Filipe Toledo has no need for Airshows. The World Tour
is his Airshow.
WSL: “Many say the future of surfing is in
the air!”
By Derek Rielly
WSL resurrects quarter-century old format in name
of progression!
Do you sometimes feel like you live in an alternate
universe? Where history doesn’t exist? All rear-view
mirrors snapped off? Where everything old is new again, like
neoprene shorts, oversized t-shirts with Choose Life
written across the chest and ghetto blasters alive with MC
Hammer?
Earlier today, it was announced that an aerial component would
be added to WSL events in France and Lemoore.
The CEO of the WSL, Sophie Goldschmidt said, “Crowds love
the athleticism and creativity of aerial surfing, and so do the
surfers. Many say the future of surfing is in the air, and WSL is
thrilled to be working with Josh (Kerr) to return a fan and surfer
favorite into the competitive mix.”
The future of surfing is in the air.
Airshows. Remember ’em?
They were started by Surfing magazine at the
behest of Shawn Barron (RIP both of ’em) in 1996,
running alongside ASP tour event The O’Neill Coldwater Classic.
Pretty soon there was a six-event tour. Christian Fletcher,
naturally, won the first one.
Imitators followed.
The NSSA in the US for amateurs; the Surfing Australia
Quiksilver Airshow series (owned by Gold Coaster Dave
Reardon-Smith). In 2002, the Quiksilver Airshow World Championship
was held at Manly and won by the Hawaiian Randy “Goose” Welch.
The vitality of the air events came from their juxtaposition
with a tour that focussed on multiple manoeuvres performed on three
waves to the beach, each surfer building houses with sixes not
eights.
Airs in tour events? Forget about it.
“Slater would launch one now and then, when he was far enough
ahead–which, come to think of it, he was most of the time. But as a
rule, the World Tour was not a welcoming place for above-the-lip
business,” Matt Warshaw wrote in Surfer
magazine.“The
Airshow withered and died a few years later as pros began to
incorporate the Airshow ethic into WCT contests. Filipe Toledo has
no need for Airshows. The World Tour is his Airshow.”
Well, ain’t that still the truth.
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The kids will be thrilled to watch pro surfing instead
of riding roller coasters!
Entertainment: Surf Ranch better* than
theme park!
By Chas Smith
Plan your early fall family vacation now!
Early autumn is a wonderful time to be in
greater southern California. The weather is generally dreamy
ranging from mid 70s at the beach to mid 90s inland. The dining
options are tasty and varied, from vegetable driven cuisine in
Santa Monica to Michelin-starred to minimalist in Pasadena. And the
entertainment options are virtually endless. Shopping, film,
theater and of course theme parks.
The world’s very first was Disneyland in Anaheim, California. It
opened its doors in 1955 and revolutionized how people spend time
and money. Today, greater southern California boasts Magic
Mountain, Knotts Berry Farm, Legoland, Seaworld, Raging Waters,
Universal Studios etc. etc. Each is very popular but, if we stretch
the regional definition of greater southern California to include
the lower San Joaquin Valley, they are joined by a new, better*
option.
Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch!
Ticket prices were recently released for the upcoming World Surf
League Championship Tour event in fall and let’s examine!
$499 nets you one VIP full event ticket that includes:
VIP seating for the duration of the Surf Ranch Pro (Friday,
Saturday and Sunday, September 7-9) with: access to VIP lounge
areas and bathrooms, free open bar (including alcoholic beverages
for those of legal drinking age), free snacks, and access to
premium VIP-only food options for purchase. In addition, you’ll get
access to the Longboard Expression Session and evening concert on
Friday, and the Air Show Expression Session on Saturday. Note:
onsite parking pass not included. Includes parking in the offsite
parking lots with shuttles to the Ranch.
$199 gets you one full day of the above.
$99 is the cost for general admission, per day, no fancy tent or
all-you-can-drink Michelob Ultra and includes parking unless you
prefer to drive through the magical gate and that will cost an
extra $50. In addition, though, “you’ll get access to the evening
concert and Longboard Expression Session” (if you go Friday), the
airshow expression session (Saturday) or simply CT level
professional surfing (Sunday).
The “Surf Ranch Experience” costs $9500 with a nifty $280
fee.
How does this stack up to the region’s other theme parks? Oh, it
is generally much more expensive! Magic Mountain costs $84 at the
gate, Knotts costs $50 if you buy online, Universal Studios costs
$90. Disneyland costs $90 if you purchase mid-week and do you know
what this means? Surf Ranch is better* than all of them!
I always knew professional surfing would be more popular than
the NFL someday.
*better, as used in this post, only means more expensive.
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Man goes to the aid of his kid who is punched
for emulating his hero Jamie O'Brien at Tamarin Bay (pink foamie,
GoPro etc). Is gang-ganged.
Surf Rage (Part Two): Mauritius Locals Beat
Hell out of Dad and Son!
By Craig Jarvis
Tourists surfing Tamarin Bay get gang-banged!
We all know about the White Shorts in
Mauritius, and there is so much terrible examples of their
uncivilised behavior all over the internet.
Kyle Kahn, a Cape Town surfer who is married to the grand
daughter of John Whitmore – the doyen of South African surfing –
saw his 13-year-old son get a smack from the crew and went in to
intervene.
The 13-year-old was emulating one of his heroes in Jamie
O’Brian, by surfing on a pink foamie with a GoPro on his mouth. Not
acceptable. Hit the child, hit one of his friends, then gang up and
wail on the dad.
Is the wave good?
Fuck yes, and it’s a rare kind of beast is Tamarin, but there
are so many other waves around the world that have sorted their
shit out and understand how to deal with crowds through hierarchy
and respect.
Supers in J-Bay has a pecking order and it’s hard enough to get
a wave, but you will not see children getting punched out here.
Keramas is busy with blockings, and with locals getting
barrelled, but there are few legitimate fisticuff incidents, much
like Uluwatu.
In Hawaii, the rules are fierce, and one step out of line and
you’ll have the boys on your back, but in USA and in Australia for
that matter, the threat of litigation is massive and throw a punch
at a kid or to anyone, and get on the wrong side of a zealous legal
team and you’re going to find yourself in a world of
shit.
What is a crazy is that the White Shorts, from all accounts, are
not even pure locals. They are blow-ins who arrived years ago and
took over the Tamarin domain. The true locals barely surf at
Tamarin, and anyone who knows the island and who knows all the
variables knows that there are many other waves around. There are
waves in the north-west, there are a bunch of waves in the south,
and there are a few others on the Le Morne peninsula.
“It gives Mauritius a bad name and it doesn’t help me because I
am from Mauritius. When people find out where I come from, there is
anger pointed at me and it just makes my career path that much more
difficult. These guys do need to know the far-reaching consequences
of what they choose to do. Many people are affected.” Brian Furcey,
a WQS surfer from Mauritius.
Most waves on the peninsula, however, have some sort of White
Short dominance. You’ll get chased out the water at One Eyes on the
odd day, and you’ll even get chased out the water At L’Ambulant if
you happen to be out there when a local posse arrive.
WQS hopeful Brian Furcy is a
Mauritian surfer who has been travelling through South
Africa over the last month or so competing in the WSL Africa
series. This situation is not ideal for the travelling
professional.
“Of course this does much damage to me and makes my job so much
harder,” Furcy told me. “It gives Mauritius a bad name and it
doesn’t help me because I am from Mauritius. When people find out
where I come from, there is anger pointed at me and it just makes
my career path that much more difficult. These guys do need to know
the far-reaching consequences of what they choose to do. Many
people are affected.”
It’s a bummer.
There are enough waves for everyone, but the vibe is horrendous.
On my third to last trip I got heavily vibed at One Eyes by the
other guy in the water. That’s right, there were two of us in a
perfect line-up, and he had to tell me that this “‘isn’t fucking
South Africa.”
We surfed excellent waves together, with him glaring at me and
paddling past me after every wave. He didn’t make many of his waves
because he wasn’t that good a surfer, but wouldn’t if have been
cool if we had chatted about surfing, about our families, about the
absolute non-real idea of surfing a perfect reef-pass on an island
with one friend and no one else? If we had hooted each other into
set waves, warned each other about approaching sets and claimed
each others’ bombs all the way to the channel.
Instead, we didn’t become friends and we surfed in silence, kind
of both enjoying the waves but hating the experience.
The thing is, if you start hitting kids, it’s not about localism
anymore.
It’s criminal behaviour. That shit’s got to be sorted
out.
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"I feel bad. I mean, he's a kid. We're in waist-deep
water and he starts screaming, 'You just broke my jaw! You can't
hit a minor! You're going to jail! I'm going to sue
you!'
Surf rage: NSSA Junior attacks Italian
greyhound-loving accountant at Salt Creek!
By Derek Rielly
"He lost it! He threw eight haymakers! Stabbed
board at me!"
Oh to be a gorgeous Millennial. Acres of
perfect skin. Soft hair. Delicate gestures. A voice like a cooing
Siamese cat.
Of course, anyone born in the last twenty years has also lived
without criticism (medals for everyone! You’re unique!) or
rejection (everybody picked for the team!) thereby making any sort
of conflict a total mind-fuck.
An accountant from Aliso Viejo, Kevin Woolwine, who is
thirty nine years old and who enjoys the company of his Italian
greyhound when not surfing, experienced a mind-fucked kid during
the NSSA’s National Interscholastic Championships at Salt Creek in
June.
A little scene setting.
The surf is two foot. The NSSA contest eats up the point.
There’s a black ball at the north end. The weekend horde is
squeezed into the middle.
“I got two young kids. I only surf on weekends so I need to get
out even if it’s complete dog shit,” says Woolwine. “I need that
two hours of sanity away from screaming kids. I don’t care what it
looks like.”
He got the screaming kid anyway.
I could see this kid on the inside but it was a garbage little
wave, a crap closeout, and I wanted to go home. He absolutely
lost it. He gets in my face and screams, ‘What the fuck are
you doing? Get the fuck out of here?’
“After about an hour-and-a-half of catching nothing I had to get
out of there. So I take off on this fucking two-foot closeout. I
could see this kid on the inside but it was a garbage little wave,
a crap closeout, and I wanted to go home. He absolutely lost
it. He gets in my face and screams, ‘What the fuck are you
doing? Get the fuck out of here?’
“I was leaving but I wasn’t going to let this kid send me in. So
he steps in front of me and at this point we’re pushing forehead to
forehead. Just foreheads. And I’m looking at this kid and I say,
‘There’s no way in hell I can fight you but, dude, you can hit me
if you want. I can handle your punches (Kevin was a collegiate
wrestler). He threw seven or eight wild-ass haymakers. All I had to
do was hold my hands up with my elbows. He clipped me behind the
ear once, but it was no consequence. While he’s punching me a wave
picks up my board and cracks him in the head.
“I feel bad. I mean, he’s a kid. We’re in waist-deep water and
he starts screaming, ‘You just broke my jaw! You can’t hit a minor!
You’re going to jail! I’m going to sue you!’
He threw seven or eight wild-ass haymakers. All I had to do was
hold my hands up with my elbows. He clipped me behind the ear once,
but it was no consequence. While he’s punching me a wave picks up
my board and cracks him in the head.
Let me provide a brief detour from the narrative here. Do we
live in a brave new era of lame surf assaults? And do you remember
the case of Montgomery vs Burdett in Virginia Beach, the
current title holder for World’s Lamest Surf Assault?
“He’s playing the victim and then he throws his board, fins
first, at my head. After he missed with that he tackled me and
tried to hold me underwater. I got out of his grip (wrestler,
y’see) and I wanted to let loose, but, he’s kid, so I let him go.
Another wave came and after we came back up he started jabbing me
with the nose of his board. It was unbelievable.
“And then we get to the beach. And his dad has fire in his eyes.
The lifeguard steps in and says he saw the whole thing. That I
didn’t touch the kid once. Another bystander came in and said I
didn’t hit him. Meanwhile, the dad and the kid were trying to turn
mob on me and I was thinking, what am I going to deal with in the
parking lot? One of the crew from the sponsors who was at least 260
pounds and covered in tatts told me, ‘You better get the fuck out
of here now. The thing is, I understand their position. If I was
over there and someone told me that someone much older had hit my
kid I’d have the same reaction. But it was all based on
bullshit.
“All my friends are making fun of me, having a fight with a
sixteen year old but, dude, the amount of restraint I
practised.”
Woolwine appeals to anyone who was on the beach filming to come
forth with the footage, if only to share the laughs.
“I’m telling you, it’s internet gold,” he says.
As a sweetener, BeachGrit will pay $500 for any
vision.
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Stab and The Inertia plotting the future.
Invasion: Reporting live from Venice!
By Chas Smith
A war for surfing's very soul!
I am currently sitting at a reclaimed wood and
steel counter right in the heart of Venice’s Abbott Kinney drinking
a hot fruit punch and listening to a “digital archaeologist” who
“unearths deep musical emotion from obscure sounds.”
Venice.
Hot fruit punch.
It really feels that blonde roasts have become so ubiquitous in
fancy coffee world that nothing is bitter anymore. Only very very
very sweet with notes of cherry, Sunny Delight and Gatorade. I
mourn bitter’s loss. I love bitter which may explain my general
tone. It is also why I will cheer for France this Sunday in the
World Cup final.
Being in Venice means I am very near to Venice-adjacent and
Venice-adjacent’s own The Inertia and sister publication
Stab. I am also very near to Santa Monica’s World Surf
League international headquarters.
Enemies lurk around every corner. Inside every farm to table
cafe and wine bistro. I already thought I saw Stab’s Sam
McIntosh out on the street but it turned out to be German tourist
wearing some lug soled Maison Margiela sneakers instead. I’m more
worried about stumbling over The Inertia’s Zach Weisberg
since he is three-feet tall and easy to miss. It would be very
embarrassing to accidentally step on him after everything I’ve put
him through here. An unnecessarily personal insult.
Herr Paul Speaker doesn’t seem like the coffee type and I’m not
planning on taking a Segway tour of Muscle Beach so don’t plan on
seeing him. Soph and Backward Fin Beth are mysterious though I
don’t think they day drink and I’m going to start that at the
appropriate 10:30 am.
Enemies everywhere and I wonder, has Venice and Venice-adjacent
ever seen such a concentration of surf media enthusiasts? For
decade Orange County held the surf industrial complex in its iron
grip and, in many ways, surfing writ large came to reflect Orange
County’s values. Conservative, cloistered, without imagination.
What will surfing become here? The Inertia is trying
desperately to morph it into a version of sport sandal bouldering.
Stab is attempting to… to… I’m uncertain, to be honest.
That rudderless ship will eventually wash up somewhere though and
it won’t be pretty. Likely lots of Corona and party pics.
The World Surf League wants it to be broadly digestible.
Understandable, relatable, clean. There is probably much head
scratching in the office as to why all surfers don’t want this.
Each of these futures scare me but I don’t know which scares me
most. The World Surf League’s, probably, though I have no talent
whatsoever in sport sandal bouldering. I would like to hear
presentations from The Inertia, Stab and the
World Surf League. I’d buy lunch and listen attentively. Too bad
each is more spineless than the next.