The People get informational kiosks though!
I’ve been so darn fascinated by the Wave Pool Wars that I find it difficult to sleep at night. Awake I lay, eyes following ceiling fan spinning languidly, trying to calculate the costs of waves at Surf Ranch, wondering if the operators shorten the dampening time to 3 minutes instead of 4 how many more waves could get generated. Wondering if American Wave Machines technology feat. at Waco is the perfect nexus of quality and economy. Wondering if Wavegarden’s burgers will carry the day. Wondering if Surf Lakes in Australia, opening very soon, will make the other pools feel redundant or will it itself feel redundant.
And when the sun pokes its head up I am no closer to conclusion than I was at midnight.
Which tank will win out, at the end? How can Surf Ranch with its $5000 per day price tag compete?
Is it the Spruce Goose of pools lorded over by a mad, germaphobe?
How?
How is it economically viable?
Well… this morning my bleary eyes found answers. Maybe Surf Ranches, soon to be dotting the globe, are not for everyone. Maybe Surf Ranches will be very exclusive country clubs for the .5%
And let us read from the Palm Beach Post for Palm Beach is of course the site of Surf Ranch Florida.
The site will be a major training facility for professional surfers, said Joni Brinkman, a principal with Urban Design Kilday Studios. She didn’t know to what extent it would be open to the public, but she did say the site would have informational kiosks for visitors to learn about the surrounding natural areas. They plan to partner with the county’s Environmental Resources Management department in doing so.
And again:
She didn’t know to what extent it would be open to the public, but she did say the site would have informational kiosks for visitors to learn about the surrounding natural areas.
And one more time:
…she did say the site would have informational kiosks for visitors to learn about the surrounding natural areas.
So there you go. Surf Ranches and the WSL don’t want The People muddying the waters, as it were. Surf Ranches are not for me or for you but for millionaires and billionaires. At least they are giving us kiosks to learn about the surrounding natural areas though.
Thank you Kelly Slater. Thank you Dirk Ziff.
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To be fair it would’ve cost a small fortune to run, so any revenue is going to help.
Actually, it was far better than the surf ranch comp!
basically, move to indo and find your mysto. or…pay up and get fake waves
Chas- if the Surf Ranch only cost $5000 per day a group of us unwashed types could swing that easily. I think you left out a zero.
And what is with the latest fad/gimmick in your writing abbreviating the word featuring? That shit distracts me from your otherwise good writing.
It’s actually $50,000 per day at surf ranch. I think that Chas has been hitting the vodka tonics a bit early today…..
Only the poors surf salt water, I prefer to surf liquid gold
Hot stuff!!
The rich people can have the pool. Maybe we can steal the kiosk and go surf it? Idk. Just thinking.
I imagine this “Mad Max” world where surfers traipse the planet trying to surf these elitist pools and live in the conclaves that they provide!!! We all kill each other in our tribes to do so – waco vs ranch vs wavegarden vs surflakes.
Maybe the conspiracy is all these pool companies are actually killing the Oceans – for every bottle and plastic they take out Ziff adds 5 more in India ??
In one of the first surf magazines I bought, a Wavelength magazine from the mid 1990s there was a story about a crazy dictator in the Middle East who had developed a toxic algae that chocked up the worlds oceans, all that was left for surfers was a biosphere wavepool that could produce any iconic wave you wanted, of course it all ended in tears, but it had more impact on my teenage self than the Jane Austin shit we were supposed to be reading… and now here I am – not writing for the Irish Times, instead getting my kicks writing on the BG comment section, thank God!
They and their millions can have the pond. Laughable that they would even pay for the machine!
No one ever said it took brain to aquire money.
In years to come there will be old wavepools generating neat little waves, watched over by bored lifeguards while a couple of little kids on their Christmas gift -state of the art- foam boards practice their moves and old professional wave pool surfers will wax lyrical about the days when being a wave pool surfer actually meant something!
Informational kiosks about the surrounding natural areas.. If that ain’t wholesome family fun idk what is?
The negotiations between the county and KSWC could have gone better for the county. The kiosk seems so trivial that it has the appearance of Kelly IG performance art in 3D. Wholesome family fun or Kelly’s way of telling Damien Hobgood that his crusade for the fatherless children shall find no quarter in the kingdom of the less father. A kiosk to bring to life a thousand way to say no to the 100-Wave Challenge. KS must feel the good of Hobgood is some sort of personal affront to his hobbled foot.
The child fathers the man
I’m taking up bird spotting instead of swell chasing ala The Big Year. I liken myself to Kenny (Owen Wilson) but in reality I’m probably closer to Stu (Steve Martin) in appearance. Except less hair and less money.
Oh and i can’t afford to travel.
it seems Slater has created a world of the haves and the haves nots, Slater and his A-List buddies got it and you don’t. Will surfing ever be the same, will more and more people quit as surfing seems to become uncool, as the Rich and Famous are taking it up like Polo and tennis. Will they finally realize that Slater, the WSL, and pro surfers, are not their friends, and that they are all just in it for themselves.
Well said… truth is hard to face.
If your on the WSL tour your a tool to be used!
Just remember carbon fibre is the new kook stamp. Slater Designs, JS, FireWire, DHD are now all the brand of the cashed up kook.
If you see any carbon fibre on a board in the ocean lineup near you, it’s your job to drop in on them and never let them have a good wave.
All Hand shapers please refuse to apply carbon or fake carbon to your crafts so that we, the people, can recognise your true craft from the mass produced shit and the kooks that buy them.
*Edit: and …Lost/mayhem. Carbon kook stamp City those guys
Yeah I have a couple of those. Feel free to try to discipline me.
Just follow the surf industry money wherever it leads, lord knows you’ve suckled from its teet this long
Well you know the offer stands.
‘Teat’, darling.
You need a banner to identify kooks? Maybe you’re one them? This is a fucking idiotic comment with no rationale or applicable logic. Just because you graduated from your hypto crypto last week does not give you validation among the elite.
Try harder, or call Dennis Jarvis for your meaningless dialogue. His logic is as good as yours.
Bla bla wah wah waa bla wah wah cry baby got buyers remorse your $1000 5’3 carbon helium sci fi isn’t lifting your fat assed performance as good as the shop assistant promised you?
Ben?!?
That’s a bit low CB?
Actually it works superior! Are you merely trying to make a point about reducing a carbon footprint? Do you have a friend of a friend that makes surfboards in his garage, and drinks whisky while reflecting on “the plight of the lost art of shaping” while stroking your oiled beards and Patagonia flannels?
Anytime you wanna take a lap on my blade, just call on the captain. Obviously you don’t understand the application of different carbon placements to change the flex patterns of a board and make it more responsive. So you can take your resin tint keel fin and shove it up your Need Essentials
That was an amazing comeback Captain, well played. My flannels are the Woolies kind ($6.95 on special) and keels don’t work too well on these south coast reefs
Kelly’s being used… they will give him crumbs but the majority of the butter will be made by his handlers… Kelly could hardly run a lemonade stand.
You could not have dreamed this shit up could ya.
Not under the languid ceiling fans; not dozing on a pallet on an Indonesian ferry; not drunk and half asleep at 3am in the back of a car howling through the canefields above Waialua after a night at Femme Nu, could you ever have dreamed of this shit.
Femme Ni and Club Rockza…fixed for ya Nick.
But could one have dreamt it after a little doze in the back of a dark wood-panelled board room, after a few brandies with associates and kept politicians?
brandeys. please…
Or you could use Cognac , Armagnac or Calvados ? Just to be precise ?
Well this is a big win for us surrounding areas hobbyists!
That’s some real glass half full shit right there my friend!
Personally, I’d rather read an in-depth, well written interpretation kiosk panel about the local ecology and history of the area, than worry about surfing the Nocean.
Here is my in-depth, well written interpretation kiosk panel about the local ecology and history of “the surrounding area” Of Lemoore Ca.
“Shit, Bushes, Cows and more Shit, A love Story”
The End.
Needs some lovingly hand drawn illustrations of the wildlife and former native inhabitants.
Please explain your comma between mad and germaphobe
velobwoy I don’t want to alarm you but I think you may have been infected by the Ben Marcus virus, which causes death by boredom and apostrophes. We’re going to have to quarantine this part of the comments, as well as confiscate your phone and any internet-enabled devises.
Nurse Negatron will be along shortly to give you a little prick and some colorful pills.
Neg, you gonna let that slide re: your prick?
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Wasn’t actually coming from from a Ben Marcus kinda place – more like wondering what sort of social media-driven avant-garde grammatical expression I was not getting. You kidz, ya know…
This is a great relief to everyone. Thought we had an outbreak on our hands.
PS: I think it was just a typo, but I’m no social media-driven avant-garde grammarian.
There is no explaining the grammar here, really. It just is.
Jen see and beachd git… Benjamin Marcus is gunning for you two….”there are child viewing this blog, you can’t possibly think that they can think for themselves”. We the editors must guide them like babies to slouder.
Long live Benji our guider
Does the ’slouder’ go up to 11?
At least , that other East Coast Legend , Gatsby took the honorable path and chose not to turn up to his own ( pool ) parties ?
A kiosk is the bratty little brother of a billboard.
We should totally get one!
Yes!!!! And hire an Ambassador of Stroke and Leisure World. And a plane. A plane with a banner! Oh how my head is spinning like Jubilee after that first musical note played! A banner about what?!? What could we ban back and forth in the sky above Surf Ranch? Ban exploitation of natural birthed waves?!
Upvote for exceptional use of exclamations coupled with question marks – did you learn that from someone !!!?!
A gentleman (or well brought-up lady) only uses exclamation marks singularly, or in a group of three, but preferably not at all, as their elucidation and elocution should carry the force of their argument rather than crude punctuational fireworks.
Ahh – so I assume Otto learnt from here then. A veritable bastion of crude punctuality and fatuous remarks !!?!!!
I’m lucky if I didn’t change tense mid sentences.
I get tense during sentences too.
Thats in tense.
‘Specially if you drop the soap in the shower.
Yes. The Sean Volland School
of Exclaim It Don’t Claim It!!!!!!!!!
What’s next, stubby holders!?!?
Nah, too niche. They only have them in Oz.
* CAUTION RANT AHEAD –
I remember crossing the Nullabor as a child back in the day (1974). Constantly passing beers to my dad from the esky (cooler) into his stubble holder the entire 5 day drive (drunk driving wasn’t illegal then and kind of expected). Old man seemed to have eternal patience with us four brats in the back! Had to carry water/petrol through the bight (hundreds of miles between petrol stations) Mum took a shift driving one night and hit a big roo. Wrote off the VW station wagon! and he hopped happily away like it was nothing! Good fucking times. Good fucking times.
GO WEST ! Or were ye all going east to the big smoke ? Ps I don’t imagine you were screaming at your mum for the IPad or telling the old man to turn up the Wiggles ?
And fuck this tennis