Lies of omission are still lies!
Son of a bitch and I’m just gonna come in hot
here because I’m boozed and because Stab‘s repackaging of
BSR Cablepark’s press release was not only a crime against
literature it was a crime against truth. A crime against fun. A
crime against anything good or decent.
A crime against surfing and son of a motherfucking bitch.
Did you read? Are you caught up?
Let me fill you in. A young man from New Jersey tragically died
from brain-eating amoeba after surfing the BSR Cablepark’s fabulous
new wave that seemed both more enjoyable and more democratic than
Kelly Slater’s. The Centers for Disease control and Health
Department tested the facility and while not finding
any Naegleria fowleri, the hideously responsible
villain, concluded that, “epidemiologic and environmental
assessment indicate that exposure likely occurred at this (Waco)
facility.”
Stab, ignoring the gist of the report entirely,
released a statement aping BSR Cablepark’s own
reading:
Today, after CDC tests and scares that hit too close to home
for anyone who has visited BSR Cablepark in Waco, the wavepool,
Royal Flush Water Slide and Lazy River have been cleared of the
brain eating amoeba that took the life of New Jersey’s Fab Stabile
at the end of September.
The news of Fab’s death fell on the back of Stab High and
raised anxiety into the highest tier. After plenty of research, it
became apparent that the amoeba, Naegleria fowleri, is incredibly
rare…and incredibly deadly. According to the CDC, out of 143 known
cases in the United States, only four infected individuals have
survived.
Every year, come winter, BSR shuts down then reopens in
spring, on March 1st. On September 30th, following the tragic death
and pending investigation, the park closed its doors a month
earlier than it did in 2017, October 31st.
Etc.
It was an embarrassing lie, plain and simple. A lie of omission
and exactly in line with our brave post-truth era. Oh some will
read that as a repudiation of Donald J. Trump but he is just
dancing in the ballroom frequented by Nazi Germany’s leadership
before him. The left is dancing in the same ballroom popularized by
Stalin’s Soviet Union before them.
Post-truth ain’t nothing new. It is the language of the fearful.
The language of bastards too scared of honesty to be able to read,
react and play.
And fuck it all. Fuck them all.
I get why BSR Cablepark denied denied denied. They’ve certainly
got some serious lawsuits on the horizon but for Stab to
jump in and release straight propaganda as legitimate is… is… well,
it is fucking infuriating.
All of this stupid surf lie bullshit reminds me most of the Andy
Irons’ autopsy release.
Do you remember? It was delayed for many months before being
loosed with a note from the family reading, in part:
The autopsy concludes that Andy died a natural death from a
sudden cardiac arrest due to a severe blockage of a main artery of
the heart. Dr. Vincent Di Maio, a prominent forensic pathologist in
San Antonio, TX, who has consulted on many high-profile cases, was
asked to review and explain the autopsy results to the
family.
He states: “This is a very straightforward case. Mr. Irons
died of a heart attack due to focal severe coronary
atherosclerosis, i.e., ‘hardening of the arteries.’ He had an
atherosclerotic plaque producing 70%-80% narrowing of his anterior
descending coronary artery. This is very severe narrowing. A plaque
of this severity, located in the anterior descending coronary
artery, is commonly associated with sudden death.”
The surf media pounced on the “Oh! He died of a heart attack!”
angle. Another lie of omission but not quite as infuriating. That
could have been viewed from the “covering heartbroken loved ones”
point of view. Not the clear and utter bullshit of corporate
protectionism or even worse Stab’s crowing about
the airing of its Stab High on
television tomorrow, though I do suppose it makes sense coming from
a chubby, bejeweled boy
hungry to call the police for something he couldn’t
handle himself.
And here is something I struggle with as a “surf journalist.” Is
it even vaguely important to get to the bottom of a story or are
our rose colored lenses part of our charm? Is that what people
always want?
Fuck it all if it is what people want. Our truth is far rosier
and don’t need obfuscating lies as cover. Yes our heroes are
cocaine addled. Yes our pools are deadly.
Wanna paddle?