Earth's great secrets are but one Kelly Slater and one Adam Fincham away from being cracked.
Can you recall that day before you were aware of Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch? When, in your mind’s eye a “wave pool” meant surge-y pushy whitewash-y nonsense? Mostly meant for children and the Chinese?
I can’t.
Like genetically modified food, wavepools now feel eternal and we can debate debate debate their moral value but it is a pointless exercise because they are the future and since they are the future they are also the past.
Eternal.
But oh the debates are interesting enough. The quality of wavepool versus natural waves. The essence etc. I’ll tell you what, I’ve surfed Surf Ranch and had all my thoughts and listened to the thoughts of others and interesting but nothing has definitively swayed me on the “which is better” discussion until yesterday evening when I was shown definitive proof that there is really no difference between the two.
That’s right. In our human arrogance we think our ”feelings” or “experience” matter. Of course they do not. The only thing that matters is empirical proofs and yesterday I was shown empirical proof that wavepools and nature are exactly the same.
And there you have it. Science took us to the moon. Science is allowing us to mock the earth.
Hahaha stupid earth. Your great secrets are but one Kelly Slater and one Adam Fincham away from being cracked.
Next stop, the human breast.
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Not safe for work. Oops. A warning would have been nice…
That being said, pool boarding and surfing aren’t the same.
Dear Sirs, I am writing into your beloved journal to hereforth and whereupon to state that I am now fully in favour of wavepools.
In fact I am so in favour of them, that I am fully of the opinion that the WSL and any other sundry surfing competition bodies or organisations should be using them all the time. BY LAW.
It would be mandatory that no public beach should sullied by competition which would mean that on the one day on the weekend I am allowed to surf by nature and family schedule, the FUCKING QS STRAGGLERS DON’T DESCEND ON MY QUIET MORNING SESSION
WITH THEIR SCREECHING AND HONKING AND MAKE ME FEEL UNWELCOME AT MY OWN FUCKING BREAK!!!
FUCK THE WSL AND FUCK SURFFEST.
thank you.
come and surf at redhead with me this arvo mate
I’d love to but my pass is now used up and I’ve got family ting to do.
I really appreciate the offer though! I’ll deffo take you up on it one of these days.
Feels good to vent to few close friends here though, sorry.
just took dog walk along there with kids – my wife working so my pass this arvo – it is not very gd maybe high tide is touch better.
hear ya pain when you want to go, to have the comp fuck your time is no good!!
I wasn’t even at a beach in use for the comp!
This is why I think somewhere near Ularu would be a fantastic place for a massive wave pool complex.
hear ya – wtf they doing there? that would piss me off big time
Aw you know… like…surfing.
Plus all the displaced locals from Dixon etc.
but stay on the comp bank for f sake
Nope. I’ve decided. Alice Springs it is. A wave pool complex will be built there and all competitors and other associated attendees to events are banned from appearing in groups of greater than 3 individuals at any one local natural beach.
‘Local’ of course covers a lot of coast line.
Laird: “Sounds like you need a hug! I’m foiling to you! Just hang on! You’re not on your period, right? OK. Cool! Just had to check!”
http://www.lairdhamilton.co…
tomorrow is sunday, and kid you not the last few times I have managed to surf a sunday, groups of 5-8 have paddled out in regular sucession – so am with ya
It’s God’s will you know.
No. But I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night.
I’m back -thanks Telstra!!
Is that footage from Ashtons sexbot – if so he punching well above his weight!!
Does he even exist anymore? Or is he 24/7 pumping a sexbot?
I think so – hopes he suffocates in those tits?
*sues manufacturer
**calls cops.
The rings on every finger are actually little power-lifting belts! Hrrrrrrruuuuhhhhh!!!!
I think you meant “money shots.”
i was unprepared for the image at the end 😳😳
There is no prepared for that image!
we have a surf spot near Bells called Boobs , Big Boobs just took on a new meaning!
But then when you think about it , we have au natural and that pair , well there’s seems to be a lotta Fake stuff in the USA right now !
Big Boobs! Ha! Must get nipply in the winter.
that is hilars 😀
Wow! Quiksilver’s new floatation device looks just like a hooker’s rack!
but does it deflate though because how can you possibly duck dive
I suspect that those pontoons are never leaving the beach.
it does seem like they’d get in the way of things yes
No one paddles any more. The pool and the ski is where it’s at!
shiiittttt i really am doing all the things wrong
Deflate is not an option with those puppies. Sure duck diving is tricky, as is any kind of paddling. However, the young lady in shot has just broken the world push up record, and is still rumoured to be bouncing upon said puppies.
Requires the participant be fully aware of the risks. Are we fully aware of the risks of these new contraptions?
Can we sue em for lack of danger?
You can sue for just about anything these days…..here’s a real humdinger:
“Sirgiorgiro Clardy claims Nike should have placed a label in his Jordan shoes warning consumers that they could be used as a dangerous weapon. He was wearing a pair when he repeatedly stomped the face of a john who was trying to leave a Portland hotel without paying Clardy’s prostitute in June 2012.”
http://www.oregonlive.com/p…
is kelly our very own elon musk?
Hah you think we went to the moon?
I’ll bite. Almost certainly yes. If it was fake, then explain to me how, given human nature, it is even remotely possible that that many people have kept such a massive secret for 50 years? Utterly fantasy to think that under any conditions so many people would collectively STFU for the rest of their lives. If that was even remotely possible then 6 hippies would still be camping on Tavarua. People flap their fucking gums – that I’m sure is a fact of life.
Boom goes the dynamite!
My god, when I saw the pic at the bottom I just assumed it was another of the obnoxious ads that seem to be spawning all over the site like gremlins in water.
Seriously, Chas and Derek, it’s only borderline bearable. There must be a more elegant solution.
ad blocker?
Bear with us! We trying some different options out here…
If you are having difficulty in deciding what is best for you, I suggest contacting the American Board of Cosmetic Surgery. They will help you with many options and possible solutions.
https://www.americanboardco…
Elegance, apart from our livery, has never really been part of our play.
Also: how else would you would meet single Russian beauties online? https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Or is that cookies betraying my dark browsing histories?
There’s one major difference. If you die surfing in the ocean, your estate can’t sue nature*. Mark my words, there will be more than one wave pool location that sinks under the burden of liability for death suffered at the hands of their Frankenstein creation.
* waiver of right to sue agreements have limitations as to scope.
Unless it’s deemed an “Hazardous Activity,” right? Or is that just for public things like skateparks?
Laws regarding assumption of risk vary from one jurisdiction to another. Skateparks are insulated by implied assumption of risk. So yes, a skatepark being a hazardous activity insulates municipalities. Lack of supervision is what anchors the assumption of risk. Counter intuitive but true. Wave pools are too new to know if the activity is an inherently dangerous activity or not. There are way more moving parts than early wave pool designs. My first thought about “release” forms was regarding minors, a target demographic. Minors by law cannot be held to the terms of any contracts. If a minor dies at the wave park, wouldn’t matter if they signed a release. And in most jurisdictions, wouldn’t matter if their parents signed for them. Insurance is going to be a major cost of business, and sometimes all it takes is that first death claim to sink the ship.
Remind me to never sue you Otto.
Remit $500 and I’d be happy to.