Find a lake or whatever deeper than four metres and you can stick your portable wave pool on it!

Shrewd: A portable floating wave pool!

Two weeks to build, comes in big box, stick it on lake or river!

Want a portable wave tank? Twenty-five metres long, thirteen wide? Drag it anywhere, takes two weeks to assemble (the parts come in a container), use river water, lake water whatever and it costs something like a hundred bucks a day in electricity to run?

Zero water consumption, low power bills?

Now that sounds like a biz that works.

Lately, you might’ve got the feeling that wave pools are the new arms race.

It’s the Slater-Finchim tank vs Webber vs American Wave Machines vs Wavegarden vs Surf Lakes and so on. Each pool slightly different, each with its own imitation of ol’ ma nature.

Who’ll win? Who’ll be dashed upon the rocks of insolvency? Will all of ’em prove to be monstrous white elephants, destined to become creepy concrete pits when the surfers don’t come?

A slightly different angle on the game are the German companies, City Wave and Unit Park Tech. The Germans are into the standing wave model, the sort pioneered by the American Tom Lochtefeld and his Flowrider. Tom’s been in the game since the eighties, opening that first Flowrider in Texas in 1991. He knows the central problem to wavepools. They cost too much to build, and way too much to run.

And the Germans, who usually get their first taste of surf riding stationary river waves, aren’t adverse to the idea of this kinda tank.

The Unit Surf Pool, by Unit Park Tech, is, according to the PR, “a floating surf pool construction that brings a surfable deepwater wave to any body of standing water… it operates on a natural body of water which translates to an endless water supply and no need for chemical water treatment.

It’s a good sell.

Surf-pool
Here&Rsquo;S How It Works. Pumps Bring The Water Up From The River, The Lake, Whatevs. Water Flows Down The Ramp, Jets Or &Ldquo;Hydraulic Jump Phenomenon&Rdquo; Push It Back Up.

The first commercial version is at a joint called Surf Langenfeld between Dusseldorf and Cologne where the Unit Park Tech HQ is (history lesson: Cologne was one of the heaviest bombed cities in World War II, almost the entire population evaporated or evacuated).

Now, you’re not going to detour to Germany to jump on the damn thing, in case you’re wondering it’s 34 Euro an hour to ride, but it does show there’s a quick-to-build, cheap alternative to the magnificent $20 million-plus structures being shopped around.

Watch here.

https://www.facebook.com/unitparktech/photos/a.10150661029490488.391447.66750850487/10155281103345488/?type=3&theater

 

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Deano

I actually feel like I read something new in this article. Feels good

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt

You forgot about Negs. He knows all.

Sha-wing!

Derek let me boil down this article for ya. Save you some time clattering your keyboard next time: Click this link here for a wave will make you a pro at stiff, retarded looking cutbacks on a waist high mushy wave created by propellers; much like a boat wake.

Mariano Landa

While my absolute favorite potential benefit of this tank, the “drink a beer while you wait your turn” model is a proven non-revenue producer.

See: every public skatepark anywhere in the world.

Eddie Haiku

Ever skated drunk? Proper drunk? Fuck it hurts.

Mariano Landa

Not in a long time. Skating soberish hurts enough if I’m slamming or trying something new (which means I’m slamming).

The beers are better channeled towards my disappointment in aging and the difficulty of maintaining a relative skill level.

Eddie Haiku

I’m with you!

Bleach'd Git

I’m going to track Slater’s movements via Instagram, and then check every single IP address on here until I find a match!
Way more enjoyable than going out into the cold, scary post-antibiotic ocean.

Bleach'd Git

I know! muthafucken SD. Kelly loves us!

Tudor
James Bickerton

Green and free or muddied with greed

Brutus

or how many surfers could bend that low for that long on the left , and ah on the right we have a stand up barrel, for those of us who like waves over 1/2 a head high, unless you are Tom carrol which makes it head high!

James Bickerton

As a tall green water loving goofy who refuses to go in lakes for whatever reasons I had no choice but to choose nature’s left over the right hander next to the train .Any ideas of what you might ride or shape for yourself or others who were leaving the ocean to surf at the ranch ?Lots of talk about business but little talk of performance and design.

James Bickerton

Now if only they could workout how to put it inside and heat it because it’s a lovely 3degrees and raining 🌧 today in the German Republic , while the rest of the family is enjoying a thumping SE swell (free of charge but no shortage of chargers) somewhere between Nowra and Ulladulla in the middle of summer .

Snowbored

I like that it is called the “unit” for some reason

Theon Greyjoy
longtom

Cologne is also home to some of the most delectable teutonic maidens god ever set breath into.

The Bitchy Crab
James Bickerton

Just imagine them nude on the beaches of south west France 🇫🇷 🇩🇪 and any thoughts of paying 34€ to surf a frozen lake can be thrown out the window .Lovely Images of the heatwave during the 2006 World Cup in Germany.

Brutus

yeah but comparing German women to French women , not even in the same ball park , in fact I would go as far as to say , that French women are Numero ono !

James Bickerton

After a handful of long term relationships with , comme on dit en France plusieurs très belles femmes françaises,over a period of 20 years ,I fell for and married a wonderful German woman . Go figure .It definitely wasn’t for the waves , the climate or some dodgy static man made wave on a frozen lake .

Brutus

perfect , as I once said to my son, if you want to play and be entertained sexually , French women are the best , but just don’t marry one as Australians are too macho for them and they love the control!!

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt

Yes, but the Germans are into far more kinky, deviant sex acts. That whole leather and BDSM thing has roots in the eastern Germanic, western Slavic area I think.

Brutus

yes those big Blonde buxomous Frauleins will take care of you , if you are obedient!

Chazz Michael Michaels

Germans are vastly underrated.

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt

Plus they are into leather and kinky shit. Win win situation. I think we have found a new Mecca!

James Bickerton

and a magnificent cathedral, possibly dedicated to their beauty and an ok football team FC Köln

Nickthegreek

Not just Cologne, all over the joint. Leaving on Monday after 3 yrs, back to the South Coast – where god was more wave-focused than maidens.

Shampoo Poo

Yeti Wavebox?

Strider's Gobble Neck

I’m actually for wave pools now. Anything to clear lineups in the ocean is fine with me.

The Bitchy Crab

Are you related to Strider’s Attack Dog Tits? https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Strider's Gobble Neck

Those are just mine.

The Bitchy Crab

Juice or push ups?

longtom

gotta be a blend.

The Bitchy Crab

Nipples like industrial thumbtacks! It ain’t nature!

The Bitchy Crab

The power of the click! So appropriate on MLK Day!

The Bitchy Crab

Invest in Surf Lakes here! https://www.surf-lakes.com….

Otto

Have the gods gone crazy? Are we to believe that the world is flat?
SLATER DESIGNS advertising on Beach Grit!!!! Holy Shit Fuck!

The Bitchy Crab

Who can deny the magic of micro-engagement?

Preston

Well ya just lost Pete Schroff as a reader

Eddie Haiku

And Volland.

The Bitchy Crab

Did Sean hock his computer? Those energetic fingers sure have been quiet. Did a Slater fan strike? http://beachgrit.com/2017/0…

Eddie Haiku

I’d back him against a Slater fan. You know, one of those golf playing, chia seed munching 35-45 year old kooks.

The Bitchy Crab

Petey is bolted on, ain’t ya boy!

The Bitchy Crab
NEGATRON

God damn! that banner ad looks amazing… Has Slater finally found his home?

The Bitchy Crab

Just a glimmer of nymphet flesh! Sexy!

Ami Lost

micro-enragement?

Mariano Landa

I read that as “who can deny the magic of micro-aggression”

Craven Morehead

At least they will pay in cash, not boards

Ami Lost

baht

ricmatic

I guess McCintosh has no juice with the goat.

Tomas' silky smooth arms

Somehow they need to market wavepools so that the biggest fuck sticks in the ocean (think Laird types) feel the need to use them frequently. Any ideas?

channelbottom

Yoga-foiled SUP-pool

Tomas' silky smooth arms

With Laird SuperFood products available.

oceanyeti

I bet the marine life would love get up in one of those pumps! Dinner’s sourced while you’re sliding on a predictable and efficient German-built wall.

Edit: Scrap that, actually has been awarded a *FISH FRIENDLY CERTIFICATE so there will be no fishy casualties

PacificNorthPest

#PlayingTheFishCard

ricmatic

what is so god damn wrong with ocean waves?

Eddie Haiku

It’s just so hard to make money from a free resource! Business people hate the fucking ocean. Useless, no good, piece of crap.

turts

What’s so wrong with drinking water from a tap?

The Bitchy Crab

Fluoride gives you bitch tits!

turts

Hahaha. That’s the best fluoride conspiracy theory I’ve heard. What if there’s fluoride in the wave pool water?

The Bitchy Crab

Magazine covers! https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

James Bickerton

And white teeth which will get you more sex than tattoos ever will . ( at least if your over the age of 30 )

resumes.mvlhawaii@gmail.com

Too many shitheads in the way!! Surfed two days ago with 100 kooks and rippers and only 80000 people live here. We need multiple slater wave pools at every marquee destination in the world. With all the billionaires that live on kauai and the number of surfers and people shitting out more babies, we deserve at least 5 here. Someone direct mark zuckerberg to this post!!

PacificNorthPest

Too far from the Fatherland, and seawater also touches shithole countries. Better to play it safe at your friendly neighborhood Alpensee!

The Bitchy Crab

Ain’t too many of ’em in Dusseldorf…

ricmatic

True that, I just have wave pool (technology) fatigue. Need to ride one asap.

The Bitchy Crab

You’ll be surprised, pleasantly and unpleasantly.

ricmatic

That NDA is on the brink… c’mon spill!!

The Bitchy Crab
Chazz Michael Michaels

What’s that little pink number you trotted out for the occasion then, Derek? Did you swither and ache over the decision?

James Bickerton

Hybrid Spray . 70s lightning bolts clashing with 80s new wave inspired checkerboard over a fluoro pink background. Interesting ?

James Bickerton

I would never have thought Nick Carroll would become a ventriloquist dummy after a long day on the ranch and if it was any one else I‘d be asking where Queen Sophie‘s Hand might be .

PacificNorthPest

fills out a sweater nicely too for being on the better side of 50. There’s some quality genes in the Carrolls’ pool.

Also, surf writers: middle age white men who look like Peter Pan Syndrome. Who knew? Oh yeah everybody

James Bickerton

I think a lot of people may see him as Tom‘s writer brother but he was a great competitor winning 3 Australian Titles and a poster boy for Piping Hot and Hot Buttered in the 80s before Tracks and then Surfing . Obviously he never stopped and turned into a bag of walnuts and not a balloon like those who have .I not sure about Peter Pan and I ain’t no surf writer but I definitely hung out with the Lost boys long into my 40s .

Ami Lost

like pink eye?

Bleach'd Git

What did you ask Santa for, Nick?

Eddie Haiku

0nly 11.75% of the people in this photo are women. Seems, fair?

James Bickerton

Yes but , one half of this 11.75 % is the CEO 👩‍💼 of the WSL and a woman . Possibly the glass ceiling is lower in surf journalism than in business . Buggered if I know .

dickie toledo

dick in a box.


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