Just in: Shortboards banned from Trestles!

An inglorious fall.

What an inglorious gut punch this year has been for southern California’s most iconic wave. Trestles, located just south of San Clemente in bucolic San Diego County, has long enjoyed its position at the top. Two whole generations have explored the very fringes of progression while photographers stood shoulder to shoulder upon the cobbled stone, bringing super-human feats to our attention.

The wave has hosted the world’s best surfers and judges as an important stop on the World Surf League’s Championship Tour and it seemed like nothing but nothing would ever get in the way. Air reverses ad infinitum.

Except then the wheels fell entirely off.

First, Trestles was dropped from Tour, leaving the entire United States of America with zero events.

Now, shortboards, and progression, have been banned from Trestles.

You read that right. This September 9 – 19 there will be a minimum 9-feet-of-surfboard required to paddle out for the alt longboard tour Relik is coming and has captured the permit. Let’s read from the event website:

Relik unites the global longboard surfing community while building a sustainable competitive platform for all disciplines of longboard surfing. A modern and classic Longboard World Tour hosting 50 of the top longboard surfers from around the world.

Our goal is to perpetuate the growth of modern longboarding as well as honor the masters of traditional logging and style.

Relik’s modern pro division is complemented by an equally impressive line-up of sixteen traditional standout competitive loggers. These mavericks of style continue to perpetuate the art of surfing and have been influential in enriching the longboard community by honoring tradition and authenticity.

Son of a bitch. The end is certainly nigh.

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Black Rubber
Black Rubber
8 years ago

The waves for the extinct Trestles WSL comp were always perfect for longboarding. This sounds about right – except for the hi-pro part, of course.

Yakov Bok
Yakov Bok
8 years ago

Wot, no foiling comp?!

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago

‘Relik’: another semi-illiterate company who think they’re edgy by spelling a perfectly good word badly.

East of the 5
East of the 5
8 years ago

I’ll be down there selling ironic t-shirts, man bun scrunchies, organic kombucha, Mexican blankets, free trade coffee beans, and artwork made from trash.

Otto
Otto
8 years ago
Reply to  East of the 5

Might think about teaming up with Chas’ Cobbler by the Sea stand.

Captain Clark
Captain Clark
8 years ago
Reply to  East of the 5

That space is taken by Alex Knost.

KRS Won
KRS Won
8 years ago
Reply to  East of the 5

Namaste

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago

Not related (to anything). I’ve been on a break from BG in an attempt to live Chas’ new book. Release date?

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

This totally proves my theory that the human species is now de-evolving and on our way back to the primordial soup.

Moreton Bay Porridge
Moreton Bay Porridge
8 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

Life was easier in the soup.

brye
brye
8 years ago

Welcome to the revolution

KRS Won
KRS Won
8 years ago
Reply to  brye

…I said while unzipping my pants in the direction of the hottest girl in the bar

Jazzy P
Jazzy P
8 years ago

The ‘relik website looks gorgeous…. like Mr Porter

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
8 years ago
Reply to  Jazzy P

Jazzy P knows his audience!

Doobalachy
Doobalachy
8 years ago

USA getting ready for the olympics?

Bob Driver
Bob Driver
8 years ago

Rumors are Brit Grit is negotiating to webcast the Relik tour… Chas & Reilly have vowed to unleash their ATP styled version of “quiet in play” commentary with water and beach interviews trading off between Barton Lynch, Devon Howard and Daisy Fuentes. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Otto
Otto
8 years ago

What great fortune this is! Those are the dates of the Trestles Cobblestone Chucking Championships. There hasn’t been such a meeting of sporting endeavors since the last Renaissance Fair!

bitter guy
bitter guy
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

i got one of those water balloon launchers, just need 2 guys to hold it while i pull it back.

KRS Won
KRS Won
8 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

…said your mom

ricmatic
ricmatic
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

“Shot put” by the sea!

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Everyone loves a good Stoning .Will we women have to wear fake beards?

Otto
Otto
8 years ago

Yes. Fake beards dipped in goulash.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Wonderful touch to the scene from the Life of Brian .

ricmatic
ricmatic
8 years ago

Jehovah jehovah!

bitter guy
bitter guy
8 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

she did, she did….ughh, he did, he did!

Captain Bee Fart
Captain Bee Fart
8 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

Shut up big nose

KRS Won
KRS Won
8 years ago

You can’t even get to the beach in Canggu nowadays if you don’t have a fake beard

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago
Reply to  KRS Won

Call all hipsters boring old farts and set light to them is what Sex Pistols Manager,Malcom Mclaren invited young punks to do in 77 . ( ok he used hippy in the place of hipster )

KRS Won
KRS Won
8 years ago

Lol, excellent advice, will do

Strider's Gobble Neck
Strider's Gobble Neck
8 years ago

High performance longboarding is probably the equivalent of surfing syphilis.

astro
astro
8 years ago

Close – but that is definitely claimed by sup.

KRS Won
KRS Won
8 years ago

As like it’s that old ?

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
8 years ago

Ashton is all in! See newest collab OK x Frivolous Lawsuits (as always, surf brands are behind the times)…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

KRS Won
KRS Won
8 years ago

Back to Canada with that shit. Sorry!

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
8 years ago

April 1st isn’t for a few days.


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