From the post-tour-retirement department: Matt Wilkinson buys $3.2 million resort!

Derek Rielly

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Gorgeous old school turned guest house and restaurant for one-time title contender!

If Matt Wilkinson, the decidedly homely yet attractive one-time title contender, falls early at Pipe his WCT career is over.

Matt is thirty years old and rated 24th in the world, two places below the number 22 cut-off.  A round of qualifying events seems unlikely to appeal. And, therefore, after the obligatory good cry, he will disappear from our lives.

Where to next?

In May, Matt and his girlfriend, Anna Jordan, spent $3.2 million on the gorgeous Possum Creek school house, which had subsequently been rebuilt and turned into a $1500 a night guest house, out the back of Byron Bay.

matt wilkinson-anna-jordan
Here, patriarch Matt Wilkinson and his lover Anna Jordan, up Possum Creek, with paddle and friendly dog.
The ol Possum Creek school house turned Wilko-Jordan guesthouse.
Much potential for good sexing.

Let’s poke a little into its Air BnB listing. 

Just 10 minutes from the beaches of Byron Bay, Friday Hut Road Estate is a stunning hinterland property consisting of a luxurious 5 bedroom, 3 bathroom home with a private cinema, and a charming riverfront Boat House with 1 bedroom, plus living area, kitchenette, bathroom and 2 large balconies.

Like a plantation home (minus the yoke of slavery) from days yore.

The Estate is spread over 2 acres of cascading green lawns that lead down to our own private section of Possum Creek. This babbling river has pristine waters and is even home to a resident platypus.

The lawns of the Estate offer incredible views of the valley, and there are various large open spaces for guests to set up picnics or outdoor dining. Our outdoor bungalow and bar area also has a wood fired pizza oven available for guest usage.

If you’re lucky – you might even meet our resident koala and her new baby who spend their time lazing about the Eucalyptus trees at the front of the property.

Reviews are uniformly positive.

“Welcome to paradise! This home exceeded all expectations! So private yet so close to town! Equipped with everything we needed for the perfect gathering on the grass. Pizza oven was such a nice touch. The home has a beautiful coastal, homely feel and it’s own private river bank, serious heaven!”

“I’ve stayed in quite a few properties around the Byron Hinterland and this was one of the best! The layout of the place is incredible, especially the beautiful boathouse situation just above the creek.”

Perhaps the loveliest part of the operation is the option to buy surf lessons with Matt himself (click here).

As far as post-tour life goes, I think Matt has made several very good decisions.

Land, wife, ongoing income.

A sunset golden.

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From the The-Inertia-is-resting Department: Dog with terminal cancer ticks surfing off bucket list!

Chas Smith

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It's tough to get a scoop out there these days but boom!

I read the most The Inertia story ever this morning. More The Inertia than overcoming childhood sexual traumas through learning to ride a mountain bike in Wyoming. More The Inertia than overcoming bullying and a speech impediment while learning to SUP foil in the Mentawis.

It is so The Inertia that when I read the headline Dog with terminal cancer crosses ‘surfing’ off his bucket list I thought that The Inertia would have paused all coverage of childhood sexual traumas, bullying and speech impediments in order to cover it wall to wall and raced over to see the different takes.

Somehow, though, Zach Weisberg and co. missed it. Missed the story of their year.

I feel sad for them but snoozers are losers so get ready to be uplifted to the max.

Jack Miller, a dog with terminal cancer whose owners created a bucket list of things for him to do before he passes, got to check one more item off his list Sunday, WECT reported.

When Kevin Murphy, founder of Ocean Cure in Carolina Beach, heard Jack’s story, he reached out to one of Jack’s owners, Jeremy, to offer a surfing lesson for Jack.

The surfing lesson for Jack was held Sunday morning at Carolina Beach.

Before the lesson, Jack posted on his Facebook page about how excited he was, saying, “On my way to Carolina Beach to try my paw at surfing!”

Dry those tears, Zach… you’ll catch the next one and that sweet dog is living the dream. Don’t be selfish here. Don’t be all self-absorbed.

It’s not a good look.

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Blood Feud: “Fuck, I have seen Alex Knost do bigger airs!”

Chas Smith

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Come eat some crow!

It is commonly said that revenge is a dish best served cold and this morning, while Southern California is consumed with hot fire, I wonder if the same might be true for the Blood Feud?

You’ve followed along with so many right here. Kalani Robb vs. surf blogs, The Inertia vs. The Sisterhood, Stab vs. North Shore locals, Kelly Slater vs. Flat Earthers, Kelly Slater vs. Joel Tudor, Joel Tudor vs. the entire world, etc.

Usually, of course, the feud is caught in the moment of passion, tempers flaring, messages getting posted then erased then re-posted thanks to the magic of screen grab.

Today’s is different though. Today pits near-legend Australian surfer Mitch Coleborn against younger Australian surfer Reef Heazlewood and begins over 5 long weeks ago for it was then that Stab magazine posted a video of Reef popping out of a barrel and doing a cute little air. The caption read, “It doesn’t get much dreamier than an offshore, warm water, head-high, flouro tube with an accompanying end section.”

All fine and good until Mitch Coleborn came swinging into the comments, writing, “Fuck I have seen Alex Knost do bigger airs.”

Did Reef come screaming back filled with hurt and rage?

No.

Yesterday he merely paddled out at Rocky Point there on Oahu’s North Shore and blasted the biggest air I have seen this year. Higher than two Alex Knost surfboards stacked tip to tail.

A deafening riposte. And how should dear Mitch respond? Let us turn to Stab magazine’s editor Ashton Goggans since Stab is where this particular Blood Feud began.

Mmmm. The answer to every problem.

(Editor’s note: Mitch Coleborn replied via IG DM. “Psyched him up! Fucking went huge after a little [here Mitch inserted a fire emoji].)

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Confession: “I still dream of being boozy Norman Mailer, getting in fights, getting beat up by rivals!”

Chas Smith

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Ashton Goggans? Are you still there li'l pussy?

Did you know that November is prostate health awareness month? Of course you did. But do you participate? Do you grow your moustache in order to celebrate Movember? I hope you do. Prostate health is very important etc. I’ve been sporting a moustache for the past two years but shave it off every November just so passerbys don’t confuse me for someone with a moral conscious. I don’t have one and it would be a rude sleight of hand to pretend I do.

November is also National Novel Writing Month and you didn’t know that but should. Novels are more interesting than prostates, or I’m guessing. I’ve only written one and started four and none will ever see the light of day. Even so, my literary agent (the absolute best in the world) allowed me to write a piece on “Why I Write” to celebrate NaNoWriMo and I decided to share with you too since you are the ones who put up with me every single day of the week, multiple times.

Sorry but without further ado…

I like to write more than almost anything. I like to write more than I like to surf, more than I like to shop in label-hooker shops. More than I like feeling the warm sun on my face. Writing came to me not because I have any talent, at all, but because I fell in love with writers. I wanted to be Albert Camus with his flipped collar and jaunty cigarette. I wanted to be Tom Wolfe in his impeccable white suit. I wanted to be Norman Mailer, boozy Norman Mailer, getting in fights, getting beat up by rivals, getting laughed off the stage after delivering an awful boozy performance.

Writers eclipse all the stars of the universe, who could possibly disagree, and the only way to become a writer was to write.

Just after 9/11 my two best friends in the world and I went to Yemen to be the first ever surfers up its mainland coast. I had heard on the news that Osama bin Laden’s family had come from the hills surrounding the city Al Mukallah, found it on a map and stared at the coastline. There had to be surf there. Just had to be.

We financed the trip, partially, by pitching stories to surf magazines even though none of us had ever written more than a school paper. My friend Josh would write for Surfer and I’d write for Australia’s Surfing Life. Months later we were there, wild explorers living literary dreams. We were like Livingston, Burton and T.E. Lawrence with his steely blue eyes pointing out across the desert.

We found surf, yes, got in trouble, very much so, and lived by the seat of our threadbare boardshorts for three months. Al-Qaeda chases, shootouts, pirate encounters, etc. The story should have written itself.

Except I wrote it.

I remember feeling like a future Pulitzer Prize winner as I punched my computer keys. I was doing the exact same that Evelyn Waugh, Joan Didion and Hunter S. Thompson had done. I was one of them. Maybe not exactly one but in the room or maybe in the yard. I emailed the story to the editor, pleased as pie, then went out to the mailbox to wait for the issue to arrive in the mail.

Three further months later it was there. I ripped off the plastic sheath, threw the surf DVD aside, furiously pawed through the pages and found my story.

It was the worst thing anyone had ever written on earth. Pompous, ill-informed, narcissistic, horribly paced, littered with first person-pronouns. I buried my head in my hands, all dreams crushed, all hopes dashed.

I would never be a writer.

A few months later found my two best friends and me in Lebanon, working on a story for Vice. Josh, writing well and smartly, kept sending stories in which came back with notes before I decided to give it a crack, writing a pompous, ill-informed, narcissistic, horribly paced piece littered with first-person pronouns.

Vice accepted it instantly and look at me now. Look at me, damn it. In all truth, though, I have fallen deeply, hopelessly in love with writing and will never stop again even if I’m my only audience.

Narcissistic Nirvana!

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Victory: the World Surf League’s belligerent, antagonistic stance reaps reward!

Chas Smith

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So long Quiksilver... hello The Beachwaver Co!

It is almost 2019 and can you even believe it? Can you even believe how fast time is moving? Of course it’s an overwrought cliche to write about time flying etc. but it is. It feels, for example, like we don’t even really know World Surf League CEO Sophie Goldschmidt yet but she’s already been on the job for over a year.

She took over, if you recall, from ex-WSL CEO Paul Speaker whose time at the wheel was marked by soaring highs (Mick Fanning bumping into a shark) and soaring highers (admitting for the first time that Kelly Slater makes well north of 20 million dollars a year).

There was one thing in the Speaker era, though, and I think that has bled into the Goldschmidt era as well that had industry insiders slightly dour. I’ve heard from every corner that the League enjoyed taking a belligerent, antagonistic stance when it came to the brands and their involvement in professional surfing events. Like, jacking up the price of involvement while gutting the benefits of involvement and doing it all with a mean “get-lost-we-know-this-game-better-than-you” sneer.

Back when the World Surf League was called the Association of Surfing Professionals each tour stop was accompanied by a major surf sponsor. Quiksilver, Billabong, Rip Curl, Hurley, O’Neill, Volcom etc. Even Globe got into the game every once in a while but now let us look

Quiksilver still has France and Billabong the Pipeline in Honor of Andy Irons and Rip Curl has Bells and Portugal but that’s it and I’d imagine both Quiksilver and Billabong vacate entirely in the next few years.

The casual observer might think, “Well hmmmm. Who is going to sponsor these events now? It doesn’t seem very intelligent to frustrate and aggravate the only companies that care.” But the casual observer would be wrong, or at least in this case.

The World Surf League has brilliantly squashed the surf brands in order to make way for the likes of The Beachwaver Co. and let’s read the press release.

Two brands on a mission to find the perfect wave—the Beachwaver Co.® and the World Surf League (WSL)—have teamed up for the epic finale of the 2018 WSL Women’s Championship Tour.

The Beachwaver Co. is thrilled to announce its partnership with WSL as title sponsor of the tour’s final event—the first-ever Beachwaver Maui Pro.

2018 will mark the 16th edition of the event where superstars of women’s surfing will battle on some of the world’s best waves. Kicking off November 25, the Beachwaver Maui Pro will feature 18 of the world’s most dynamic female surfers competing for the event win, and potentially, the World Title.

“We are proud to partner with such strong athletes and role models,” added Beachwaver Co-Founder and Celebrity Stylist Sarah Potempa. “As the inventor of the Beachwaver, I am beyond excited to work with these incredible women, with equally incredible stories, who are inspirations to people around the world, and who inspire us, too.”

“As we come down to the final women’s Championship Tour event, the Beachwaver Maui Pro, the WSL looks forward to partnering with Beachwaver to highlight the incredible feats of the women surfers from this year on Tour,” said Sophie Goldschmidt, WSL CEO. “The synergy between innovation, empowerment and style connects the WSL and Beachwaver brands, so we are excited to be working together for this event to give our athletes the opportunity to continue to break boundaries.”

Having been a regular stop on the women’s championship tour from 1999 until 2009, Maui returned to the schedule in 2014 and has been the season-ender on the elite women’s tour ever since. The Hawaiian island paradise’s sprawling coastline and exotic beaches are the perfect backdrop for competitive surfing and the ultimate inspiration for perfect, Beachywaves™.

“We are looking forward to an amazing partnership,” said Sarah Potempa. “We can’t wait to celebrate these phenomenal athletes and bring fans of both WSL and the Beachwaver from around the world to Maui to find the perfect wave together.”

I had, and I’m not joking, zero idea what The Beachwaver Co. made and so I Googled and it is this.

And this.

The future, as they say, is very bright.

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Photo: Steve Sherman/@tsherms
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