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Margaret River overheats with shark fever!

If you live in Margaret River, you’ll know how good…how big… Saturday was. Ten-to-twelve feet in the morning with twenty-footers hammering reefs by the afternoon.

The pro surfer turned real estate agent Mitch Thorson, ranked #16 in the mid-eighties and noted for his jams in big waves, had just cleared up an auction, grabbed his surfing equipment and had headed to Main Break, Margs, he says, “to sit on the shoulder and watch some big ones… it was genuine Hawaiian sorta shit. It was as close to as good and as big as it gets.”

But when Mitch, who is fifty three years old, arrived he was greeted by an empty lineup. A friend stuck his head in his window and told him a Great White “as wide as those Fiats yuppies drive” had swum through the lineup, mowing through salmon. Twice the White had been seen. The entire lineup paddled in.

The Western Australian salmon, of course, and as has been previously explained, gather around Cape Leeuwin and Busselton to “spawn when the eastward flowing Leeuwin Current is strongest, and eastward-directed winds are dominant, enabling transport of pelagic larvae to the south-east.”

Which normally isn’t enough to clear the water around these parts.

Mitch knew it was serious when one surfer, a South Australian transplant who’d stayed out when his pal Rob Bruce was bumped off his board by a Bronze Whaler last week, beached it.

“When I heard that, I knew it was for real,” says Mitch. “He’s never scared.”

Shortly after, an officer from the Department of Fisheries came up, wrote his message on the now ubiquitous shark sign (above) and advised surfers not to enter the water.

A marine biologist pal of Mitch’s describes the shark fever as being directly related to the hundreds of whales floating through lineups and washing onto beaches. “It’s like when you walk into a chook pen and you’re hanging out with the chooks, they’re chilling out and cruising around you, but when you throw pellets on the ground they go berserk. That’s what the shark behaviour is at the moment.”

On the day two surfers were attacked by sharks around Gracetown, a shark watch helicopter crew member says he saw fifteen large sharks between North Point and Kilcarnup.

Mitch did go surfing on Saturday, his ten-three turned into a longboard instead of an elephant chaser, sliding along waist-high reforms in front of the Gnarabup cafe with “women, children and guys with their girlfriends.”

“A one-foot little roller, riding these rolly polly little things that go for a hundred yards. But it was nice to go surfing. I haven’t been surfing much.”

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Weslley’s Secret Life - Wozzle

Gabriel Whingina’s next Ozzie leg going to see his boards on the locker room being sprinkled with the fragrance “Great White Romance”. Slogan: “Dare to nibble life”.

ricmatic

Douglas Adams cameo!

Tomas' silky smooth arms

So Mitch did or did not get to jam one of the top?

frank

I for one, want to see the video from the Gnarabup session!

turts

I’ve gone and bought a skatey. If you need me I’ll be reading Thrasher.

Snowbored

Better call Croc Dundee!

The Bitchy Crab

Too sad! His wife just eloped with Moroccan toy boy! https://www.newidea.com.au/…

nicky buttonshaw

She choose the tight balls over the saggy.
He did something similar 30yrs ago.

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Snowbored

Well, fuck……. now what?

Otto

That sign!?! Subtle hint that sharks are developing helicopter capabilities. Be wary.

The Bitchy Crab

Or is it a slightly wrinkled halo?

Otto

A frightening thought.
Halo: Shark Attack
https://youtu.be/AEe2ukNOEvc

Lindalovelace

5 meter white cleared the lineup at the Box yesterday.

The Bitchy Crab

So many tape measures in the lineup!

bitter guy

4 foot Hawaiian

longtom

the scary is that water shrinks! They are bigger than they appear just under.

Lindalovelace

Good point , word is it was fatter than Mitch (bitch foreskin) Thorsen , so that makes it a legit 5 meter jobby.

joeys nosegard

and he would have chosen gnarra shorey anyway

Noa's last dart

3 metre Bronzey might be more accurate?

longtom

Do yuppies drive fiats?

davidcarson

no.

The Bitchy Crab

I think, in the Margaret River region, where Nissan Patrols and Toyota Landcruisers run the show, yes.

longtom

I thought fiats went extinct.

The Bitchy Crab

No, no, from 24,990 driveway for that odd little quasi four-wheel-drive…

longtom

That doesn’t sound like a yuppie mobile, maybe a first or second car for the recently employed young urban aspirational.

Eddie Haiku

Fuck those whales! Turn them all into chook pellets so the chooks can go berserk and not the GWS. We don’t want any former pro surfers turned real estate agents berserkered!

The Bitchy Crab

Can you imagine being berserkered on? Why it just spins the head!

Eddie Haiku

If the berserkering was to be inflicted upon you by the original Berserkers, your head would literally be spinning off your shoulders and into the icy waters of the North Sea. Those Vikings were tough fuckers but the Berserkers were next level!

The Bitchy Crab

The Zulus were very good in that sphere, too. I urge a reading of Shaka Zulu etc.

channelbottom

You ever seen an angry moke on amphetamines?

Eddie Haiku

Never had the pleasure, but a hairy gay biker once attempted to take me on a date against my will. I’d imagine the fear factor would be in a similar realm!

James B

Medina and Italo were fucking right.
#outmainbreak
#inFernandoDeNoronha

Chris Binns

Why not both? Please!


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