The end is nigh!
When you picture the future, in your mind’s eye, is it rosy and hopeful or dark and stormy? Like, stormy not in a passing squall kind of way but in a eath-hasn’t-seen-the-sun-for-decades-because-toxi-pollution-clouds-cover-everything-and-spew-acid? Well, if you are the former you should probably transition to the latter and especially since you are a surfer.
A new study out of England reveals that UK surfers are three times more likely than the non-surfers to house antibiotic resistant superbugs in their guts which can pollute the rest of the body’s natural business and also breed and multiply and pass on to others.
The Independent reports:
Researchers from the University of Exeter said surfers swallow ten times more seawater than swimmers and bacteria from sewage runoff can get into the body, despite coastal cleanliness improvements.
Worryingly, surfers were also much more likely to be carrying bacteria which are able to pass on resistance DNA to other bugs in the body.
“This research is the first of its kind to identify an association between surfing and gut colonisation by antibiotic resistant bacteria,” said Dr Anne Leonard, of the University of Exeter Medical School, who led the research.
The increasing prevalence of drug resistance in bacteria has led to England’s chief medical officer, Professor Dame Sally Davies, to warn of an approaching “post-antibiotic apocalypse”.
The story goes on to talk about the general dangers of drug-resistant bugs and how humanity is basically going to get wiped off the the planet and all thanks to surfers.
So, I guess at the end, the dystopia will having nothing to do with acid rain. Even bringing that scenario up likely shows my age but can we have some real talk? Do any of these pandemic scares worry you in the slightest? Do you read stories like this, think back on all the hundreds of times you surfed in brown muck and shrug or are you heading out to your garage, right now, to torch all your boards?
Do you re-think your life choices ever?
An old mate from Tiverton loved the pies and would be up to his knees in the pen and ink if he thought he could get a laugh or Ronnie Coote out of it .
so which ones you mullet , are you a one eyed pirate , or the hand slapping goggle creature?
Just on subject , which country has the most infected beaches and why? (Talking to myself again , rhetorical question!)
Hawaii , the North Shore has so much bacteria in the water that if you get a cut there , the first generation of Anti-biotics don’t work anymore , so its the new expensive AB’s for surfers …why , because there are so many septic tanks , all overused so the bacteria is leaching into the ocean..
I think everybody under 60 should give up surfing unless in the confines of super safe chlorinated pool!
That’s probably just your penis, nothing to worry about.
I surfed ungodly filthy Honolua Bay after a torrential rain about a month ago. Pumping fun head plus to head and a half, but completely opaque diarrhea brown with slimy chunks of jungle clunking dings into your speeding board.
Mostly I was terrified that the tigers were close by hunting by braille, but also couldn’t stop thinking about how many rough shits had been taken up the valley behind the kale smoothie truck. I spit so much that I badly dehydrated myself and cramped up. But maybe I was avoiding the bacteria? And then a grunty DOH set blasted the whole line up. On the second one I felt that filthy water rudely jam itself up my nose until it was hosing into my mouth. I hacked and hocked like a cat until a slimy little string of what looked like rotten banana leaf spat out.
Didn’t get sick (!), but ultra-fun size Honolua Bay on a day made relatively quiet by the less desperate waited out the shitstorm? I’d paddle out to that every day of what would probably be a short rest of my life 🙂
Discipline is another name for the Queen’s country’s love of a good enema( bondage and discipline) only this time it’s with salt water .
“to warn of an approaching “post-antibiotic apocalypse”. You could have warned us sooner that the zombies were here. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Maybe they are just telling porky pies ?
Urrggh. Old drunk who sits outside the bank calls that out to me every single fucken time I jog past in my wetsuit. Never gets tired of it.
You go jogging in your wetsuit you’re mad!
Wincy if it’s European winter cold you jog / run . Had a 30 m dark passage on my way home from frigid surfs which never saw the sun for 6 months of the year and became known as DEATH ROW .
It’s the peak of the day right now and it is 6 degrees C and windy. Everything is wet and it hasn’t rained for a few days.
Your lucky it’s 3 degrees and raining in bloody Kiel ps now it’s snowing
I ran into an ol German mate who now lives in Kiel in the water in Morocco the other day, had lost contact with him, last time I saw him was Mexico 10 years ago. And so it goes. It just started raining here by the way.
Bugger. Hope you got stuck into that pre Xmas swell . My Nephew was there and it looked fun in the photos .
Yeah was good! Got a bit a week after NYE also.
Well done champ .
It’s worse than that wincy – I go jogging in my wetsuit with no shoes on and I carry a surfboard! Imagine how much I could improve my times if I wore sexy jogging pants and running shoes.
You sure that you haven’t been called out on kook of the day with a #yeastmode?
#Yeasty!
So what about the handful of surf crap attacks that were unavoidable? There was a time in Mex that i thought I was far enough outside the line up, but whadayouknow ocean currents are unpredictable. Cleared the whole lineup.
Who would have thought surfers were merely modern day rats? And I thought we were made in the image of our Laird and saviour.
You are doing fun fun things with language here Nik Karol, apologies if saying so out loud ruins it
Could he be our Bard and saviour
Quite clever James, quite clever. But let’s be clear here: creepy, irrational, worshippy sucking up to Nik Karol is my thing. I might not be above driving to Hawaii in a diaper to protect our relationship. Here is a smiley face emoji that in this context is also vaguely threatening 🙂
May you remain eternally Nik‘s 🥇Pest . Amen 🙏
Fuck it i was hoping for acid rain
The surfing bug has always been passed on
Devon is so zeitgeist . Last weeks body boarders go black short and today’s Devon’s Backdoor Shootout brought to us from the Ex(cr)eter University . Oh to be from Devon me lover .
Well thank goodness for the Surf Ranch!
Where earplugs and keep your damn mouth shut instead of yapping about me “back-paddling” (aka being more athletic) around you and that will keep the bacteria out of your body.
Describing your greed as an athletic attribute? Nice. Our line-ups are clearly polluted in more ways than one!
This is a big deal!… everyone, I need you to listen now, quit surfing immediately! Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. The fate of my enjoym… of THE WORLD… err, MANKIND depends on it!
P.S. I enjoy surfing when it’s rainy.