Leroy the masochist
Like us, our pals at the brilliant Saturdays Surf magazine adore Big Wednesday. Surf historian Matt Warshaw, howevs, says it was "some heavy-handed bullshit about friendship, and growing up, and blah blah."

Warshaw: “Surfing’s biggest Turkey!”

Surfing's most shameful episode!

When I was a kid, sitting at home there in a gloomy suburb hours from the beach, I’d get my surf kicks via TV. One day, mid-summer, midday, no parent around to deliver me to the water, an old Hollywood surf movie called Big Wednesday came on.

I knew nothing about it. Didn’t know the hype. Didn’t know the praise (not much) nor the criticism (much). And it swallowed me completely into the romance of three men growing up, on the beach, as surfers around Malibu.

I ain’t the only fan. On the new Anderson Paak album Malibu, if you listen between tracks you’ll hear samples from this epic. 

The great surf historian, Matt Warshaw, has a totally different take. Matt regards it as one of the most shameful episodes, ever, in surfing.

BeachGrit: When I saw this, on TV, as a kid, it painted the surfer’s life, for me, poignantly, beautifully. Better than anything before or since. What’s your take? Did John Milius nail it for you too?

In the surf media, the Big Wednesday built up was like nothing you’ve ever seen. Cover stories, making-of features, endless gossip and chatter. This was going to be the one! John Milius gets it! He surfs! Greenough was onboard, Bud Browne, PT, Ian, Bill Hamilton, Greg MacGillivray, on and on and on. This movie could not fail! And it was a piece of shit. Worse than Gidget. Worse than Ride the Wild Surf. It was a message film. Some heavy-handed bullshit about friendship, and growing up, and blah blah.

Fuck you. You crazy!

No, actually the first 20 minutes were good. The party scene. The part where LeRoy makes that kid at Malibu give his board to Jan-Michael Vincent, who’s too hung-over to walk. “I’m going to drown, and all you’re going to find is this shitty board.” That was a great line. Most every scene with Gary Busy was worth watching. Did you know he made The Buddy Holly Story the same year he made Big Wednesday?

Got an Academy Award for that one, didn’t he?

Nominated, but didn’t win.

It was a piece of shit. Worse than Gidget. Worse than Ride the Wild Surf. It was a message film. Some heavy-handed bullshit about friendship, and growing up, and blah blah.

Didn’t the surf media shit on Big Wednesday when it was released? 

They lined up and took turns, yeah. Surfer called it “mediocre” and “self-indulgent” and “embarrassing.” And said Jan-Michael Vincent was horribly miscast as a drunk, which is sad and ironic but also kind of funny, given that he was on his way to becoming a total crash and burn alcoholic. Surfing said the only good thing about Big Wednesday was that it sucked so hard that Hell would freeze over before Hollywood touched surfing again.

Paint the narrative arc for me…

Three friends rule the Point, grow up, grow apart. One of the friends gets punched in the face by another one of the friends. Vietnam brings comedy and tragedy. There is a lemon next to a pie — I’m not sure what that means. In the final act, the ultimate big swell comes, and Gerry Lopez is there, and the three friends reunite at the Point, Lopez gives LeRoy a knowing smile, and the friends charge forth. Matt takes a header on the reef, the other two save him. Back on the beach, there is hugging, and vague promises to keep in touch. Cut.

Tell me the back story of Big Wednesday. It’s Lance Carson and so forth, yeah? The Malibu gang?

The party stuff in the beginning came from “No-Pants Mance,” a great short story written by Denny Aaberg, brother of California point-surf style king Kemp Aaberg. Lance was the inspiration on that one, yeah. Denny then wrote the book version of Big Wednesday, along with John Milius, and apart from the party stuff I don’t think there was much back story. Mostly just Milius having a sentimental wank about his days at Malibu. Before he went full fascist with Red Dawn and Conan the Barbarian.

Oh, the tragedy of the scene where Matt, now just slightly over the hill, takes his daughter to see him in a movie and the crowd quiets during his section and then lights up during the new hotshot Gerry Lopez part.

Yeah, the backside of the mountain. Tough. Five years later, it’d be Lopez in the theater looking noble and deflated as Tom Carroll comes onscreen and drives ‘em wild.

Y’got a favourite scene? 

LeRoy during his military physical, playing the nutcase, bumming cigarettes from the shrink.

Tell you though, I hated, hated, hated Jack. Reminds me of every teacher, every lifesaver, every cop. Goes to fight yella man in Vietnam, becomes a lifeguard, a ranger.

Jack actually makes all the right choices, the sane choices, but yes he is mouthful of castor oil.

Jan-Michael Vincent. God I wanted to be that stud with his freewheeling harem. How’s he doing these days? 

Drunk, broke, angry, and missing a leg. Don’t watch the video interview with him from a couple years ago. He was a bastard back in the day, I’ve heard, but jeez nobody deserves to be in the shape he’s in. Big Wednesday was Jan Michael Vincent’s greatest moment. He never looked better, and was still on his way up.

Were you surprised when the movie became a cult favourite?

Never underestimate the power of Baby Boomer self-regard. Big Wednesday was retro when it came out, and ten years later when it went big as a rental, it was retro-retro. Double-dipped nostalgia. Boomers wore their VHS machines out playing that turkey, wallowing in their imagined past. But at the time, yeah, I was surprised.

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It’s morning again in the surf industry!

Feel that heart beat!

It’s morning again in the surf industry. Today more men and women will paddle out than ever before in our country’s history. With interest rates at about half the record highs of 1980, nearly 2,000 families today will buy new surfboards, more than at any time in the past four years.

This afternoon 6,500 young men and women will watch the U.S. Open of Surfing, and with the surf at less than half of what it was just yesterday, they can look forward with confidence to making out in the toilets instead.

It’s morning again in America, and under the leadership of Kelly Slater, our country is prouder and stronger and better. Why would we ever want to return to where we were less than four short years ago?

But also…

There is a shark in the water. For some people, the shark is easy to see. Others don’t see it at all. Some people say the shark is tame. Others say it’s vicious and dangerous. Since no one can really be sure who’s right, isn’t it smart to be as strong as the shark? If there is a shark.

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Alana Blanchard Ola Bellas
I've been tempted to take shots at Alana in the past. I try to refrain. There's nothing wrong with her gig. I suspect all the judgment I dredge up was socialized into me.

Swing your mood from shit to shine!

With this dazzling clip from Alana Blanchard and Leila Hurst in Mex… 

I slept terribly last night. We don’t have A/C and it was of those situations where the fan is just pushing around hot moist air. Toss in my wife’s snores and my dog’s farts and you’ve got a recipe for tossing and turning.

Felt a little slow all day. Went for a bodysurf, got some sun, drank a beer, put on some Fleetwood Mac. Feeling much better.

It’s nice when you can swing your mood from shit to shine. I think Alana Blanchard’s newest edit helped.

I’ve been tempted to take shots at Alana in the past. I try to refrain. There’s nothing wrong with her gig. I suspect all the judgment I dredge up was socialized into me.

Her bikini shopping livestreams are pretty brutal, but everyone’s gotta earn a buck. I’d probably roast a guy for doing it. But she’s a woman and I have different standards because we live different realities.

It’s nice when you can swing your mood from shit to shine. I think Alana Blanchard’s newest edit helped.

I’ve been tempted to take shots at Alana in the past. I try to refrain. There’s nothing wrong with her gig. I suspect all the judgment I dredge up was socialized into me.

It’s a very good clip. Gorgeous colors. Minimal model lifestyle lifestyle shots. Mostly just damn good surfing, and that is sadly rare on the female side of the sport. 

Blanchard and Leila Hurst are straight ripping Salina Cruz. It’s gotta be the best I’ve ever seen Alana surf. I’m sure some people will try to shit on it because the ladies aren’t John John. But who really is?

It’s more than good enough to be very entertaining. I wish I could consistently surf as well as either of them.

There is a lot of flesh on display. Resist the temptation to talk shit. Telling a woman to cover up her body is not a road you should start down. Remember to admire, not creep.

I wonder how many stalkers Blanchard has. Gotta be a shitload, right?

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Challenge: Chas Smith vs Paul Speaker!

In exchange for one interview Chas Smith promises to never write a bad word about WSL CEO Paul Speaker again!

That sumbitch Paul Speakr. That no good motherfuckr. Sumbitch.

Yeah? So what? I been drinkin again but so what? So? I got sum booz in me n then Google searched “Paul Speakr” n u know when the lass time he talked to the surf media was? U know?

21013.

Four whole years ago an to Surfline of all place. SURFLIN! Where they prostitute there photogrpahers.

An this is part of my problm. Saul Peakr.

I wrote a lil thing today and teeeed offf on him n sum people email me n say “lay off!” but he deserve it becaus what the FUCK? Wht the fuck does he thing surfing is? Some big huge thign? Some thing that anybody but US cares about? Fuck that guy! Chickenshit motherfuckr. Sumbitch.

So Im calling you out MR. WLS CEO PAUL SPEAKR!

The ress of the surf media is too damn sissy to say nothing. To demand nothing. Fuck that guy. He ain’t me. He ain’t you. He don surf. He don wanna talk to no surfers.

Paul? U out there?

Why u  don talk to no surfers?

Heres the deal on the table but only sticks  til sundown tomorro.

K?

I promisss to nevr write any shit about u evr again. EVR!

in xchange for 1 innerview.

1

thass it.

thass all.

I tried to go thru normal chanels but u ain’t havin nothing. SO here we stand.

Ar u a chicknshit?

Are you?

P>S>

Ill let u punch me as hard as u want afterward…….4 free.

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Filipe Toledo
Let Filipe Toledo's best cuts from 2016 gently intoxicate…  | Photo: WSL/Cestari

Movie: Filipe’s suck and bite bruises!

The best of Filipe Toledo's Jack Russell-ish jams from 2016!

It’s pretty easy to forget, at least when the surf strikes four foot and beyond, that Filipe Toledo is our sepia Apollo. The sweet ferocity of his strikes, the torso whiplashing.

Kolohe Andino likens Filipe to cult leader-killer Charles Manson and says if you’re not “in love with Filipe’s full-rotations, you’re blind!”

Yeah, Filipe runs a little hot and cold, and coldest, mostly, if there’s a little venom in a reefBut he ain’t alone. Do you remember when the then reigning world champ Gabriel Medina had to be cajoled into surfing the Box during 2014’s Margaret River contest? 

But, three foot or thereabouts and is there anyone else who makes you feel so ready to surf with…vigour? 

Want to surf? Want a little inspiration?

Here’s a cut of Filipe’s best Jack Russell-ish jams from the year so far to get you in the mood.

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