Gets attention but for mostly for slightly awkward missteps and also marries odd men!
My goodness gracious me, this Martin Luther King Jr. weekend was alive with big wave spirit. All the social medias were pumping out photo after photo, video after video of men defying the odds. Conquering the sea. Jaws saw record wave heights, according to Albee Layer, but also featured wild crowding and minimal water safety. The Maui local took to Instagram after decrying the dangers associated with a fever pitch of popularity.
Pipeline was fabulous, Waimea looked classic and hosted Kelly Slater, island outer reefs hosted Nathan Florence but what about Maverick’s? Oh, everything was seeming almost perfect for the World Surf League to run its event but then winds went wrong and the swell wasn’t quite right and in the end nothing happened and the eyes of the globe danced to other corners.
Which made me wonder. If big waves are like the Kardashians which is who? I think:
Jaws = Kim Kardashian: Right? I mean, it is very hard to argue that Jaws is not the most photogenic and talked about big wave in the world right now. She gets all the attention and figures out new ways to stay relevant.
Waimea = Kris Jenner: The mama of all big waves. An ageless classic.
Teahupoo = Kourtney Kardashian: Quietly goes about its business from year to year without much change.
Nazaré = Scott Disick: Kourney Kardashian’s ex-husband (I think) manages to stay in the spotlight but many question if there’s any substance.
Punta de Lobos = Cassandra Marino: Only four people know that Cassandra is a Kardashian step-sister. Only three people know that Punta de Lobos, in Chilé, is a big wave.
Todos Santos = Rob Kardashian: Remember Todos Santos? It used to get lots of covers etc. but then everyone forgot it was a big wave and stopped paying attention.
Pipeline = Caitlyn Jenner: Not generally considered a big wave but so famous it can choose whatever it wants to be.
Maverick’s = Khloé Kardashian: Gets attention but for mostly for slightly awkward missteps and also marries odd men.
Shipsterns = Kanye West: Very strange.
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I dont know who any of these people are, so kind of makes the article utter crap.
i think we all live near a future wave tub.
Lamar Odom = Terramar. Cracked out in a Vegas whore house… fuck I’m not funny. Never mind…..
This one had great potential. Try again.
Kris Jenner defs not ageless
Unlike the extended family, at least the waves provide some actual purpose that enhances other lives.
La Jolla Cove = Kris Jenner’s wax bar attendant; ashamed to claim it, but still texts all her friends to tell the tale.
Fuck Albee Layer. Complaining about crowds while you film everything you do and exploit surfing for your own financial gain? I hope a jet ski runs him over. One less entitled sell-out complaining about the “outsiders” ruining his special spot. White guys in Hawaii should just keep their mouths shut and be happy with what they got.
Mundaka = Keanu Reeves – A lot more popular in the ’90’s, but still packs a punch.
Who are the Kardashian’s?
“…take that the wrong way”
I see what you did there.
“Any port in a storm!”
and Surfline is TMZ
khloe is actually the hottest kardashian. what TV doesn’t show is that the others (like most pro surfers) are hobbit-esque in stature. khloe’s the only one who doesn’t seem like a runt when one stands next to her.
to me that makes her teahupoo
also – you forgot kendall ! the only one that the high-fashion people want to feature
Damn you actually know which is which? Which one was a total dog and got all surgically fucked when she was 15?
Belharra is the sister who had all the plastic surgery when she was 15 but still is a butterface!!
Fuck you beat me by a split second.
Who are these people?
Do any of them have an uncle you used to think was made of muscle, but now you’ve grown up you realise it was all burgers? That’s Belharra.
Go surf it.
I can’t believe you brought Kanye’s wife into this article man. He gonna jump that fucking coffee table!
its OK, Payne West is actually married to himself , and just oversees the fat arse Wombat Clan!
Jump the table has to now enter the lexicon.
This act will haunt careers and make excellent fodder for eulogies!
OFF TOPIC: So I double-dog dare Ashton or the big boss man at Stab to tell Kelly or Mark Price to take down the Gamma ads. Makes me love Firewire even more.
Who are these people?
Nazaré = Scott Disick: ….but many question if there’s any substance.
Don’t you mean maybe too much substance(s). Of course this could be anyone at a post WSL event or Stab party.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
But does Caitlyn Jenner ever backdoor?
cortez banks = bruce jenner: disappeared nowhere to be found.
Ha!