I am but a vessel.
I had a revelation last week reclining in bed watching professional basketball on television. A prophetic adumbration of my true role on God’s green earth. And do you watch the television series Homeland? The show is generally fine enough but this past season exceeded all others and leapt to very good. My favorite storyline involved a character by the name of Brett O’Keefe, a firebrand extreme right-ish wing radio host cut from the cloth of Alex Jones with a little Steve Bannon sprinkled in for good measure.
Now, Mr. O’Keefe would rail against the government, fomenting revolution, on his radio program etc. and eventually wound up on the run, broadcasting from basements and leading a rebellion by some well-armed survivalists. He was a very bad leader, being bold and vicious whilst on the air but cowardly and indecisive off it. I won’t spoil, but things end horribly with the FBI killing lots of people and Mr. O’Keefe blubbering in the corner.
And as I was lounging in bed watching professional basketball on television I heard a voice from heaven sayeth unto me, “Lo, for it is incumbent upon you to raise your voice, all loud and gravely, and foster a rebellion against the World Surf League for it is not the true and right representation of professional surfing on earth. It has been waylaid by confused leaders promising non-endemic eyeballs and mechanical perfection that is totally boring. And you shall talk much shit with your voice all loud and gravely upon the podcast and march unto Lemoore where there will be a great battle or maybe march unto Santa Monica where many imposters live adjacently.”
I responded, “But my voice is not loud and gravely. It sounds instead like a muppet and gets increasingly shrill when I becometh agitated! Can’t you choose another more aggrieved with a rich baritone like the martyr Barton Lynch?”
There was no answer, though, and I finished watching professional basketball on television while pondering these things in my heart.
On today’s podcast, alongside David Lee Scales, we talk Founders’ Cup, The People™, Waco, Sophie Goldschmidt and I try and foster a rebellion without getting too shrill.
It’s probably the best one yet.
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Jo(rdy)seph Smith receives the Golden Plates from the Angel Moroni at the feasts of trumpets Rosh HaShanah.WSL meets Book of the Mormon and the NBA in the above painting by Kenneth Riley ?Would have preferred Caravaggio’s Incredulity of St Thomas for the rebellious doubters .
You know what I got from this podcast, that the surf in California must be very shit right now.
it is, it really, really is
Soooooo bad…. and the dreaded south devil wind to boot. Sideshore wind for days. If I only had a ticket to Waco
The story line in the last season of homeland was more stretched than Laird’s quads. Thought it was their worst season ever.
Me too. Each one, worse and worse. At least Brody’s still dead though.
Is Brody the ginger that stars on Billions? I like Billions, reminds me how fucking poor I am
It’s Mother’s Day in Oz, and at least where I am, fathers are also getting a gift in the form of a lack of conflict. The surf is so horrid and blown out that we are able to focus on letting Mums rest etc. rather than scheming ways to go get an epic head-dip in weekend burgers.
Same in Southern California – or it will be, at least. Thankfully?
If it wasn’t for ya father ya wouldn’t have a mother so remember Dad on Mother’s Day.
My lovely woman always says, “Thanks for making me a Mum”. I had no idea I was. At the time…
yesterday during the 5 minutes that I was able to watch the Women’s Rio pro before falling into a comaI I noticed a different host..maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel..
He is about as talented as the guy from Surfline
His shirt was VERY sparkly!
Re:
I did too. Probably ’cause it’s down in Brazil, no?
Let’s get a shout~out to some of the old surf commentators from back in the day, ok?
I’m in The U.S.A. ~ you surfers remember Dave Stansfield? Or Rockn’ Fig? P.T.? Randy Rarick? Fred Hemmings? Anyone else got some names of regular contest announcers from times past?
Lord Tally~Ho Blears, maybe?
Hmmmm…
Absolutely!
I know you threw BLs name in there as an unabashed filthy troll, but I’ll bite.
BLs a muppet, mate.
Christ no one gets more excited than him to break down a heat.
Jeez, he still genuinely believes Super Sall is gonna win a title.
He’s never gonna bag WSL while there’s still a chance of having a mic or a camera on him.
Right on Astro BL is a Muppet, if he scores another gig with WSL team it will prove the WSL is run by hoodads. BL and NC will never bag the hand that feeds them.
And no one can blame them for that.
That’s the unwritten rule.
just so ya know, the WSL has absolutely no hold over me whatsoever.
Great. It’s good to know your comments are unfiltered.
Cheers
ah I dunno about unfiltered, we all look at things through our own filters, but fealty to the WSL isn’t one of mine
I hear ya.
Can I add ? Course I can.
I’ve always enjoyed your writing over the years, Nick.
Always to the point. kudos for that
Snicker snicker
Damn, I thought the radio host storyline was absolutely horrible! And then it just disappeared halfway through the season! (Side note: look up the actor on Wikipedia- he was Mick Jaggers drug mule as a child, etc). But to each his own – at least we can agree on fine tailoring, pink shoes, and the smiting of professional surfing.
You’re right. That storyline, apart from providing inspiration, was terrible. I thought Claire D’s crazy was next level though.
Love Claire D’s crazy
I love that she literally fucks her way through the CIAs most wanted list.
Her vag has had more terrorists in it then an Afghanistan mountain cave.
Yet they still question her loyalty.
It is time to recapture the true sprit of surfing!!! WSL seeks to enslave the soul of our surf tribe. Rebellion is the answer. Or don’t give a fuck what those idiots are up too like I do.
Competitive surfing is not my thing and I don’t understand it or ever will. Let them all ride the mechanical beast in the wastelands. I’ll surf the imperfections of the sea .
Hiya Miki Dora’s bastard son!
I’m shoutin’ out to ya from a near~by L.A. point~break,
a few miles down from The ‘Bu right now, ok?
Re this comment, from you:
It’s really kinda easy to understand, ya dig? Here, let me help ya out, ok?
I’m gonna go back in time, to a year waaay back, it’s 1987,
when Billabong’s ‘Surf~into~Summer’ video came out,
and~a dude named Matt Warshaw had the mike:
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Sometimes I like re~watchin’ The Old School do their sheee~it,
like in this old B/B flick Surf~into~Summer.
Teach an old doggie, or a young shredder a new trick?
From 30 years ago?
Hahahahaha!
RW
PS~Cool to see a young Calif. goofy~footer named Bud Llamas
ridin’ a wider board 30 years ago, kinda similar to what Gabriel Medina rides nowadays
in competition. See 17:37 of that vid above…
What do The Old Guyz know?
Nuthin’??? Hmmmmm…
I could care less about competition. I’d rather surf than watch from the beach or the sofa.
Right on dude, to each their own…
The time zone for me is usually different where I’m at, vs like what it is in Brazil or many other locations around the world where The
ASPWSL holds their events. So watchin’ The Best try to get it on, in all kinds of different conditons is kinda fun to watch live, when I getta chance. I wonder what would Chas, LongTom and some of the other B/G writers post of/complain about if there was no WSL Pro Tour?Heya Dora’s bastard son,
Question for ya: If you’re at the bar, ah, the pub,
do ya like to play/compete in a game of pool, aka billiards,
or just watch it, or do ya just ignore pep’s doin’ so?
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Me, I’ve always kinda liked abitta competition, doin’ it, or even watchin’ it, whether it’s now WSL surf, NBA basketball, NFL football, etc. Competition is fun, watchin’ so too in my old, sun~burnt eyed opinion…
GINGER TOMKINS
83 Beaurepaires’ event at Cronulla big Bud and Occy stole the free surf show probably riding boards with similar dimensions to today’s contemporary high performance short boards .As The Ancient Greeks believed and the Chemical Brothers and Shirley Bassey performed “It’s all just a little bit of History Repeating “ ( boards , shoes , jeans , haircuts , music just to name a few ).
✊🏼