Just in: Mavericks cancelled for the year!

A speed bump!

The feel good storyline of the year hit a massive speed bump today as it hurtled toward a cinematic conclusion. Today is the final day of the Big Wave Tour Mavericks Invitational presented by Hungry-Man Fillin’ Philly Cheesteaks and Slut Sity Adult Entertainment.

The event did not run the year’s promised surf failed to materialize rendering the season un-surfed.

As reported by the Bay Area’s local NBC affiliate:

Wednesday marks the final day that the competition window for the Mavericks Challenge contest is open, but unfortunately for surfers, Mother Nature is not and has not been cooperating this season.

“Unfortunately, an appropriate swell didn’t materialize in the window because…, but we’re excited to see it come to life next season,” Dave Prodan, World Surf League’s Senior Vice President of Global Brand Identity, said in a statement.

As NBC Bay Area has been reporting, the WSL bought the rights to the surf contest after the previous organizers declared bankruptcy.

And that was the feel good storyline of the year. The WSL wresting control of the iconic event from the grubby hands of diet product entrepreneur Griffin Guess. The event running in perfect conditions. Local legend Shawn Dollar winning and donating his proceeds a nearby animal shelter just in time to stave off the evil bank manager.

Griffin Guess was going to be played by Christopher Lee.

Shawn Dollar = Chris Pratt

Dave Prodan = Elijah Wood

The kindhearted animal shelter owner = Jennifer Aniston

The evil bank manager = Kevin Bacon

Surf Dawgs would have been lauded for its touching depiction of big wave surfing and socially conscious message about spaying and neutering pets.

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resumes.mvlhawaii@gmail.com
8 years ago

Who will play the venerable Jeff Clark greedily exploiting his discovery for just a few thousand more dollars?

surfmom
surfmom
8 years ago

Roseanne Barr

SURF
SURF
8 years ago

Mavericks on Jan. 18th looked amazing though

Doobalachy
Doobalachy
8 years ago

Thanks, made me smile in the way home from work

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
8 years ago

Alas. It’s a very common modern day problem. Cut the porn and reap the rewards.
I dare you.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
8 years ago

Senior Vice President of Global Brand Identity. So. Does this mean there is a Junior Vice President? If so, does this also mean there is a Vice President that is neither Senior or Junior? Three executives to baby sit the blandest identity in surf? Fuckity fucking fuck!

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
8 years ago

Jennifer Aniston on a cold frosty Half Moon Bay morning in a white tee. Mint.

Captain Clark
Captain Clark
8 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

Double mint! Many an innocent episode of friends where the producers added flare by having the set ice cold. I watch for the comedy of course.

Rick_Deadman
Rick_Deadman
8 years ago

Will Mick transition to acting after Bells? Has he ‘earned’ enough to become a philanthropist? Will he deliver PWC training to snapper locals? So many options…

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
8 years ago
Reply to  Rick_Deadman

You can answer the first question by watching his work with Parko in Derek’s retirement story.

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago
Reply to  Rick_Deadman

Will he do an air?

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago

Who was to play The Shark?

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
8 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Gary Busey.

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago
Return of the Samsung Board
Return of the Samsung Board
8 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Ow my eyes

surfmom
surfmom
8 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

if this were audio it’d be volume 11.

surfmom
surfmom
8 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

if this were text it’d be all caps

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago

You had my full attention at Slut Sity Adult Entertainment.

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
8 years ago

More Percocet.

Jim Brown
Jim Brown
8 years ago

You are on fire today Mr Smith


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