Are you Jew? Do you want to compete for medals and prizes? Apply here.
Has it already been four years since I claimed, here, that Israel was the “raddest surf trip on earth?”
Five, since a barrage of phone calls led Dion Agius, Craig Anderson, Josh Kerr and Creed McTaggart (“I love the Jewish steeze”) to an Israeli surf trip filled with the happiest chaos of endless drop-ins and beachbreaks resembling Duranbah?
Two years since Ozzie Wright and Otis Carey made startlingly successful cameos at the country’s first WQS event. Oz celebrated with a song called King of the Jews, which he performed on his ukulele and I recorded. (Listen here.)
Yesterday, I received an email from my very good Israeli friend, Yossi Zamir, who wrote: “I just got surfing into the next Jewish Olympic games (third biggest event in the world). They can pay to get some famous Jewish surfers to the event, all inclusive. Maybe we can put the word out to Jewish surfers around the globe?”
The Jewish Olympics he refers to are the Maccabiah Games which, like the Olympics, run every four years and have done so since 1932. To enter you either gotta be Jewish or an Israeli.
Are you one or both?
Do you shred?
Do you, therefore, want a free trip to the happiest kingdom on earth? Where the desert blooms and there lives a hard-charging deaf big-wave surfer? Where pretty army gals with freckled faces wear fitted khaki uniforms and machine guns on their backs and where smoking in restaurants is still a thing?
Or do you subscribe more to the views of the six-year-old Palestinian girl who, on national television in 2013, recited a poem that went a little like this:
| “Oh, you who murdered Allah’s pious prophets Oh, you who were brought up on spilling bloodYou have been condemned to humiliation and hardship.
Oh Sons of Zion, oh most evil among creations Oh barbaric monkeys, wretched pigs…” |
Triggered!
Anyway, if you want in for the 2021 shred-fest, leave a comment below and we’ll put you in touch with the Maccabiah Games people.
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Israeli old-school (73 yrs young 2day!) – woz stand-up (“normal”) years & years & years. Xtreme (very old) barrel/close-out boogie-boarder 10 yrs now (aka. decade). Ready to thrash the arse-off any 70+ Jewish/Israel sponger. Available up to triple overhead reefless competition.
Made my cameo on the reef’s of Haifa way back in the fall of 88′ thru the winter of 89′ well before became the glamorous hot spot.. Spent a night camping on a crusader castle so close to Lebanon border you could see patrol headlights off in the distance. Their was a jewish pro surfer by the name of Jeff hunter whom would of done good in those games. Unfortunate for all of us he passed early well before his mid-twenties.
If this is an actual event…I’m in. I’m not Israeli but I am a Jew.
How to you get info? I’m a Jewish surfer.
Can we get surfing into the next Battle of the Network Stars? Thanks.
Chris Warshaw, my brother, played volleyball in the ’81 Maccabiah Games. Big good-looking blond dude. Outside hitter, pounded the shit out of the ball—still does. If they have an over-60s division in ’21, volleyball and surf, Chris and I will be on the podium so often they’ll charge us rent.
You’re a Jew? I had no idea. I love you even more!
famous Jewish surfers – Lopez, Tudor, Thomson Bros, all mag editors, Naude, Greg Noll add more….
Gregg Noll? Are you sure? Didn’t he go around dressed as a storm trooper with Swastikas on his boards? I know it was to be provocative, but still…
Miki Dora did. Noll, I think, had trouble finding anything to contain his wonderful girth.
Kelly’s complete advisory group and partners, the whole ownership team at WSL
Do you have to pass a Nazi like DNA test?
Cheeky fucken 6 year old.!
I hope they haven’t already strapped a bomb on her.
Summer camp! https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
They gotta in still the cultural traditions early.
I can hear Nick Dee’s itchy fingers twisting and knotting, trying not to let loose a torrent.
“To enter you either gotta be Jewish or an Israeli.”
Palestinians need not apply.
If citizens of Israel, yes!
God willing or willingly?
You sure about that?
https://www.aljazeera.com/n…
It didnt go down that way in 2016
Yep. The Egyptians didn’t let ol Issam Qishta out either.
Beach Grit could perhaps partner ( along with the Fanning Smith Institute for International Relations ) a section for people ,who have been called Jews in Hawaii but are not ,named “ The Peace Agreement Open “ ? Both Kosher and Al Halal Falafels will be served by Derek and representatives of the Bondi Jewry and Hawaiian Jewry ? Shalom and Salaam brothers and sisters .
I think I could pass as Jewish and I rip, sometimes, in my mind. A free trip to the holy-been-fucked-since-ever land? I’d love to go there but it’s funny that the center of western religion has always been a hotbed of killing. Humans are stupid.
Fighting over inter subjective myths is eternal as one can never truly achieve victory ? The old city of Jerusalem is like a World Religion Theme Park where the Saint Sephulcre is a 5 minute walk from the Dome of the Rock which looks over the Western Wall, representing 3 major world religions in a site not much bigger than an oversized Sports Stadium , all claiming to be the true representative of God . Kind of puts into perspective the minor stuggles between the evil adult learners and the holders of the True Light, the Grumpy Locals ?
Dayum James, you’re pretty much a genius, as far as surfers go (see, I proved my own point: I don’t know if the phrase “as far as surfers go” is proper but I bet you do). I’m gonna hold my head a bit higher today and be a bit lighter on my feet, as a holder of the True Light.
Shootsthen , what a you waiting for ? Get over there and have a go .
It’s a funny world
When Jews can exclude Gentiles
Not Gentiles the Jew
Yep,it’s almost over for us white cunts
If Whitey ain’t slaves
By the year 2080
The Chinese have failed
Your assuming that Artificial Intelligence will still have need of Homo Sapiens in 2080 to clean toilets or be kept as pets whether they be from China or Orange County ?
They’ll be bored shitless without us.
Don’t think the Chinese
Are dumb enough to create
New competitors
But they may ,like Mary Shelley’s Dr Frankenstein, lose control of their own creation ?
Hey Eddie, I really like your insightful Haikus. Keep em coming please.
what is a “white” person?
plenty of Euros with dark skin
A person from Northern Europe is generally regarded as white.
Motherfuckers
Only by small minded people, who see the world in black and white.
sadly that is most of Humanity
That’s a bit rude
Moderator!!
lol
Northern Whitey, when he wakes up…he’s uncontrollable! Must take him out.
Does that mean Ian Gentile cant compete?
No but on account
Of his mediocrity
Not his dick skivvy
Koa Rothman?
Jewish Surf Mafia
Is his mother Jewish? If so, then he is Jewish. Just because his dad is Jewish does not mean Koa is automatically Jewish. I’m probably wrong, but I thought the Jews determine Jewish lineage by the matriarchal side, not the patriarchal side. And Koa and his brother look hapa, like Eddie got with a local Hawaiian girl. And there are not too many local Jews here in Hawaii. So he could be, but the odds are stacked against Koa being Jewish.
best one yet.
I’m half German could I go?
You could be one hundred percent Bavarian by way of Austria and still go. You just gotta be a Jew.
ah I love Bavaria!! Weissbier and Dunkel = no hangover – family there it is epic
Every time I slurp down a Dunkelbier I feel the welling up of nostalgic tears from my youth sipping on Tooheys Old ?
Its a shame the reverse doesn’t tear me up. Tooheys Old isnt a patch on Schneider Weisse Tap 6…but the grass is always greener as they say.
It’s not that the dunkelbier is not appreciated by taste buds or soul but it is often a catalyst transporting me through time and space to warmer waves and climes ,lost friends (and hair) ,especially around this time of year .
Roger that – the opposite for me, just left Deutschland and returned to Sth coast. Didn’t think I would, but miss Germany quite a bit.
And the welcome as you arrive in Munich! https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
That looks pretty fun. I wanna go, again!
By way did you see Dez 4.65m great white caught Maroubra – 2m tail 1m pec fins!!! I am happy they born here and then piss off to other areas!!
Take a tip, Ballina shire council!!
I was there sunning myself and reading Shirley Hazzard’s The Transit of Venus when that swollen goldfish was pulled out of the drink. Waited four hours to surf.
I’m Jewish and I have family in Israel. Sign me up! The Food there is amazing!!!
Eat a dick
And make sure it’s Kosher.
Or washed to a sparkle!
Or safely wrapped in plastic ?
I prefer washed.
You naughty boy, you!
Random bacon testing is mandatory
if they have a kook division, this could be my chance . at least i’m not a jeep ad.
It’s all a kook division!
heh, not everyone is legitimate jewish kook! this tribe is very exclusive.
Lol was just gonna say..
Are we all forgetting that 1977 World Champion Shaun Tomson comes from the SouthAfrican Jewish Community ? Big Wave World Champion Makua Rothman etc ?
Do you think the great Shaun Thompson would stoop to compete in this competition? As for the Rothmans, well that’s another story… And anyways those Jews stole that star logo off Joel Tudor, he had been using it long before that David King guy!
I’m assuming the Maccabiah Games are the international Jewish version of the Commonwealth Games and may be of some significance to the international Jewish community but I have no idea if Mr Tomson would be interested in playing the role of embassador at the event ? As for the Tudor Star ,it’s amazing how he took two triangular shaped early 60s fins , played around with them ,even though they were way passed their used by date , and turned them into a star ? A parable to his illustrious career ?
Tudor is a Genius! As for these games, at least they are not the lamest – the commonwealth games surely gets that prize! Fuck I misspelled Shaun’s surname – who’s the kook now?
Don’t be too hard on yourself . I had a major fight with a non-conscious but supposedly intelligent algorithm named Spellcheck who encouraged me to do the same . No kook like an AI kook ? ( not Andy but the other AI )
But being Jewish and Zionist are not the same.
Many orthodox Jews are anti Israel.
Being neither Jewish or Zionist I can’t help you there .
https://en.wikipedia.org/wi…
Thanks Ck T . I think we have a tendency to lump people,cultures and religions into defined groups which then denies the diversity and differences of both individuals and sub cultures contained within ?
I agree. The old “us and them” mentallity that blinds people to reality
Here’s a lovely story of Jew and Mohammedan seeing eye to eye. https://www.theguardian.com…
https://www.youtube.com/wat…. I wasn’t reffering to extremists in Iran. I was reffering to Orthodox Jews in NYC. Jewish people have given us so many great things, but maybe Israel is not one of them.
And that Palestinian kid ripped off my poem …
“Oh, you who murdered (professional surfing) Oh, you who were brought up on spilling blood. You have been condemned to humiliation and hardship.
Oh (WSL) , oh most evil among creations
Oh barbaric monkeys, wretched pigs…”
No foreskins allowed
You will be checked!!
You – ahem – beat me to it!
Optional for the ladies