Announced: Mikey Wright gifted wildcard for Surf Ranch Pro!

Which brand of metal is this?

The rise of Mikey Wright, younger brother of Owen and Tyler is either dull or sort of interesting though I can’t tell which. On one hand, the boy had seemed to position himself on other side of professional surfing’s spectrum where cigarettes n rock n roll rule. Where competition is for geeks. Where Owen and Tyler can keep it cuz rock n roll.

Heroin.

On the other hand, he is currently number 11 in the world, is an almost sure thing to be on tour next year and was just gifted the men’s wildcard for this weekend’s Surf Ranch Pro in Lemoore, California alongside Hirohito Ohara.

Cocaine.

Wright told Australia’s 9 News:

“It’s definitely taking me some time to figure this wave out (Surf Ranch) but I’m getting there and it’s really fun. I’m pretty stoked to get the wildcard.

“I’ve been lucky enough to get a few this year and I’m really looking forward to the event.

“I’m not on tour yet so this year has been a real learning experience for me and I’m just trying to take it all in and hopefully next year I’ll make it.”

Those are all very appropriate things to say. Very WSL approved and maybe I’m the one who is dull for thinking there is still a dichotomy between “free surfers” and “champions.” I don’t know. Is Mikey’s rock n roll act just that? An act? Or did the World Surf League pitch a big enough tent for all to belong that I somehow missed because I was too busy being irrelevant and grumpy?

Is Mikey Wright more Poison?

Poison - Every Rose Has Its Thorn (Official Music Video)

Or Babymetal?

BABYMETAL - KARATE (OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO)

Or Slayer?

Slayer - Raining Blood
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channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago

I never could understand why they thought naming a faux-glam-metal band after the French word for ‘fish’ would be a good idea.

Crackie Onassis
Crackie Onassis
8 years ago

Melbourne Sharpies –https://www.youtube.com/wat…

gringobandito
gringobandito
8 years ago
Crackie Onassis
Crackie Onassis
8 years ago

Rose Tattoo –https://www.youtube.com/wat…

shootsthen
shootsthen
8 years ago

He’s a good surfer but I think the “bad boy” image-hyping is off-base; he seems like a momma’s boy, which is not a bad thing at all. I just wish the WSL would let their athletes talk. It’s like they’re afraid of what they’ll say. So weird.

Walter Pepekay
Walter Pepekay
8 years ago
Reply to  shootsthen

It’s not a “bad boy” image, just a bad haircut image.

m0rt
m0rt
8 years ago

HA! I watched last night and wondered why it hadn’t been mentioned on here. Out of all the “Action” sports stars Kelly is by far the worst actor, bloody cringeworthy! Actually I think he could be the shittest out of all the sports guys they’ve had on the show!

KRIS
KRIS
8 years ago

…. nah chas, neither of the three. Mikey is most definitely a Cosmic Psycho.
Or rather; the inner cynic suggests Quiksilver’s latest Matt Hoy 2.0 autobot

https://youtu.be/Q954LxEzyY8

Lindalovelace
Lindalovelace
8 years ago
Reply to  KRIS

Much prefer we are all going to prismo beach the CPs nailed it with that one

Lindalovelace
Lindalovelace
8 years ago

May very well be a career blunder if he rips it he will be known as pool shredder , if he blows it might become known as the kook that could not even rip the pool , neither not very rock n roll.
Maybe he should listen to more Clash.

astro
astro
8 years ago
Reply to  Lindalovelace

You might be right!
But like it or not there’s only going to be more tubs so they all have to learn how to surf them.
Someone will put together an air comp in Waco shortly and bingo it’ll be happening.
All sponno’s to the pools ! The more the merrier.

Lindalovelace
Lindalovelace
8 years ago
Reply to  astro

I dig your thoughts a real struggle for the crew that have hung thier hats on the pro side of surfing where do they run to now or is it a case of throwing the baby out with the bath water .

astro
astro
8 years ago
Reply to  Lindalovelace

I dunno. But they won’t have a choice – they’ll go where the money is.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
8 years ago

Yes I agree. Manly, powerful, exciting, relentless surfer.

Invasive Species
Invasive Species
8 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

On point with your modcommenting recently. Bravo

Glen Winton’s mullet
Glen Winton’s mullet
8 years ago

Mikey’s contest surfing is like Bon Scott playing the bagpipes….

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
8 years ago

A dead or alive Bon Scott playing the bagpipes?

Glen Winton’s mullet
Glen Winton’s mullet
8 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

A sober bon playing the bagpipes

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
8 years ago

Well I guess he sobered up when he died! so Dead it is!

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
8 years ago

Fuck. Wow.

velobwoy
velobwoy
8 years ago

Metal Spice.

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
8 years ago

Hmm never would have guessed. Oh wait quik is broke and wouldn’t have flown him there, unless he was in the event… and every promo video.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
8 years ago

I am committing to watch tonight. I know that this has been happening but… so disturbed it’s been difficult for me to rally.

m0rt
m0rt
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Please watch all eps in this season, it’s prime for you to rip on. I expect a witty article tomorrow so start typing.

Otto
Otto
8 years ago

It’s Life. Mikey likes it.
https://youtu.be/vYEXzx-TINc

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

I haven’t thought about that ad in 30-odd years! Amazing!

You know what happened to that kid?
He grew up to be a serial-killer.

Otto
Otto
8 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Who did he kill? Snap, Crackle and Pop? Or Count Chocula?

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Tony The Tiger, Trix Rabbit, and thankfully, that little faux-Irish fucker with the green hat.

Mapski
Mapski
8 years ago

Men at Work(just before being sued for stealing the flute refrain in “Kookabura”).

janeausten
janeausten
8 years ago
Reply to  Mapski

https://www.youtube.com/wat…

I’m thinking “Swanee”

Ashton's Yellow Hat
Ashton's Yellow Hat
8 years ago

To be very stereotypical here, I think Hiroto Ohara gets the Baby Metal nod.

toofattosurf
toofattosurf
8 years ago

jap gonna rock a brand new benz at the rancho, bruh…


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