Come eat some crow!
It is commonly said that revenge is a dish best served cold and this morning, while Southern California is consumed with hot fire, I wonder if the same might be true for the Blood Feud?
You’ve followed along with so many right here. Kalani Robb vs. surf blogs, The Inertia vs. The Sisterhood, Stab vs. North Shore locals, Kelly Slater vs. Flat Earthers, Kelly Slater vs. Joel Tudor, Joel Tudor vs. the entire world, etc.
Usually, of course, the feud is caught in the moment of passion, tempers flaring, messages getting posted then erased then re-posted thanks to the magic of screen grab.
Today’s is different though. Today pits near-legend Australian surfer Mitch Coleborn against younger Australian surfer Reef Heazlewood and begins over 5 long weeks ago for it was then that Stab magazine posted a video of Reef popping out of a barrel and doing a cute little air. The caption read, “It doesn’t get much dreamier than an offshore, warm water, head-high, flouro tube with an accompanying end section.”
All fine and good until Mitch Coleborn came swinging into the comments, writing, “Fuck I have seen Alex Knost do bigger airs.
Did Reef come screaming back filled with hurt and rage?
No.
Yesterday he merely paddled out at Rocky Point there on Oahu’s North Shore and blasted the biggest air I have seen this year. Higher than two Alex Knost surfboards stacked tip to tail.
A deafening riposte. And how should dear Mitch respond? Let us turn to Stab magazine’s editor Ashton Goggans since Stab is where this particular Blood Feud began.
Mmmm. The answer to every problem.
(Editor’s note: Mitch Coleborn replied via IG DM. “Psyched him up! Fucking went huge after a little [here Mitch inserted a fire emoji].)
No no, it’s poetry. I’ve been quietly giggling all afternoon thinking about it.
https://youtu.be/-zHBN45fbo8
Perhaps you have the correct words, but are they in the right order?
“Who’s the black private dick
That’s a sex machine to all the chicks? (Shaft)
You’re damn right”
Be careful , they‘ll be using your Fellini film title to sell soft boards before you know it .
Now you‘re talkin‘! Voguing the trend that Madonna borrowed from Malcom
McClaren mid to late 80s .
According to that sign, he was doing it in the appropriate area.
What’s the problem?
I’m sure there’s some joke in there about rides on the Boring Machine.
Who dat zgackly?
I’m 48. Do I qualify?
I demand to qualify.
It’s my right to qualify.
Look at that stab editor, you shoulda finished the job. Such a fckn pussy, even too much of a pussy to wear a beanie correctly.
Fckn kook.
Oh thank goodness. I was steeling myself for a savage popular meme-based assault on my fragile ego.
Only sometimes though.
Not really sure what that means. Is it good?
LDV of surf sites made me laugh so hard thanks 🙂
That was an important cultural reference at the time.
I actually went and saw it in the movie theatre. My dad wasn’t too thrilled about sitting through that movie, though.
Size matters!
I’m seriously considering offering Chas a job digging drains for me… he’s a phenomenal taskmaster on the shovel.
I do have some concerns that team moral may suffer under the weight of his convictions that and he may use the shovel to dig graves after hours.
If you can get me legal residence in NZ I’ll dig ditches for you for half minimum wage.
You’re in luck! marriage is the easiest way. I’ve just broken up with my Gal and same sex marriage is now legal here in NZ!
It’s a win/win as I won’t even have to pay you then either.
silver lining! also a possible same sex sex game
Some one will always have to pay. Even if it is with the hairy cheque book. (Did the breakup happen to coincide with your fishing trip?)
Ha! No it was a just fishing trip not a “fishing trip”
You should have plenty of takers. I hear Kaikoura is the new Wanaka.
sorry to hear of split
*boards plane to nz. opportunity knocks!
I asked my wife and she told me to go fuck myself so I think we’re good!
I’d be overjoyed!
You’d be licensed to say the word ‘cunt’ without irony.
How’s the pay? I mean, it can’t be worse than writing…
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Oh digging drains sucks! When I was 16 I worked for a racist redneck from Escondido named Iron Mike who refused to hire Mexicans (stupid really, could have hire serious, hardworking men instead of lazy gym rat surfer kids). He’d sit in the backhoe and scream all red-faced and sometimes swing the bucket at you when you fucked up. He’d send you down into any hole with no bracing. Under false pretenses he’d send you to his house to get something to test his three enormous Rottweilers’ desire to kill.
On the plus side two Budweisers at lunch for everyone on the crew every day, non-negotiable.
If anyone on your crew complains send them to me for tales of how bad it could be!
You clearly don’t understand Australians. Mitch isn’t making fun of Reef, he’s clowning Knost.
I suggest they end this local Sunshine Coast vendetta once and for all by Breakdance battle in the carpark at the heritage listed tourist attraction in Nambour , the Big Pineapple ?
Please, no more images of ass ton.
Ironically Mitch is less relevant than Alex Knost