Draconian: The public shaming of Lowers!

Iconic southern California wave did not deserve this.

It is the first day of September in southern California and feels like it. Yesterday’s August sun has been replaced by a cool mist. The children cower in the corner, severely shell-shocked, having just completed their first or second week of school. It feels like fall. Like the Hurley Pro at Lower Trestles.

Oh how my heart would soar these past eight years when the calendar turned for that is when I began to hear the song of those cobbled stones. They would whisper in the most delicate tune, whisper, “Come stand upon us… come and watch the world’s best surfers on one of the world’s best waves… come and rub sunburned shoulders with the people… come offer them sunscreen for their sunburned shoulders… come.”

Of course I would heed their call. Of course I would drive and park and walk and watch from the tent city, that Cair Paravel, and feel in touch with professional surfing once again.

And of course we all know that Lowers is not, in fact, “one of the world’s best waves” but it is an undeniably fun wave to both surf and watch. The announcers, from Pete Mel to Ron Blakey to the ’89 World Champ, couldn’t help but call it a “skate park.” A stupid description but as far as the waves on tour go partially accurate.

Well, Lowers is no longer with us. It has been replaced by Lemoore, all cow stinky and gray, and a fitting burial would have been to hand the wave and waiting period over to the locals. To let them enjoy prime Autumn but no. Lowers has been publicly shamed. Forced to wear a scarlet “L” for longboarding. Forced to host a longboard event.

Now, I have nothing against longboarding whatsoever and spend many afternoons on Cardiff-by-the-Sea’s sand enjoying seeing that dance. The walking to nose and taking off fins forward and arching back. Cardiff’s waves are conducive to the activity as are Malibu’s, Church’s, San-O’s etc. Lowers waves are not conducive and never have had any moment of hot longboarding action save the great Herb Fletcher but for some reason, for some very sad reason, Lowers will be hosting the RELIK World Longboard Tour stop from Sept. 9 – Sept. 19.

The shame of losing high performance professional surfing is one thing. The shame of hosting high performance professional longboarding is quite another. Quite another altogether and Lowers will have to carry that shame for years to come. Years and years and years especially if a high performance longboarder sticks an alley-oop or some sad thing that we must watch on repeat.

Longboarding doesn’t belong at Lowers and if my name was Chris Ward I would paddle out there every single day from Sept. 9 – Sept. 19 and refuse to move.

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Some Guy
Some Guy
8 years ago

Have you heard of the novel “Station Eleven”? My wife was raving about it so I grabbed it when she was done. I don’t have heaps of spare time but I truly could not put this one down. It’s post apocalyptic but not the usual tired zombie trope. Beautifully written…Plausibly scary and elegiac yet also hopeful in the sense that humans (in this case the .01% or so left) always seem to pick up the pieces and rebuild no matter the level of ruin.

Johnny Bee
Johnny Bee
8 years ago

Ok, that… counts.

Johnny Bee
Johnny Bee
8 years ago

Ok Ben, let’s agree on a draw. Good luck in your Don Quichottesque quest.

Johnny Bee
Johnny Bee
8 years ago

Bunch, not bounch.

Johnny Bee
Johnny Bee
8 years ago

I do not seek honours, I prefer to embrace my unsignificance with all my heart. Unlike others, one might add.

Johnny Bee
Johnny Bee
8 years ago

In the medical ward butt, really?

Johnny Bee
Johnny Bee
8 years ago

What are you up to these days Ben? It might be written on your bio, but I’m too lazy to check it out. Seems like you have a lot of time to spare, but.

Jen See
Jen See
8 years ago

Well. That took a turn!

astro
astro
8 years ago

Ah – ok 5. But still a lot of cash.

astro
astro
8 years ago

Damn. Oh well, I’ll have to keep my darling happy and scratch around myself.
It could take awhile, tho

astro
astro
8 years ago

No shit Scott ?
Really that much for an NFL game ?

Walter Pepekay
Walter Pepekay
8 years ago

I’m sorry sir but between you, who I don’t know, despite all the respect I owe you, and the James Bond franchise, I’ll believe the most reliable source of the two. You can’t ruin my dreams as if I was a 18 years old rookie on the tour. With that being said, I’ll grab my plastic made 9′ board and go surf the 1.5 ft on offer today. Have a nice day.

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
8 years ago

he could Donalds work, that would keep him busy. perhaps too busy.

Ricoimmo
Ricoimmo
8 years ago

i love malapropisms. once worked with a guy who used to say things like “i’m going to drink myself into Bolivia tonight”. or…”hey man, the feeling’s neutral.”

astro
astro
8 years ago

No worries. No need to be fascinating.
You’ve two hands and legs.
Like gardening ? Can handle a spade and shovel ?
Don’t let me down here, Ben.
Buddy ?

astro
astro
8 years ago

Come on down !
Mrs astro would love to meet you.

astro
astro
8 years ago

Yea matey, 24 years of it.
She only spins out a couple of times a year.
I’m pretty sure Lairds got a few theories on this.
It’s cool, I’m a survivor. No worries.

astro
astro
8 years ago

It would be the last place she’d ever look for me.
She knows I hate cold.

surfmom
surfmom
8 years ago

Waiting period’s already looking fun with the possibility of some tropical juice.

astro
astro
8 years ago
Reply to  surfmom

Lemoore ?
Sorry, being fucken stupid again.

surfmom
surfmom
8 years ago
Reply to  astro

Nah, just the boring old ocean.

surfmom
surfmom
8 years ago

That yeasty eh?


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