Don't run, don't hide, fight back!
It’s almost summer in the southern hemisphere. And in Australia, that means shark season. Hello you fragile, dreamlike creatures.
The count so far. Three attacks in the same harbour in the Whitsundays, one fatal, and, yesterday, a bodyboarder was hit with “traumatic leg injuries” while surfing at Mandurah, one-and-a-half hours south of Perth.
‘Super sharky vibes’ before attack, says WA surfer Noah Symmans. The West Australian surfer who was attacked by a shark yesterday morning said he “stomped” the animal until it let go of his leg.
Noah, 20, was surfing with a friend at Pyramids Beach, south of Perth, when he felt a shark biting his calf at around 8.40am.
“I was surfing with another mate at a known break in Mandurah and it was fairly eerie vibes, a couple salmon were about and it was overcast,” he said.
“We were mid conversation waiting in the line-up when I felt something grab my left leg and try and pull me under, so with my other leg I stomped the shark until it released me and we gunned it for the rocks.”
Mr Symmans was flown via helicopter to hospital after being treated at the scene by lifeguards and paramedics.
It’s third attack at the same beach since 2014 .
And, two years ago, the surfer Ben Gerring was killed by a shark two clicks away.
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We ended up at another spot with plenty of grommets flapping about. Figured the sharks would see the flapping about as wounded turtles rather than point themselves at our whale carcass-like paddling.
Asked my mate where we were going to surf in the morning. He said
“South Wall, Ballina”.
“So the sharkiest place for 1000s of km either way is North Wall, and you want to go 200m away?”
“Yeah”.
“So, is there like a shark traffic cop underwater telling them they can only go to North Wall?”
Guy gets bit a coupla days later next beach up from North Wall…
That sounds like my experience in SoCal. What about the crew with wife beaters and chain wallets regulating the parking lot and bars nearby?
‘Versing ‘meaning competing against bugs the shit out of me. Also her or him, when it should be he or she. Or how about, “he surfs ‘good'” when I should be ‘well.’ But that’s not restricted to the internet.
Nah, adjacent to Ballina, on the East Coast. Love taps don’t tend to make the news unless there is a limb removed.
Me to
oh yes , I have grown up with Great Whites ( Donald didn’t make it , sad!) , don’t know how many times felt weird in the water then seen a biggie , or came in after weirdness water vibes and lo and behold the man in the grey Flannel suit had been seen or we were looking at it….no science but fuck a lot of stories….
I surfed down Longtom’s way a while back, on a cloudy morn. Scared me shitless. And that was at the next peak up from a contest that had two jetskis zipping about to buzz the sharks off.
Mainly ex footy players
Its honest work for them
A keen eye can tell the difference between an ‘up-the-nose’ glass head and a smoked out tweaker.. once you start spinning the pipe all side effects get kicked into overdrive. You can literally levitate if you smoke enough speed.
Even harder minus a weeks worth of sleep
Dunno Sargent Scott, I’m a law abiding citizen mate
Purity needs to be stepped on for sure if that much gets pushed thru
The annual analysis on residule narcotics in Perths sewage water is a fkn eye opener.. basically every man woman and child is on the glass bbq
That was well played. My dangers are very similar, however more North County-specific.
#13 made my day!!!!
It’s really time that we took a tip from our indigenous brothers the world over regarding sharks and climate rage
They were united in their love of sacrificing infants and virgin’s to appease the gods
Goddamit let’s get back to it
This could solve our problems overnite
I dunno if long Tom or jen see would qualify and we can’t have chas and Derek the cult leaders do it
Those damn western colonists shutting this time honoured practice have a lot to answer for.
Sacrificing virgin’s what?
I’m bored so I’m gonna pick on you about your greengrocer’s apostrophe.
I’ve just had to read a document full of them and now I can LET LOOSE.
Sorry but paragraphs is about all you gonna get from me
my left ear hole is still a virgin and I am willing to sacrifice Donald!
The illegal ones are better
Ben reckons
It really makes you play good footy
And helps your surfing
Fucking good shit
Gets a bad rap
Haha yeah it certainly slowed down a big crew of Maori scaffolders that were mobbing the usually quite local back beaches..cunts were ruining it for 5 weeks straight before the sweet puff finally destroyed any semblance of surf froth.
Ya gotta be sensible about it
Most cunts arent
Sharks only feed in glassy overcast conditions, everybody knows this.
Can’t believe you missed the one in Ballina last week .
Been getting a pings on the shark app? Did they stop the drum lines?
no, drum lines are still there.
from the day after the attack.
DPI advise 2.88m White Shark tagged and released from SMART drumline at SHELLY BEACH BALLINA, East Ballina at 07:39 am on 8 Nov 2018.
Can’t believe they let that go
Oh I cherry pick my shark attack stories. The “stomped” shark angle got me on this. How is the shark vibe in Ballina these days?