Gets attention but for mostly for slightly awkward missteps and also marries odd men!
My goodness gracious me, this Martin Luther King Jr. weekend was alive with big wave spirit. All the social medias were pumping out photo after photo, video after video of men defying the odds. Conquering the sea. Jaws saw record wave heights, according to Albee Layer, but also featured wild crowding and minimal water safety. The Maui local took to Instagram after decrying the dangers associated with a fever pitch of popularity.
Pipeline was fabulous, Waimea looked classic and hosted Kelly Slater, island outer reefs hosted Nathan Florence but what about Maverick’s? Oh, everything was seeming almost perfect for the World Surf League to run its event but then winds went wrong and the swell wasn’t quite right and in the end nothing happened and the eyes of the globe danced to other corners.
Which made me wonder. If big waves are like the Kardashians which is who? I think:
Jaws = Kim Kardashian: Right? I mean, it is very hard to argue that Jaws is not the most photogenic and talked about big wave in the world right now. She gets all the attention and figures out new ways to stay relevant.
Waimea = Kris Jenner: The mama of all big waves. An ageless classic.
Teahupoo = Kourtney Kardashian: Quietly goes about its business from year to year without much change.
Nazaré = Scott Disick: Kourney Kardashian’s ex-husband (I think) manages to stay in the spotlight but many question if there’s any substance.
Punta de Lobos = Cassandra Marino: Only four people know that Cassandra is a Kardashian step-sister. Only three people know that Punta de Lobos, in Chilé, is a big wave.
Todos Santos = Rob Kardashian: Remember Todos Santos? It used to get lots of covers etc. but then everyone forgot it was a big wave and stopped paying attention.
Pipeline = Caitlyn Jenner: Not generally considered a big wave but so famous it can choose whatever it wants to be.
Maverick’s = Khloé Kardashian: Gets attention but for mostly for slightly awkward missteps and also marries odd men.
Shipsterns = Kanye West: Very strange.