Domination: Julian Wilson was the only non-Brazilian to win an event in 2018!

It's raining Brazilian men, hallelujah!

Is your heart still pounding in your chest as a result of Monday’s historic day of professional surfing? Mine isn’t, thankfully, which means I’m back to my cool, calm, analytical self. I truly believe, like Socrates, that the rational mind is superior to random fits of passion. That man is greater than the animals because of his judiciousness but I must admit to being very… concupiscent on Monday, thinking that Australia’s own Julian Wilson had a shot at winning his first world title all the way to the quarterfinals.

Silly, true, especially when viewed with the white hot clarity of hindsight. Gabriel Medina was unbeatable that day.

Neither Julian Wilson, nor any other surfer on tour, had a prayer.

Medina’s dominance was simply reflective of Brazil’s dominance all season long. Now that I have my faculties about me once again I was able to go back and closely analyze every contest.

Brazil won them all, except for the ones Julian Wilson won (Snapper, France). The “storm,” as it were, has arrived.

Now, some questions.

Will the World Surf League be able to maintain its surge of popularity amongst the adult learner market if Brazilians win every single contest next year? Oh, I don’t think adult learners are more racist than you or me, but I do wonder if Wagner Lima’s Yelp reviews might act like a drag on the entire nation. There were many harsh words there. Many angry words about etiquette etc.

Also, what do you think Jordy got for his year of end bonus?

This question haunts me more than others.

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Lindalovelace
Lindalovelace
7 years ago

One would go down on a surfboat to get Brutus thoughts on this one.

Superworm
Superworm
7 years ago

I think Toledo did 2 chop hops on one wave at jbay? Or was that last year idk

Superworm
Superworm
7 years ago

Looks like da islands?

Tio Sam
Tio Sam
7 years ago

Embrace Brazil or Brazil will embrace you from behind.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

Since 93.

Superworm
Superworm
7 years ago

I once layed over in London mid 00’s for a night at Fabric, RIP

RS
RS
7 years ago

The bottom line is that Brazilians are not spoiled like Americans and Aussies, so they work harder.

Meteorologist
Meteorologist
7 years ago

The good news: for those afraid of the Brazilian storm, the storm is now over.
It seemed to have settled into a predictable weather pattern for the next few years.
Fear not the change, weather looks steady…

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

Well I like pussy

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

Still hurting..

Tom
Tom
7 years ago

Bonuses – I thought they all just got a jeep – to surf the lanes, the beach, the highways, the snow in the off season

DavidC
DavidC
7 years ago

I think Jordy may have got docked for that sale of the century in the semis!

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

You lucky lucky bastard !

East of the 5
East of the 5
7 years ago

“Cry cry cry Gringo baby baby!” – I have been over-entertained with the majority of Brazilian posts on Tanner Hendrickson’s Insta account. Now Kook of the Day is in on the fun also. Fun for the whole family!!!!

Superworm
Superworm
7 years ago
Reply to  East of the 5

He really Streissended the hell out of it

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago

I’ve decided to get a ‘Brazilian’ to celebrate.

Except I don’t really know how that works on a man.

Shall I send a photo of the area to Gabby, and ask for advice?

Poop Stance
Poop Stance
7 years ago

Chas, you might wanna fact check Amazon rules. My friend works at the evil Seattle HQ and she said there’s kegs and dogs and all kinds of perks. Maybe in some warehouse in some inbred third world country like Mississippi they have some sorta water rule.

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago
Reply to  Poop Stance

“I YAM havin’ water… in ma fuckin’ COFFEE bee-yatch!!!”

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

They sent goofies out at the backwash barreling breakwater rights at Saquerama that not even Gabriel could thread and then caressed the natural footers yet again at an absolute feather bed for backhand surfing at Uluwatu and overscored them to boot ?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

The wonderful ladies in this clip gave my late 80’s self a taste for the exotic .

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
7 years ago

Fly on the wall told me it was “a heavily back-ended deal based largely around cosmetic nipple surgery”.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
7 years ago

2019 CT roster (mens): 11 Brazilians, 8 Australians, 4 Hawaiians, 4 mainland US, 2 Frenchmen, 1 each Italian, New Zealander, RSA and Tahitian, and 1 Japanese sorta.

Brazilians are the new Australians.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Saw the Brazilians are the new Australians and was thinking , why you were comparing them to Occy …….. They’re a Weird Mob ?

Doobalachy
Doobalachy
7 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Australia’s not going to recover until they sort out the sharks, all the kids are to scared to go in the water and have quit

Superworm
Superworm
7 years ago
Reply to  Doobalachy

and are playing fortnite

ricmatic
ricmatic
7 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Obrigado mate

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

It’s kinda true
I lived there and it’s like a fucked up australia
BBQ kings hands down
Lots of beer and much cheaper nose cones
Oh and lotsa shitty beachbreaks

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

Gonna be brazzo kids repping Australia soon.

m0rt
m0rt
7 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Wash your mouth out

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

On the subject of Socrates , I bet his immortal sole didn’t sell as many units as Mick’s Reef bottle opener souled ?
As the body is mortal and is subject to physical death, the sole must be its indestructible opposite.Brazil got Gabe but Oz has Mick , beer bottle opening thongs and thus immortality ?

Now for a bit of Soul II Sole
Back to life
Back to reality ………


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