Like a cherry '95 Porsche 928 GTS!
Oh we have all had very much to think about during the last few days what with the heretofore unknown World Surf League’s Masters and Grand Wizard division outpacing the Surf Ranch Pro’s concurrent viewer numbers. A fascinating albeit accidental experiment rolling the old dawgs out for a new swing. Nostalgia aside, did you love their surfing? Did it inspire you, their fresh lines and by fresh I mean shelved for the past 20 years then put back on display?
I’ll tell you, it reminded me of a wonderful conversation I had with the preeminent surf journalist, Nick Carroll, at the Surf Ranch Pro.
There we both watched and independently came to a similar conclusion. That Kelly Slater’s surfing has transitioned from “outdated” to “classic.”
I don’t know that Nick would necessarily use those descriptors but watching Kelly surf at the Surf Ranch Pro, the first time we have seen extended Kelly Slater surfing in the past 2 years, I couldn’t help but appreciate the simplicity, the beauty, the approach.
Until recently I just thought the 11x world champ had gotten old and simply couldn’t keep up with Felipe and the new lot. That his old body couldn’t jump and jive the way these Brazilian kids can/do.
Watching at Surf Ranch, though, I realized that Kelly surfs… differently. He surfs from a different era and I found myself appreciating his twist like I appreciate a cherry ’95 Porsche 928 GTS. Sure it’s not as fast as newer models nor is it quite yet a classic but I’ll be damned if it ain’t crazy beautiful.
I wonder, if Kelly decided to finally retire and instead of becoming the face of 10 more brands went out and made crazy beautiful video clips would we not all stop what we’re doing and stare?
We would. We totally would and not a Kelly Slater trying to match what John John is doing but a Kelly Slater unconstrained. A Kelly Slater surfing exactly like he wanted to surf.
I think we would be treated to the greatest epoch yet and imagine Nick Carroll agrees but what do you think?
I’ll bet you a nice lunch and Wellington’s best beer (I’m partial to a ParrotDog Bitter Bitch) that Kelly isn’t content. If he were, he wouldn’t be so desperate for attention.
No chem trails in Hawaii, dont know much about it. sorry.
I have spent alot of time at sea so Im pretty sure the earth is not flat.
99% of Humanity is hopeless.
Do you think that you did not dumb down Surfer mag?
Go back to Breitbart
Nope, I work for myself and live in Hawaii. Got plenty of time to surf.
Well, then arrange it and ill tell you my name and address, shit talker.
ok ill shut up about king kellys kook basin.
Well, i certainly wouldnt leave the island for something as pathetic as you.
you called me conspracy nut than went on to declare your own jfk jr made up hypothesis. You are funny
If you could get me out at Pipeline with only one other person out than I would tell you my name in a heart beat. But unfortunately the pull you think you have is a sad fantasy. The pool is a joke and I have no interest. How about we meet up and you can show me your greatness?
dus mispellin upset your ocd?
Have you ever slept with him? Or do you only dream of it?
basketball is a real sport. Pro surfing is like pro wrestling
JFK jr. was obviously killed, they guy who scewed us was the one who fucked with his plane.
only a raging kook like you would think having your name on a wave pool was an accomplishment.
Do you even surf?
1. no signs of narcistic sociopathy.
2. no daddy isssues
3. never taken performance enhancing drugs.
4. I still have a soul.
5. I have never sucked corporate cock
6. I know when to walk away.
7. etc.
Thanks for the reply Mr Marcus .
You are taking it too seriously and do you really think we are jealous or would like be him ? (Ok , once when he was playing with my goddaughter in Avalon ( she was 3 at the time and I was stuck in winter in France ).I have the utmost respect for the goat’s surfing but I doubt he really needs you to shield him ? I Would prefer you defend the ideals of Mr Roosevelt during these strange times in your American Empire ?
sheep
It’s true, being anonymous is weak. I admire your transparency Ben.
So maybe Kobe Bryant is a better comparison? His final season was sort of a disaster, a lot of press and adulation while chucking up bad shots all year for old times sake.
How does his butt hole taste?
There is a character in the British Comedy Red Dwarf called Rimmer which gentle Ben brings to mind ?
Is Bainey a Porsche 944? All wheel drive, loud as hell V8, slightly sluggish but with the right corner will lay down and gouge asphalt with gay abandon?
not sure “gay abandon” is term used around bainy very often.
Just taking the road less traveled.