, than to pack it all into a VW van—the ultimate
symbol of a life spent chasing the next set of waves—and hit
the road?
The retro-style van, complete with a floral paint job and an
array of custom bumper stickers, will be popping up in front of
Louis Vuitton locations in the Miami Design District from January
10th-22nd, on Los Angeles’s Rodeo Drive from January 26th-February
5th, and at the Ala Moana shopping complex in Honolulu from
February 15th-22nd. In addition to a selection of runway favorites,
the van is stocked with technicolor Hawaiian shirts, special
editions of the brand’s signature monogram totes half-dipped in
cobalt blue, and surfboards emblazoned with an all-over
interlocking palm tree print—all of it exclusive to the
van.
Is the VW van really the ultimate symbol of a life spent chasing
the next set of waves? I always thought pterygiums were to be
honest but no matter and why are you still reading? Why aren’t you
out in your garage digging through old clothing boxes and getting
cool again?
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Jaws: The Ethics of Board Transfers!
By Chas Smith
Could a skimboard decapitate a man? What about a
Wavestorm?
The Jaws Sessions, as they have come to be
called, are reaching legendary status in our surf world. January
13th and 14th saw some of the biggest ever surf at Maui’s iconic
spot and the lineup was filmed with all manner of surfer, towed
surfer, photographer, ski driver, etc. Albee Layer weighed wrote
about the madness and thrill on his Instagram account.
The water safety thing is ridiculous. The fact photographers
are willing to give more money for a photo than surfers for their
safety is ridiculous. We need to find a way to put surfers in
contact with water safety and maybe a gofundme site or something so
they can’t be bought out by photographers. There are a lot of great
water safety teams here, but after years of saving random people
for no reason it makes sense they would rather hang in the channel
making $600 cruising around with a photog. Lets work together to
fix this because it puts everyone in danger including those of us
who hire water safety. With a wall of skis trying to get the shot
waking up the inside and getting in the way.
It sure does sound very chaotic with many moving parts, people
things and you can watch this fine compilation from Surfer
magazine, paying special attention to the 2:40 mark.
And was that a transfer to skimboard? It most certainly was.
Firstly, I must say, whoever did is a very brave man.
Secondly, with board transfers being all the rage I am curious
as to the etiquette. You’ll notice his Wavestorm goes flying out
the back which is, I assume, the best possible scenario but what if
it accidentally catches the wave too? Is that bad form sending a
foam missile through the crowd? Are you supposed to have a
dedicated Wavestorm clean-up man who fetches it or are they single
use? Have you ever been hit in the face with a Wavestorm? Did it
hurt or did it feel like a pillow fight?
Also, you’ll notice the brave man becomes dislodged and his
little disc skitters away. Could a skimboard take a man’s head
off?
I’ll get to the bottom of these questions soon. In the meantime,
off to Davos.
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Surf media: The art of losing cool!
By Chas Smith
To hell with the high road!
It has been almost one week since
Stab’s new editor Ashton Goggans and I met in pastoral San
Clemente, California. There, you may recall, I completely lost my
cool and flew over the reclaimed wood coffee table betwixt us and
tried to silence the portly man by use of strangulation. Though I
haven’t carved out the time to listen yet (you can here!)
I imagine it sounds choked and ugly. Still, even after almost one
week of reflection, the only thing I would change is that I would
have gone over the table sooner and more often until that smug,
smarmy bastard either fled or fought.
I don’t like Ashton Goggans one little bit. His behavior during
his brief stint in surf media has been marked by two-faced
artificiality and self-serving stabs in the dark. To simply play
the game, as it were, of smiling and nodding while being subtly
underhanded and demeaning bores me to no end. I have purposed to
say what I feel even if what I feel is wrong.
Now, many if not most of the reviews of the podcast have been
unkind, focusing on how Ashton utilized my button pushing tactics
and how I was too thin-skinned to put up with the abuse. The
classic he-can-dish-it-but-can’t-take-it argument. All fine and
good except when have I ever been a proponent of taking it? I
nudge, poke, cajole and grenade throw from this tiny little soapbox
precisely to get a reaction. Some heartfelt scream that
can be employed, at the very least, in the cause of entertainment
and at the very most in making surf media great again. Real
opinions, real beliefs as opposed to snide, cool silence.
Keeping one’s cool, I think, is most important when dealing with
children or the mentally/physically compromised but has replaced
genuine communication, and real fun, in our surf world. To hell
with measured responses, I say. To hell with neatly worded yet
empty digs.
To hell with the high road.
And no, this speech is not cribbed from the great Martin Luther
King Jr. though I understand your confusion.
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What Youth: “Advertorials make our skin
crawl!”
By Derek Rielly
Newport surf media house holds cup out to readers
to fund surf movie!
Seven years ago or thereabouts, the creative
muscle behind Surfing magazine flew the coop and started
What Youth, a
print mag and online portal.
Recently, What Youth, who get their money from making
well-crafted, sponsor-funded online shorts, creating a gorgeous
office in Newport and providing salaries for half a dozen people
and so forth, held its cup out to the
readers.
“We need your help. We’re embarking on the first surf trip
for our new film. And that means we need some money,” the
magazine’s editor and co-founder Travis Ferré wrote on Kickstarter.
Wetsuits, signed photographs and a surfboard were offered to
benefactors.
With thirty four hours to go, $US5,500 had been pledged.
All that, the public cry for cash, for five gees?
Is What Youth, a cultural arbiter unlike any other
in surf, whose movies turned Chippa Wilson, Nate Tyler, Creed
McTaggart, Mitch Coleborn and Noa Deane into stars, on its knees
financially?
“This is honestly less about tough times, and more about wanting
to create good times,” says Travis, who is thirty five years old
but presents as someone more like twenty nine. “Crowd funding has
always been in the back of my mind as an interesting experiment…
I’ve also always thought our audience as a whole was more
participatory. And I love the idea of them being involved in
producing something with us. Something our style. Not just a reader
poll or something. Like, literally help us get somewhere.”
If you were to point a camera at Travis, right now, you’d find
him piloting a fifteen-seater Ford Econoline with two seats taken
out to fit in surfboards and cameras. The Australians Harry Bryant
and Mitch Coleborn are in the van, along with the Newport surfer
Colin Moran. They are somewhere on Interstate 5, between Los
Angeles and Santa Cruz.
“Just passed a slaughterhouse,” says Travis.
BeachGrit: Tell me everything about the movie, who,
where, how long, why?
Travis: At this stage, this trip is that first backfire as you
warm the car up for a long journey. We’ll see how this goes, log
some clips, set a mood and the rest will take shape after that. All
goes well, What Youth will have a full-length movie that
will come out before then end of the year. The response to this has
been overwhelmingly positive though, so I like the opportunities it
sets up. This was dialed in over a margarita the other night and by
the next day we went for it. So we’ll go nail this, hunt ramps and
see what happens next.
Is it a hipper version of Drive-Thru
California?
No, we’ll make something from this trip (maybe something of a
prequel) that may have that vibe I suppose, but we’re chasing a
bigger project and this will just be the first of many excursions
this year. Call this the pilot.
I see two sorts of surf media biz models, those who’ll
do any sort of advertorial for money no matter how demeaning (to
advertiser and website) and others, like you, and Warshaw too, who
don’t do anything by halves. What’s your
ethos re: advertorial? Would you, for instance, knock out a few
hundred words and a thirty-second half-assed short for five gees?
Would you generate a little fake news, say, ten best whatevers, at
five hundred a shot? Or does that make your skin
crawl?
Your examples above do make my skin crawl a bit, but I’ve found
ways that you can actually change “advertorial” to a far less
offensive word. More like a collaboration. Or partnership. We’re
more set in our ways of working to create valuable franchises like
“Fairly Normal”, “Afternoon Interviews”, What Youth short
films, and some new freesurfing based projects like What
Youth Parts that I think it will be a way to collaborate and
elevate surfers and their personalities alongside brands who
support them and us… It’s a long play, but we’re in this for the
long haul, not the quick buck, and hopefully we’ve established that
by now. We have a long history now of declined credit cards and
well-executed projects. So we’ll make it work one way or
another.
You can’t manufacture something like the act of surfing. Surfing
is about so much more than riding on a wave. And that sounds dumb
and cheesy, but it really is. I think we try to show that
mysterious magical part at What Youth — that strange
universe that surfing introduces us to that’s important.
Do you still make a print mag? If yes, is it long for
this world? Do you lose money with every issue?
Yeah, we still make a print mag. We actually gave the last one
away for free and it was gone in two hours. We don’t get rich off
making an expensive coffee table style magazine, and no, the
magazine is not exactly the future of media, but it’s also the
instigator of a lot of rad things we do. We love celebrating them
when they come out, it’s also a tangible thing that drives the
whole operation. I call it a wash financially, but it definitely
creates value for us, even if it’s not monetary.
We still make a print mag. We don’t get rich off making an
expensive coffee table style magazine, and no, the magazine is not
exactly the future of media, but it’s also the instigator of a lot
of rad things we do. It’s a wash financially.
You refused an invite to the Surf Ranch! Tell me why!
And did it hurt, even just a little?
There is no doubt in my mind riding that wave is “fun.” And
there is no doubt that there could be some insanely fun and rad
things we could (and hell, hopefully we will) do at that venue —
both on the wave and as an event space — but for me it still
represents the bottling up of something that should not and cannot
be bottled up. You can’t manufacture something like the act of
surfing. Surfing is about so much more than riding on a wave. And
that sounds dumb and cheesy, but it really is. I think we try to
show that mysterious magical part at What Youth — that
strange universe that surfing introduces us to that’s important.
The people, places and weird things I’ll never be able to explain
quite right are what it’s about. And being okay with that is okay
too.
Is it fun to have principles?
Absolutely not.
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Jon Pyzel and Matt Biolos by
@theneedforshutterspeed/Step Bros