Do you tell girls you "air"? And "tube"?
I am no John. Nor am I Keanu Asing or even Glenn Hall.
A typical session for me consists of missing waves, sections and exits. And bogging. So much bogging. I surf, but I am only above-average in a crowded summer line-up filled with soft-tops. For the rest of the year I sit wide of the herd, waiting for leftovers. Waiting to eat.
To put it simply, I am trash. But at least I know I’m trash.
And usually, I would never claim to be more than I am. But, to garner the attention of the opposite gender, is over-exaggerating ones surfing ability ok?
She didn’t surf, but she like, totally loved surfers. They were super hot. I was a surfer. I was lonely. So here are some obscenities that exited my mouth. No lies, mind you. Only exaggerations.
Yes, I have done that thing where you surf inside the wave!
*I pull in. I almost never come out.
Yes, actually, I totally can do that spinny thing in the air!
*without my feet on the board.
Do I compete? No way! I shan’t be constrained to a jersey. I prefer creative lines. I prefer the free surfer life.
*Creative bogging.
Am I sponsored? Of course!
*I work at a surf school. They pay me. Sometimes I surf in uniform on break. Does that count?
The conversation then veered into a dark, dark place of douchebagery. I needn’t write what was said. But I’ll give you a hint. It was some Laird Hamilton-level shit.
So, is overstating your surfing ability acceptable when pursuing romance?
Or have I brought shame to my family?
Should I go full Freddy P and familiarise my board with a submerged rock?
