Could a skimboard decapitate a man? What about a Wavestorm?
The Jaws Sessions, as they have come to be called, are reaching legendary status in our surf world. January 13th and 14th saw some of the biggest ever surf at Maui’s iconic spot and the lineup was filmed with all manner of surfer, towed surfer, photographer, ski driver, etc. Albee Layer weighed wrote about the madness and thrill on his Instagram account.
The water safety thing is ridiculous. The fact photographers are willing to give more money for a photo than surfers for their safety is ridiculous. We need to find a way to put surfers in contact with water safety and maybe a gofundme site or something so they can’t be bought out by photographers. There are a lot of great water safety teams here, but after years of saving random people for no reason it makes sense they would rather hang in the channel making $600 cruising around with a photog. Lets work together to fix this because it puts everyone in danger including those of us who hire water safety. With a wall of skis trying to get the shot waking up the inside and getting in the way.
It sure does sound very chaotic with many moving parts, people things and you can watch this fine compilation from Surfer magazine, paying special attention to the 2:40 mark.
And was that a transfer to skimboard? It most certainly was.
Firstly, I must say, whoever did is a very brave man.
Secondly, with board transfers being all the rage I am curious as to the etiquette. You’ll notice his Wavestorm goes flying out the back which is, I assume, the best possible scenario but what if it accidentally catches the wave too? Is that bad form sending a foam missile through the crowd? Are you supposed to have a dedicated Wavestorm clean-up man who fetches it or are they single use? Have you ever been hit in the face with a Wavestorm? Did it hurt or did it feel like a pillow fight?
Also, you’ll notice the brave man becomes dislodged and his little disc skitters away. Could a skimboard take a man’s head off?
I’ll get to the bottom of these questions soon. In the meantime, off to Davos.
Surfing has jumped the shark some years ago and Laird be damned if the actual moment wasn’t captured on some form of camera – most likely a nose mounted go pro.
That was a perfect Xtreme sports soundtrack dudes.
He surfs good but he is the master of annoying
Who the fuck pays that guy? I can’t imagine anybody with money getting behind him…
Unless he’s all hopped up on them Publix wings because he’s got a contract… That would make more sense than his schtick does.
He’s the Weird Al Yankovic of surfing.
I think I have just seen 1 too many skimboard clips, it has now jumped the shark for me. I’m from Myrtle Beach where people use skimboards how god intended: on wet sand with barely a sheen of water on it. They are usually overweight with tattoos, falling hard when they run out of water or just plain blow it. Now that’s fun to watch.
Try to go surf any wave in Hawaii when it is going off. A wavestorm is the least of your problems. It all the fucking kids, they are all surfing and shitting out more surfing kids. It’s done, forward to zuckerberg to build us our wavepools we deserve!!!!
Who wakes up in the morning and thinks to themselves that a board transfer at jaws on a skimboard is a good idea? I maybe a psychopath, but that’s just nuts!
Hey Chas – Nic Carroll has just posted his lates “improve your surfing” tips – six tips in his latest !
If he had some style it Might be tolerable
Is domke midget, I mean small person status? His legs seem abnormally tiny.
For some strange reason i suddenly feel the urge to purchase a slater designs gamma.
may I recommend an Exile skimboard instead? as you can see, Domke was drawing some pretty innovative lines on it and his arms drew lines even Slater can’t duplicate.
Those fucking arms!
Silky smooth. I’m inspired!
I clicked on the ad so that Derek and Chas earned a couple of cents. I hope they remember me when writing their wills. I loved the statement that while Kelly has worked with some of the world’s leading shapers, he has chosen to manufacture and market a design that he himself dreamed up on the CAD. He is heading for Lairdness.
Haaaa Lairdness. Sounds like a disease.
yes , he is a shaper now , but , rides other shapers proto types in contests, then takes the designs to Asia to make shit loads of money , what’s not loveabout a bloke maki a buck or 2!
Genius or Cuntsact?
geniarse!
Ha!
Ego maniac, big wave charging glory hounds only care about what they are doing, other peoples safety is of no concern.
No way. They totally care about others seeing them doing what they’re doing.
Also, off point but the ethics of beginner surfers in the lineup. They are fuckin out of control and entitled fuckers. There is only so much nice i have.
Yeah sometimes people just need to be told, really for their own good in the long run.
It’s out of control everywhere but Japan . I can’t believe the amount of beginners that are filling up the lineups , now near impossible to surf Bells unless you have a 10′ board.
They have no idea , when will licensing come in?
I’m not sure why they don’t know their place as almost all of them are adults that I see. They have zero commonsense, are ignorant of any surf etiquette and have bucket loads of entitlement. A dangerous combination. Licensing sounds good but how do you regulate it.
yeah it looks like 25-35 year olds who have just taken up surfing have no idea about etiquette , paddle out on mass , and wonder why they get abused and sent in , which is a fucked to surf in conditions where you are constantly on edge.
Imagine registering surfers thru clubs/asociations where anybody who wants to surf a mainstream break , has to be certified , what a business!
Uh-oh. The Aussie clubbies would luuuv that shit. Careful.
That’s definitely the worst demographic I find and European surfers seem to be the most entitled for some reason. I had one snake me recently and then of course fall off on the drop. I proceeded to explain to him what snaking was in a mellow way. He got the shits and tried to argue with me. Also, why do they even paddle for a wave when a clearly competent surfer is up and riding. Again, I told them and again they argued. Sometimes you just have to drop in..it’s fucked but will become more common i think.
The more I read accounts of this type of bullshit, the more I love the strictly enforced hierarchies where I surf.
So you met the guys as well who can’t surf for shit and then inform you
« The ocean is free and for everyone and you definitely do not know the true spirit of surfing « after dropping in on you for the 2nd time in 5 minutes at your local break .
Yeah surfing is so beautiful
My nightmare man was wearing budgy smugglers and a Gaf helmet on a 2ft day while riding a 9+ something over a treacherous sand bank made of sand ?
How do we get beginners like this to fuck off and go to wavepools?
I think it’s a lost cause. How do you explain rites of passage , respect of local elders and local talent to those who believe that they alone are the centre of the known universe
and always right.I had another discussion with another nightmare man who said the waves are for everyone so I replied then so is the car park and your car and your house and your wife . He replied no I paid for those and I replied I’d paid for the right to not be annoyed in the water here through years of time spent in the water. He didn’t get it .
I think they will eventually learn the hard way (angry local fist to face). Grom abuse definitely had it’s place growing up on the goldie.
I respect your point but in fairness you did not pay for the right to ride a wave by living in a certain locale. Certainly not in the same manner that said man paid for his house or car. Pretty sure he didnt pay for the lady either. Technically car-park is for everyone as i Imagine the local council or equivalent owns it.
Great 👍 news woof. We are all coming to your spot now . I’ll leave the car and house open knowing they will be safe .Could you please wear a fluoro green vest so we all know which bloke to snake and drop in on as we would like to respect the others in the line up and to protect them from our inappropriate behavior.
Through twenty years of suffering I earnt the right not to be annoyed . For the first 5 years as an immigrant in this town of 100 💯 i had to pay a beer 🍺 for every drop in , learn a new language , clean dishes scrub floors , mend broken hearts , save lives , translate from French into English and German, find accommodation , pick up trash , deal with hunters , fishermen, wild pigs , extreme heat , racism , extreme cold , alcohol, depression , etc so on this day 20 years down the track in a town of 100 💯 people in the middle of winter ❄️ 5 degrees water 8 degrees 4 of the 💯 out together enjoying a wonderful bank on a 120 km stretch of coast with the same banks nightmare man comes out and fucks it up for everyone . Did we drown him , did we threaten him , did we try to explain why we were not overly happy with his behavior . YES .We wanted to go Malcolm X but we tried Martin Luther King .
.
Did you make him pay you beers like you had to pay when you dropped in on someone before your so called turmoil?
You have the exact sense of entitlement that you hate in other people, ain’t that a bitch. Gotta love the human mind tho.
I paid beers to those who had invited me to come to surf at their town . The 10,000 hours you pay in time . Most of humanity is still paid by the hour . I am not jealous of those with a house or 6 like my family or those like me now with a car wife and kids .I have only ever dropped in without regret at 2 spots in the entire world and elsewhere have smiled and waited my turn at the end of the line . You can buy a house with a trust fund ,a car with an inheritance but to reach the pinnacle of the hierarchy in a surf town takes time spent in the water and on land . The shit days the big days the fucking howling onshore days when no fucker wants to go out endless flat spells too big swells shit banks close outs no banks oil spills injury suicides jelly fish and who is there at the end of the day to help anyone who lost there keys nearly drowns got there car bogged stolen fishing net tangled broke their leg knee arm not the guy who says YOU DONT KNOW THE TRUE SPIRIT OF SURFING .he gotta real proper liberal humanist life protecting private property
so you paid them beers after they were kind enough to invite you, then you dropped in on them?
Woof it wasn’t a 10 day boat trip. Over a period of 20 years accidents happen and when they did I paid my dues .End of subject.
ahh, yes i know this logic; a drop in is not a drop in, unless its a drop in.
seems like most of these new surfers , have absolutely no idea , and when you tune them they get aggro , which means we get aggro and then this whole , who’s a local , how long have you been surfing here , have you ever seen me before…blah blah…..I now have boards for crowded Kook sessions , where I don’t care if I ding them .
yesterday I ripped out a side fin , hitting a kook paddling out , because he froze……didn’t duck dive , and then I politely explain “WTF are you doing out here , you and your mates can’t even duck dive , FFS fuck off and go back to the beach breaks!”
Haaa how do you say that politely? I also politely told some guy to “get the fuck out of my way” the other day.
ha politely is relative , I usually give them one chance , and then call them out in the middle of everyone , which is,” FFS , how long have you surfed , why the fuck are you out here , and if you stay you will get hurt!”
How’s your eye?
better , but am on the warpath a bit in the surf , really 2mm more to the left and no eye!
we could only hope!
was it you ?
no, but the amount of times ive seen you mention it online makes me wish it was!
well why don’t you come and try tough guy , as its obvious you would like to me some harm , or hahahha….you are one of those trolls who lives out his fantasy’s of being a surfer!
And here we see the The Death of the Death of Kooks.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/…
No license yes regulate
I get a weird guilt when it’s big. Like I’m betraying my younger self because I’m not out there.
It’s 10’++ and pretty clean right now as anyone on the east coast of NSW can attest. I would never make it past the shore dump and certainly drown in minutes, but I still feel itchy seeing those huge walls going untrammelled.
Don’t you have some sweet little around the corner/in the harbor type spots that light up when it’s huge? Or is your coastline an unforgiving ruler demanding one measure one’s manhood or stay home?
There’s a harbour, but I’ve never done it yet. I’ve heard tales… luckily I’m working today or I’d be tempted.
My wife and kids would kill me if I drowned.
drowning is a bad idea, on the whole, yes
I can think of a few people etc etc
Not drowning, waving .
At least you’d die doing what you love, being held underwater until you lose consciousness 🙂
Well that’s more or less what my ‘surfing’ amounts to these days anyway. I should maybe start referring to myself as a ’waterboarder,’ (Waterboardee?)
To sleep , perchance to dream? Wonderful words when globe was a theatre and not yet a smelly skate shoe .
Live to fight another day .
Chas…please give a “wassup” to the Rothschilds, The Vatican and Colonel Sanders while you’re in Davos. Tell them the poors appreciate the global chaos. I, meanwhile, will be in SE Asia feasting on chicken rice, noodles and Tiger beer.
I’m not one to harp on this, but fuck, dude goes to the Alps when it’s swell after swell after swell in his back yard.
Is that the point perhaps?
And surf with the pools over hobnobbing with the riches in Davos? Priorities, my good man…priorities.
proles
Should have said “poors.” Goddamn auto correct!
I fucken hate novelty surfing. And novelty songs too, while I’m at it.
Like Magic. Fun for the magician but everyone else is pissed off.
How can those so skilled and brave behave like such kooks?
Mate, big wave riding isn’t about bravery, it’s about adrenalin.
Plus there are kooks inside all of us just itching to get out and run amok. Scenes like this are the ideal opportunity.
I must beg to differ, sir. I have robust adrenal glands, I just don’t have a working bravery gland.
bravery glands Nik Karol. And stop being modest we know yours are robust
might have to do a Gonad test , there’s a guy over here now offering free tests , strange name though Spaced Kevin!
Oh I know mine are quite small. Have you used his services yet? Just to confirm?
I think he might be doing a world “Grope the Gonads Tour,” still waiting for his visa for Australia….
Jesus. That looks more dangerous than Malibu on a head high south in August.
I still fail to see the point of the skimboard thing. It looks horrible and it’s completely unfunctional. And, also, who cares?
Tom Curren cares!
Of coarse he’s from Florida….
Probably all hopped up on Publix fried chicken.
With the inflatable vests it seemed like big wave surfing had lost its extreme quality! This has been remedied in an elegant manner by mayhem and chaos!
Yes the advent of the XXL Billabong biggest wave comp , sucked everybody in , as they too could be a hero , easy with a vest , Jet Ski water patrol , and of course your own photohog .
I f there were no photos or filming allowed , well there would be less , but even the great surfers that are complaining , are part of the problem!