A simple five minutes of great California surfing set to very Shazamable tunes…
“People are having fun, jumping in the pool, and she’s out there looking at the moon.” Charles Bukowski, Women.
Chas Smith hates Bukowski. Loathes him. I remember reading that somewhere. I happen to dig Buk. But I’m more of a Santa Anita man while Chas is on the infield at Del Mar’s opening day right this minute, very well-dressed, perfectly drunk and swimming through luxurious pools of irony looking like Oscar Wilde’s dream casting for the part of Lord Henry Wotton.
He is winning, I am losing.
And it is why I love him so and will likely hijack his buzz this evening and use it as conversation kindling. There is much to discuss, and we have a new favorite hang: the recently renovated Roxy somewhere south of the Camp Pendleton battlefield. We talk surf and words while the waitress with the tiny tattoos brings us drink.
But Bukowski: I mention him today because Dane. That little quote above made me think about the surf landscape. It’s from a Buk book I was reading last night. Women. I am reading a second time because my girlfriend is in an all-female book club and they must have been double-dared to read it. I’m gonna go along for that ride.
So last night, as I’m drunkenly trudging through Los Angeles barrios with Buk, fucking and fighting anything that moves, I found myself stuck on that line (anything about pools catches my eye these days). I underlined it. I thought about Dane. He wasn’t a wave pool dude. He’s a moon man. Then I woke up this morning and voila! A new Dane part!
Fuck the pools, the moon finally had something worth looking at.
The new part is brought to you by Former and comes with some cool new t-shirts designed by Dane. The vid (and line of shirts) is called “Copacetic” and it is another artistic surf poem from the king of the anxiety generation — that crew of surfers aged 29-to-35 left straddling the millennial fence, torn and lost between releasing their edits via the Palm Desert outlet mall of modern surf media and the archaic but glorious days of DVD and VHS. Dane has learned to master the straddle. And sold a few tees along the way.
The edit made me wanna get off my ass and go surf — which is much more than I can say about what happens when I open Instagram and watch the repeat production of wave pool rides and wipeouts. I’ve laid on my bed for hours and hours this sweaty summer watching Instagram shorts of team managers riding waves in pools and all I get is a headache and lots of sadness.
Let’s quickly review the surfing in Copacetic: Dane is great at riding waves. His aggression on a wave is so attractive. So much pent-up energy unleashed. He’s also so good at making surf vids. It’s how his mind works: it thinks in surf vid. And in this day of spoiled self-promoting golf-cart-driving sponsor groms, shark attack hysteria, WSL Facebook debacles and team manager wave pool edits, this simple, 5-minutes or so of great California surfing set to very Shazam-able tunes is the best bit of surf cinema we’ll probably get for some time.
The edit made me wanna get off my ass and go surf — which is much more than I can say about what happens when I open Instagram and watch the repeat production of wave pool rides and wipeouts. I’ve laid on my bed for hours and hours this sweaty summer watching Instagram shorts of team managers riding waves in pools and all I get is a headache and lots of sadness. There is no jazz in the pool. But this morning things were different.
The horses were running and there was surf jazz by Dane! You all can have the pool, I’m going to the moon.
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The Surf World Needs More Literary Quotes from Travis Ferre
I’m a hot chick trying to marry a spoiled self-promoting golf-cart-driving sponsored grom. Hit Me Up!
The professional side and WSL side of surfing needs Dane. Kelly may be the GOAT but he’s throwing his GOATness and letting the ego inflate. Dane, is more like AI . But the best part is the average surfer, whist lacking in Dane’s surfability, can still feel like Dane is someone who would hangout with them. Kelly will only hang out if Hollywood likes you or you are a standout in a well known and recognized <insert sport=”” or=”” entertainment=”” value=”” here=””> . Heck you could have 2 billion likes in your youtube and insta / snap chat, but the GOAT KS will not notice you. If you had a line in a summer or fall blockbuster, he might. If Dane walked in while you were perusing which craft brew in the list of 100 on the wall at your local craftery , he would return your ‘What’s up man?’ .
https://www.formermerchandi… I am happy . . . Go visit https://www.formermerchandi… and kill some time. YOu’ll be happy too.
Weird, because you can watch Dane surf to Bukowski beginning at about 6:30 here: https://vimeo.com/15007394
That lede quote, Idk, that makes me think maybe I should actually read Bukowski. Which, I have not thought I wanted to do.
I’ll always watch Dane videos. But the baby babble nearly drove me around the bend. I guess I’m kinda cranky because I’m transcribing a stupidly long interview with bad audio quality and I keep typing [unintel] as if that will help. It doesn’t.
I can’t imagine reading Bukowski past the age of 25.
I also can’t imagine making 90s-era ironic sweaters over the age of 25 either.
Yes, this is sorta the impression I have had, like I maybe missed the window. Next time I’m browsing the stacks, I’ll take a look, but I ain’t gona make it urgent.
I really feel like an uneducated commoner when people speak of proper writers, I might pop over to stab and call people fags for a bit.
Travis, it’s a short leap from Bukowski, but I think you should read John Fante instead.
You remind me very much of Arturo Bandini.
Bandini Mountain? That big ol’ pile of manure?
Ian said pools are the future…
20 years ago..
all hail Kanga!
He woulda punched London 20 years ago…
ha – all anybody needs to know about kanga is, him, townend and mark warren were the Bronzed Aussies. The lamest ever attempt at branding in surfing bar none. Closely followed by noted snuffle and bar fiend mr m thomson with “Gotcha”.
I am sure that Mr Horan and Mr Banks were very happy you left them off your list . ( both former BAs). All five were great surfers in their day .
Funny how “BA” also stands for ‘Bullshit Artist’, eh?
Yes both of them saw another light and moved on. Reminds me of an extract from Bug’s book where he finds himself in a tent between MP and PT ,both trying to convince him of which path to follow .
I shall endeavour to read it, thanks.
So Travis… Dane gonna take you to the Moon…
Eeeeech…
Travis, I really hope you get to marry Dane soon.
He can do his thing and earn cash so you can give up writing and that way we all win.
SLAM!
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
“Bukowski was a jerk!” – Nick Cave. Regardless, love ya Trav.
Tellkamp 2.0
Agreed. 559 words but nothing was said.
Really? I skipped to the clip, so thanks for confirming my suspicions.
Where’s the online petition?!?!?!
Are all female book clubs really a thing ?
It’s pretty rough how they exclude gay men, hey!?
We Don’t Like Gay Men Around here
They are the backbone of America…
totally.
I’m told that they’re usually populated with buxom strippers, single mothers of 3, aspirational professionals with C-level titles, former inmates, fitness addicts, people who spend lots of time with their partners, and women who commute two hours to work each day.
“spoiled self-promoting golf-cart-driving sponsor groms” — 2018 in Southern California could not be more perfectly described.
The golf carts have arrived in Hawaii, specifically Kailua.
Sorry, I’m unfamiliar with this particular golf cart phenomenon. Can you describe da kine? Esp in context of Kailua, because I can’t imagine HPD being too lenient on that shit on public roads.
The cops don’t do shit to the golf carters in San Diego’s La Jolla, Coronado, Del Mar, or Encinitas / Solona beach. The Coronado cops basically have no action, so they are strict and looking for work. They ticket you if you are driving 1 MPH over the limit or if your blinker or break lights is too slow / and or lacking, you get a ticket if you take too long to parallel park or if its busy beach day, they give it to you anyways. They even like to work over cyclists / wannabe lance armstronger’s (they tend to run stop signs). But if you drive like the DMV handbook and never cali stop, they won’t notice you.
But the golf cart holding up traffic and almost causing 24 accidents in 5 minutes. Oh and that other cart that did a illegal U turn and almost took out 7 scooters, 2 fruit booters, and 1 skater (boarder).They let ’em pass. NEAW (not even a warning). And how about the 4X carters in a row taking up both lanes and bumping the opposite T-raffic lane as opposed to following in a caravan? Not even a look from our mustached peace keepers.
Strange the carts are all over in Catalina, but cars (and da police) are rare, and the carts drive more DMV friendly.
I’m assuming in the more chill state of HI, the pass the golf carters trespasses is even bigger. When I was over on East side, the golf carts are as plethoratic as in So Cal rich places but I didn’t catch one in any serious road violations like the blatant disregard of rules and civilians, but I was only in Kailua for a few hours to get a bite and passing through.
I’m with you regards the quality of surfing, aggression and makes me want to go surfing too. But I’m only with you if by “shazamable tunes”, you mean ‘I’d rather tap on an impacted wisdom tooth with a hammer’.
Young Marble Giants, my dear Lemon. I’d tap my tooth to that any day.
You should have used one of Bukowski’s more earnest quotes from Women like when he was shoving his fingers up some teenager’s bumhole.
There’s a Uranus joke somewhere here, but I’m not witty enough…
That’s a different kind of ‘moon’ Disqy.
Uranus has many moons and a few rings.
I can’t imagine Dane surfing on the MOON BUT , if you CRACK out of the SPHINCTER like opening of your wetsuit, without a towel,Mr T DisquARSE, and bend over ,we will definitely see urANUS ?