...then can I tell you how fun it has been?
Tomorrow, at approximately 7 am Pacific Standard Time, I get wheeled into surgery in order to repair the damage that Mick Fanning, Kelly Slater and karma wrought upon my left shoulder. It will be the third time that I’ve been under general anesthesia. The first was for a severely broken arm, the second for a severely broken nose, and both times I came to vomiting blood and wishing for death.
I don’t like general anesthesia and in the unlikely event Mick Fanning, Kelly Slater and karma get the best of me can I say how much fun I had with you all?
It’s true!
When Derek and I sat at my kitchen counter and pressed “publish” that very first time those three plus years ago neither of us had any idea what this would grow into. All we knew is that we wanted something honest, something at least semi self-aware, something fun, something… anti-depressive and you have made it exactly that. I wake up every morning (except tomorrow) with a spring in my step excited to see if there is anything new from Matt Warshaw, Longtom, JP, Jazzy, Jen See and of course my favorite of all Derek Rielly.
But underneath each story is where the real magic happens. I laugh and laugh and learn about Durkheim and then laugh some more at one-liners like “I goggons a longboard once, it was shit, so I goggoff.” Negatron and company have truly outdone themselves.
So at the very end, I just really and truly wanted to thank you for anti-depressing me and if Mick Fanning, Kelly Slater and karma do get the best can you come to my funeral and make sure my tombstone reads:
Here lies Chas Smith.
He was a surf journalist.
Oops.
Thanks again.
I don’t want to be mean but if you write articles about yourself you aren’t a ‘surf journalist’, you’re just a blogger.
Hate to break it too you Chas but the only way you die from lethal anesthesia is if you murder Stab’s editorial staff. Chin up, get well soon.
https://www.theguardian.com…
Chas Next friday the 23rd Left total hip replacement just had the right one done 6 months ago Sucks Out 6 months on top of the last 6 months Sept 1 looking at Surf Hope your well SID
If there was ever a surf winter to miss in So.Cal, this is it…if it helps, remember no one else on this coast is doing much surfing either..
Good luck, Chas.
I happen to like general anesthesia especially when I’m good and jetlagged. 10 minutes under and I feel like a new man.
Wait, Chas, don’t go just yet, the way the BG website is laid out, I could not tell if you also wanted the Rainbow Sex Toy engraved on your tombstone. Please share.
Shit, you and Derek still owe me a beer for the quick tip on the Julian shoulder story, Well Derek can still pay up, but the flight to Australia is a bit steep for some Balter. Better to hit you up somewhere in Encinitas. Don’t die just yet. Beer are chillin’ somewhere.
It made me think of Top Gun!
Spent the last days watching ice dancing trying to figure out which team most resembles you and DR? My injuries look like a kitchen work triangle: knee, hip , t7+lower ribs.. You are braver than i, have a good nap
But which ice dancing team are we?
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Hope goes well!!! In Oz they generally wont touch a shoulder AC joint unless over 55 and don’t want to surf anymore – just saying!!!
Can you get out of it – or definitely need it done??
I would drink more and then do heaps rehab
multiple dislocations or gr3+AC, want to surf hard, get surgery
If you structurally stuffed yeah!! my mum 2 rotors done at 74 not the best – if can avoid I would, BUT you’re correct if no joint integrity need it!!
Oh Chas, you’ll live!!! They’ll fix your shoulder in no time and the world won’t miss you during those 1 or 2 hours of silence… we all know your sharp wit and tongue cannot be stopped! 🙂
Perhaps ask Freckles (D.K.) to hold your hand (the one on the other arm) if that makes you feel better.
Ah you’ll be fine.
Enjoy the meds.
I thought your constant and excessive intake of alcohol would have permanently negated the need for you to ever receive anesthesia.
NEGATRON Mod’d that negated permanently*.
*Joiny’s back so…
I’ve been under general anaesthetic twice. Once for a major ear operation and once to put a metal plate in my neck to fuse 2 vertebrae to fix an unstable fracture on my c5. Both caused by surfing.
You’ll be fine.
Make sure you ask them to record you waking up. People say some really funny shit when they are coming round.
And post it to YouTube. Revenue stream may be better than bartending tips!
Stoops
I’m not saying Chas is gonna fake his death to avoid a Goggans-inspired assault charge tomorrow, but…
Wait, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Say hi to Tupac, Andy Kauffman, and Elvis for us.
Will they do anything about the chip, or is that on the other shoulder?
this can’t be featured enough
Oh Newman, Chas won’t need the laughing gas now!
Has the lastest STAB memo gone from no wives and girlfriends commentating to for Christ’s sake have a fucking giggle?
Bit off topic here, but would you be so kind as to share vonr’s contact details with me. Providing he approves of coarse. Cheers. Phat.
Yip, will send it to your Disqus email…
Thanks Negs.
My father’s tombstone, per his instructions. “Here Lies Michael Warshaw. Beloved of Lois, Mimi, Nancy, and Claudia.” Dumped by all four wives. My 89-year-old dad is more BeachGrit-funny that I’ll ever be.
Absolutely brilliant.
Before you go STAB labelled the Wade Goodall move the “Top Knot”.
You can die happy now.
Oh that’s just too plain good.