From the being-jaded-is-so-last-year Dept: New group of surfers “pumped to the point of ecstasy!”

Come meet Whitewash Warrior, Barrel Queen, Biggest Stoke and Biggest Kahunas!

How easy it is to be all jaded, waking up in the morning with the cup half full, sarcastically sniping this and that. It is the easiest thing of all and sometimes I forget the youthful passions of surf. The way a set on the horizon jolts the heart, the way a fresh bar of wax can transport a crusty soul into the ether.

Could we all make our New Year’s Resolution early? And have the resolution be that we’ll approach surfing in 2019 like new mothers in Perth, Australia? Let’s read about them!

“It’s euphoric. I feel totally relaxed and at complete peace with the world. I feel empowered,” says Claire Romea-Gorton, 10 years after she took an iconic Aussie male activity and shook it out like a sandy beach towel.

Today, 84 like-minded mums (and the odd welcome dad) are giving it a vigorous shake as they gather regularly on the Perth coast to surf and follow the ancient concept of using the whole village to raise their children. The feisty women, with salt water in their veins, sea breezes in their hair and passion in their hearts, are a proud tribe, one which offers strength and comfort as they bond together in a unity that is highly infectious, as well as palpable.

Stumble across the group of women frolicking with toddlers in the sand at Trigg, and at first glance they appear to be waiting patiently, Puberty Blues-style, for their surfer dudes, 100m offshore, shredding the early- morning waves.

However, when the exhilarated “dudes” come ashore, tossing their long wet hair, smiling from ear to ear and greeting their kids, they turn out to be bikini-wearing wahines nicknamed Whitewash Warrior, Barrel Queen, Biggest Stoke and Biggest Kahunas.

Some are in the advanced stages of pregnancy and some are still breastfeeding. All are pumped to the point of ecstasy and appear to be talking in tongues. “I’m stoked.” “Your drop was epic.” “You looked awesome out there.” “That was one sick wave.”

Their tribe is called Surfing Mums, the peak body for surfing families across Australia.

You must finish the rest of this story here but before I forget, I had a dream that Derek, Steve Shearer and I were fishing off the back of a boat last night. Nick Carroll may have been there too. It was all standard fare, surf chat stuff. Steve was impressed that I could cast and I even hooked something. The boat swung wide, my fish swam straight still on the line. It must have been a place like Thailand where there are floating docks everywhere because Steve and I got off the boat and followed the line through the water, me still holding the pole, and discovered that it went into a little shack. “Oh no…” Steve told me. It looks like the Bra Boys got your fish. That’s their cooking shack. I wanted to see what kind of fish it was so knocked politely on the door. It was answered, moments later, by a tattooed toothless man with a shaved head. I said, “I know you have my fish and that’s ok. Finders keepers etc. but could I just see it?” He nodded and walked me into the cramped space overflowing with pots and pans. I saw my fish there and it was hideous, like one of those monsters from the deep. I thanked him and left.

What does this dream mean?

And what is your new surf nickname going to be? I choose Ouch My Shoulder.

Watch: A full Jamie O’Brien surfing Pipeline section because the North Shore gonna light up soon!

Get amped!

I am a horrible film maker. Nothing I do is right or works or is good or decent. Still, I dream and continue to make movies because I have spent a lifetime dreaming in movies. From Tarantino to Coppola to Raimi to Soderbergh to Kubrick to Bart Layton. Have you seen American Animals? Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.

Anyhow, just two days ago the film Trouble about the iconic Lisa Andersen won the viewers’ choice award at the Florida Surf Film Festival. An honor that warms my heart because I have spent over two years agonizing over it, because the Florida Surf Film Festival is the best of its sort on earth and because it came from the viewers. BeachGrit has taught me, and taught me well, that the only people of any value are the people.

Fuck the damned know-it-alls.

Anyhow, I made another movie a lifetime ago called Who is JOB. I could write a novel about the process, about the genius editor Dayten Likness, about the unbridled ability of Jamie O’Brien but I’ll save that for another time. Swell is headed toward Oahu’s North Shore right now and someone posted in the comments the Pipeline section from Who is JOB a few days ago.

Taking a walk down memory lane, I decided right away that I only wanted Pipeline footage in that forever long bit. No Backdoor. No Off the Wall. No nothing but Pipeline. I don’t know that anyone had ever done that or that anyone has ever done that. Probably for good reason but here it is again because swell is headed toward Oahu’s North Shore.

Bon appetit!

Just Desserts: Man who gets called “Surf Snitch” by locals launches brand called “Surf Snitch!”

Set to be bigger than Quiksilver and Billabong!

I vaguely recall reading this story on BeachGrit or maybe on another surf-themed gossip website but either way, here are the details. A man took pictures of a secret surf break near Plymouth (I assume America and not England though may well be wrong) and when he was finished and went back to his van the words “Surf Snitch” had been spray-painted in red on his hood (bonnet).

Now, this all seems like a paltry bit of localism without heft so maybe I read this story on The Inertia or maybe I didn’t read it at all. Boring right?

Boring until the victim, Ben Landricombe launched a fabulous new surf/skate brand called Surf Snitch and let’s learn all about it.

Ben Landricombe has launched his own clothing and sticker label – appropriately called Surf Snitch – as a way of sticking it to those who sought to sting him for uncovering ‘their’ Plymouth Sound paradise.

The Plymstock amateur photographer took stunning snaps earlier this year of rare waves breaking against a backdrop of ferries, submarines and warships.

But his images went down like a lead balloon with a section of the surfing community who were dismayed he had lifted the lid on their ‘secret waves’.

It all got nasty when Ben, 36, returned to his van one night only to find vandals had scrawled it in offensive words, slashed his tyres and filled the exhaust with rubble. He also said he received a number of other threats which sought to undermine him.

But now he’s bounced back with his ‘Surf Snitch’ fashion brand.

With the help of his wife Maria, he hopes the collection of T-shirts, car and skateboard stickers will take off and potentially become as big as Quicksilver and Billabong.

Speaking to Plymouth Live, Ben said: “It’s a little act of revenge – because they did do a lot of damage to my vehicle.

But Ben says it’s also his way of positively moving on from a weird time in his life.

“This is a way of showing how everybody can share the waves – there’s a big row between body-boarders and surfers.”

“I surfed their all the time and it was quiet. Hardly anyone used it. I don’t know why it got so out of hand.”

The Surf Snitch website will be launched in the coming days and in the meantime Ben’s started flogging his clobber on Facebook.

Tyres? A big row? Flogging his clobber?

It’s totally England, isn’t it. But I’m glad anyhow Ben wants to be as big as Quiksilver and Billabong. He can join BeachGrit which is also bigger than Quiksilver and Billabong because we haven’t declared bankruptcy yet. Also, I like how much it sounds like Stab magazine’s “Surf Stitch.”

Jump in, Ben, the water’s wonderful!


Introducing: The world’s first surf perfume evoking “the irrational immensity of the seas!”

"Two worlds that converge with the salty aromas trapped by the icy waters of the Atlantic Ocean and the terrestrial breeze that caresses its vegetation!"

There are many things made for surfers. Surfboards, wetsuits, wax, traction pads, surfboard travel bags, etc. There are many more things not made for surfers, though, or at least not explicitly. Paper towels, frying pans, Persian rugs, wooden fruit bowls, etc. Well, today is a fine day because perfume can be crossed off the second list and added to the first.

That’s right, your Christmas shopping just got a whole lot easier because two enterprising Spanish gentleman have just created the world’s first unisex perfume specifically inspired by surfing/surfers and let’s learn about it.

Idil Bazán and Marc Conca, founders of Barcelona’s Surfcity Festival, decided to materialize their passion for the sea in a new fragrance aimed at conveying the sensations experienced when riding the waves.

23NAO (North Atlantic Ocean) is the first product released under the Agua de Surf umbrella. The duo spent three years developing the brand and the debut fragrance.

23NAO is the first of a unique collection inspired by the most representative oceanic regions of the surfing world.

“It is a unisex perfume that evokes the irrational immensity of the seas reaching out to the coasts incessantly. Two worlds that converge with the salty aromas trapped by the icy waters of the Atlantic Ocean and the terrestrial breeze that caresses its vegetation,” underline Bazán and Conca.

“23NAO is an ode to the sea, a perfume born out of experiences lived around the world in search of waves.”

Boom. Stocking Stuffer City but how does it smell?

The new surf-inspired perfume was created using natural molecular ingredients from the North Atlantic Ocean, and curated by the prestigious perfumer Ramón Monegal including the olfactory notes of:

Oceanic gray amber
Sea breeze
Black pepper
Oud wood
Amber wood
Cypriol with salvia sclarea

Oh. I like but I was thinking it should have olfactory notes of:

Rotting neoprene
Sewage run-off
Old wax
Nuclear isotopes
Rusty fin keys
Sour deodorant
Nick Carroll

What’s missing?

Now that we’re here, Josh Kerr, Bede, Parko and Mick Fanning really should have launched a perfume instead of a beer. Don’t you agree?

Australia's most famous beach closed, bodyboarders immobilised, kayaks sunk! Shark season arrives with terrific fanfare in Australia.

From the horrors-looming-in-the-deep department: “Fifteen foot shark” closes Bondi; Canoeist hit by Tiger shark in Queensland!

So many possibilities!

As mentioned three days ago, shark season has arrived in Australia with as much fanfare as the aromatic jasmine flower blossoming all over the country.

In a month or so, there have been six attacks: a bodyboarder in Western Australia (“traumatic leg injuries”), three swimmers in the same North Queensland harbour, one of which was fatal, and a surfer at Ballina with leg injuries caused by a juvenile white pointer (those kids).

At Bondi and nearby beaches, shark sightings have become commonplace.

Yesterday, the lineup was emptied at Tamarama when a shark surfaced so close to a surfer he gave it a little stroke as he jack-rabbited to shore.

And, today, the Bondi surfer and former semi-pro, Beau Walker, had beached his final wave when he saw a “fifteen-foot” shark shadowing another local surfer, Mick Malouf.

“He came running down to the water yelling, ‘Get out of the water!’ I asked him how close it was and he said it was two metres behind me,” says Malouf, who saw a wall of salmon in the wave in front “belly flopping” out of the water. “He’s seen a few sharks in his time (Beau grew up in Byron Bay) so he knows what he’s talking about.”

In response to that, and an earlier sighting at North Bondi, lifeguards closed the beach.

Meanwhile, a click or so off Moffatt Beach on Queensland’s Sunshine Coast, a fifteen-foot Tiger belted a man in his kayak.

Kyle Roberts was knocked off his kayak by the shark who then circled him and his sinking craft while he radioed for help.

From ABC News.

Surf Life Saving Queensland (SLSQ) duty officer David McLean said Mr Roberts was in shock when lifeguards reached him on jet skis.

“There was no blood in the water — nothing else to attract any sharks — just came out of the blue, completely broadsided him, and as he stated, he’s very lucky to be here,” Mr McLean said.

“It had punctured the kayak — he managed to get back to the kayak and hung on and fortunately there was an air bubble at the front of the kayak which managed to keep it afloat until we could get to him. 

Mr McLean said while Mr Roberts was waiting for help “he was starting to panic, especially when the shark was starting to circle him”.

“He would have been through a fair state of panic and that was evident in his voice when he was talking on the radio,” he said.

“He was paddling along in his kayak, the shark’s just hit him, knocked him up in the air, out of the kayak, and he ended up 1.5 metres from his kayak.”

Can you imagine?