Paul Fisher joins Steve Wonder, Quincy Jones, Kendrick Lamar and Beyoncé in the pantheon of music greats!
Earlier today, the nominations for the 2019 Grammy Awards, a sorta Academy Awards for the music biz, were announced. Among the usual names, Drake, Cardi B, Kendrick, Post Malone and Childish Gambino, was the one-time pro surfer-comic Paul Fisher, now trading as DJ Fisher.
Quickly, come down memory lane and remember Fisher as he was.
And, now.
“You heard of the grammys? Well, I’ve been nominated, cunt!” said Fisher.
John John Florence is the most popular male surfer in the world and this should come as no surprise even though he has been injured all year even though we haven’t seen him surf but for once.
But for once is all we needed and he soared to the very stratosphere, to the place once occupied by Kelly Slater.
Kelly Slater, speaking of, he is the third most popular male surfer in the world, drifting back. Filipe is the fourth most popular male surfer in the world, obviously, nipping at Kelly’s heels. Gabe is fifth with Julian and Mick after that with Dane Reynolds still there too.
But wait.
Who is the second most popular surfer in the world?
Like you didn’t already know.
Jack Freestone.
Australia’s Jack Freestone.
Jack Freestone once commented on my Instagram account (RIP) so he’s my second favorite male surfer in the world but I won’t lie. It surprises me that he’s yours.
Did he comment on your Instagram account too?
You can be honest. I won’t be jealous.
Also, his wife, the wonderful Alana Blanchard is the number one most popular female surfer in the world. Even more popular than newly minted seven-times world champion Stephanie Gilmore.
Alana Blanchard, left, and men’s winner John John Florence, ears.
Alana Blanchard never commented on my Instagram but if she had I can’t imagine it being anything other than kind.
Other winners:
MOVIE OF THE YEAR: “Never Town”
BEST SHORT: “Octopus Video No. 4: Chippa Wilson”
BEST SERIES: “The Search”
BEST PERFORMANCE: John John Florence in “Space”
BEST DOCUMENTARY: “Andy Irons: Kissed by God”
BEST MANEUVER: Noa Deane in “Head Noise”
BEST BARREL: Nathan Florence, Backdoor
HEAVY WATER: Lucas “Chumbo” Chianca
A.I. BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMER: Caroline Marks
A.I. BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMER: Seth Moniz
AGENT OF CHANGE: 4ocean
MEN’S SURFER POLL:
10. Andy Irons
9. Griffin Colapinto
8. Dane Reynolds
7. Mick Fanning
6. Julian Wilson
5. Gabriel Medina
4. Filipe Toledo
3. Kelly Slater
2. Jack Freestone
1. John John Florence
WOMEN’S SURFER POLL:
10. Courtney Conlogue
9. Caroline Marks
8. Sage Erickson
7. Tyler Wright
6. Lakey Peterson
5. Carissa Moore
4. Coco Ho
3. Stephanie Gilmore
2. Bethany Hamilton
1. Alana Blanchard
CHRISTMAS GIFT THE SURFBOARD BAG THAT CHANGES LIVES!
Pro-Lite Rhino Surfboard Travel Bag
$US178
I spent a majority of my life quietly hating surfboard bags. As a much younger man, right before heading to Yemen on a three-month long quest, my friends and I purchased two nine-foot coffins to carry our boards and gear. Our boards were normal sized, 5’11” whatever, but I think we felt the extra space would come in handy. It did not. Every day was a sweaty war, duct taping the bag over on itself so we could manage. It was bulky, uncomfortable hell and I cursed them every day, while cursing all surfboard bags.
Last year, I went on a surf trip to southern Mexico and the thought of struggling with another new nine-foot coffin that had somehow come into my life filled me with rage and so I marched down to Hansen’s Surf Shop and and asked the attendee which surfboard bag I should buy.
I chose the Rhino Surfboard Travel Bag and kid you not, it changed my life. My boards, a 5’8″ Mayhem Short Round and a 5’11” Super Brand Siamese Twin slid right in with no wrestling and no sticking to each other, there was ample slots for fins, wax, boardies etc. but the revelation was its padded strap that crossed the bag in a kitty-corner fashion.
“There’s only one choice…” he said, almost snorting that I didn’t know “… Pro-Lite.”
I chose the Rhino Surfboard Travel Bag and kid you not, it changed my life. My boards, a 5’8″ Mayhem Short Round and a 5’11” Super Brand Siamese Twin slid right in with no wrestling and no sticking to each other, there was ample slots for fins, wax, boardies etc. but the revelation was its padded strap that crossed the bag in a kitty-corner fashion.
A modern miracle, I realized when I picked it up at the airport and it didn’t swing across my body, clipping passersby with its aggressive torque. You know that awful reality, no? When your boardbag, held over shoulder, swings back and forth as you walk and you must spend an inordinate amount of energy keeping it straight?
The Pro-Lite bag stayed straight all by itself and was no more difficult to manage than a briefcase. Oh how I then cursed all those years of wandering in the uncomfortable hell. The experience was such a revelation that I also took the bag to Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch even though it was unnecessary because there was plenty of room in Derek Rielly’s rental for stray boards.
Pro-Lite describes the Rhino bag thusly:
Weighing in at much less than a wheeled bag but packing in the same body foam and material the Rhino surfboard travel bag is perfect to have in your corner as you step into the ring with the airline check in attendant. This bag has 10mm foam protection designed for airline travel. Large exterior pockets with drainage will keep the crust off your boardshorts and the smile on your face. A sewn in divider provides the perfect separation to keep wax from switching boards. Need a place for your stash? Throw it in the secret pull out “storage” pocket. Don’t worry about salted zips on this bag; heavy duty molded non-corrosive zippers will keep the movement smooth for the life of the bag.
All fine and true and wonderful but it does not go far enough. This bag will change your loved one’s life and your loved one will be extremely grateful.
You are well aware that we are in the midst of a soft surfboard revolution. What were once tools of adult learners have become a dynamic component of high performance surf life. Jamie O’Brien, Chippa Wilson, Julian Wilson, Mason Ho, Mick Fanning, Steph Gilmore, etc. are all the proof of this pudding’s quality and a soft surfboard is now a necessary part of every quiver.
But which?
Oh of course that is a personal decision. You might enjoy a fun little 5’0″ thing or maybe a 7’0-er for those summer days when the ocean is almost flat but who doesn’t want to splash and play in the warm?
At first I put my daughter on a crusty 4’8″ thruster that I stole from Andrew Doheny many years ago. He had shaped it, if I recall, and I stole it from his house or maybe he gave it to me after an interview but it is terrible and I felt sorry for her so I acquired the Chop Stick.
For me and my house, I have Softlite’s 8’0″ Chop Stick in pink and let me explain.
My daughter, who had just turned four, was begging to surf, dying to surf. At first I put her on a crusty 4’8″ thruster that I stole from Andrew Doheny many years ago. He had shaped it, if I recall, and I stole it from his house or maybe he gave it to me after an interview but it is terrible and I felt sorry for her so I acquired the Chop Stick.
It was fantastic. There was all sorts of buoyancy, as you may expect, and I plopped her on the nose and paddled out to the lineup. We chatted and laughed, while waiting for a wave and when one came it was almost too easy to swing the board around and get in. She gingerly got to her feet while I angled down the line and it was worth anything, worth everything.
After she tired, I paddled back into the lineup alone and couldn’t stop smiling. Soft surfboards make surfing fun again, simply and purely fun, and if you get one for any one of your family members or friends you will be the one to enjoy.
A HAT THAT BRANDS ITS WEARER AS A SURFER IN THE BEST SENSE OF THE WORD!
Dark Seas Division Roycraft Hat
$US29
Surfwear gets a bad rap and, let’s be honest for a moment here, it’s Billabong and Rip Curl’s fault. All surf brands used to ooze cool, exclusive, in-crowd but then Billabong and Rip Curl erected hideous stores everywhere, mostly in outlet malls, selling ghastly things that found their way onto the backs of fat inland uncles and even fatter inland aunts.
While you were wrinkling up your nose in disgust, though, brave young designers have been quietly remaking the game. Quietly reinventing what surfwear means. Taking the power back, as it were.
It’s no less than a revolution and Dark Seas Division is another perfect example of what you should be in/gifting.
Let us examine the Roycraft Hat in black and white. It may appear simple, neat and clean but it is no less than a radical declaration.
“I surf.”
And we all know that surfing beats all. It does so why not brand the ones you love as surfers? The days of running and hiding from your destiny is over. The upcoming 2019 has been declared by publication after publication to be the Year of the Surfer.
CHRISTMAS GIFT SKIN THAT GLOWS WITH HAPPINESS EACH DAY!
Sun Bum sun cream
$10 upwards
I had a cancer cut out of my chest earlier this year. It was no secret nor will it ever be a secret because a) I will never stray from scoop neck’d t-shirts and/or very unbuttoned button-ups b) the unsightly gash hovers above even the highest of my low-neck’d tees, even above a semi-appropriately unbuttoned button-up.
Could have it been avoided?
Yes.
By wearing sunscreen but it always felt so… uncool. So… mommy-ish or sporty or Coppertone not-for-me sexy until Sun Bum came into my life.
I don’t have to sell Sun Bum to you. It sells itself with chic packaging, quality ingredients, eye toward sustainability (it’s reef friendly on top of everything else) and most of all effectiveness. It works exactly as it should.
And seriously, is there a better stocking stuffer? Is there a better thing besides sweet satsuma tangerines to slip into a stocking than a cute bottle of SPF 30 sunscreen? What about a tube of mineral SPF 30 sunscreen lip balm?
Do you have a hardcore surfer in your life? Oh, there’s the entire signature line, in black, fragrance free so it won’t sting eyes and will stay on during the longest boat session.
There’s hair care, tanning amplifiers, baby shampoo… everything. Everything and there is no better stocking stuffer. I’m telling you as a father and husband who has stuffed stockings with Sun Bum to peels of happy laughter and genuine hugs. Genuine hugs that irritated my unsightly gash.
GIFT THE WETSUIT, TRUNKS, THAT ARE AS CORE AS IT GETS!
7 Seas 3/2 Wetsuit, $A329
Coral Reefer trunks, $A80
Did you know the story BeachGrit launched on four short years ago was Focus Group Creates Surf Brand. Names it Vissla? This was before our use of colons in the headers, exclamation marks or From the ______ Department. If the story was written today it would be either Breaking: Focus group creates surf brand, names it Vissla! or From the too-much-to-drink Department: Focus group creates surf brand, names it Vissla!
But neither would be accurate because fucking hell, neither are true.
Vissla is as core as it gets. Paul Naude, the brand’s founder, lives, eat, drinks, sleeps surf like no other and wants to recapture the magic in the septic demise of the “big three.” The feeling of being a surfer and being proud and being able to enjoy every bit of this damned life.
I make mistakes and I admit them.
Vissla is as core as it gets. Paul Naude, the brand’s founder, lives, eat, drinks, sleeps surf like no other and wants to recapture the magic in the septic demise of the “big three.” The feeling of being a surfer and being proud and being able to enjoy every bit of this damned life.
Need proof? They are here and happy, able to laugh, able to take a bad joke, able to carry on because it is a brand by surfers for surfers and if that ain’t refreshing in our Era of Outrage than i don’t know what is.
You should buy a wetsuit. A wetsuit that brands your best friend/wife/brother/adult child as knowledgeable, sophisticated, discerning. You know it already. You see the baby teal Vissla logo in the water and think, “That person knows what they’re doing.” I have a Vissla wetsuit (even though I don’t really know what I’m doing). it fits like a dream and don’t cost an arm or a leg. Watch it in action in our Jersey Wetsuit Fairytale.
You don’t love your best friend/wife/brother/adult child that much? Throw ’em a t-shirt, sweatshirt, hat, pair of boardies, jacket, beanie…. something.
Anything!
Vissla makes me smile. The brand understands what makes surfing great and I’m deadly serious just like I am for all of these gift suggestions. BeachGrit was founded on the principle of telling it like it is, or at least like it feels. Those who don’t get it can get bent.
Vissla gets it.
Buy and examine the trunks, here, and the 3/2 full suit here.
GIFT THE FINS THAT JOHN JOHN FLORENCE AND JORDY SMITH RIDE ON!
John John Florence Alpha Fins
$US75 (Made in the USA)
You don’t need me to tell you how wonderful Futures Fins are. You don’t need me to tell you how overjoyed your old man will be when he reaches down past the Satsuma tangerine into the deep recesses of his stocking and pulls out a brand-new pair of John John Alphas.
You don’t need me to tell you how easy it will be to steal them later when the wrapping paper is strewn about the living room and the little ones are alternately crying because they didn’t get an X-Box with Mortal Kombat.
Fins are very much fun and who could have ever guessed that? In, like, 1988 who would have imagined that fins would basically be as fun as boards and as sexy too. And let’s be honest, John John knows the sexiest fin are Futures.
In truth they are just better and I’ve never met a man, woman or child who disagrees with that sentiment. Never had a man, woman or child tell me they like surfing most when their fins fall out and their board transforms, as if by magic, into an alaia.
Your old man will be thrilled, anyhow, or any of your loved ones or you yourself when you “borrow” them.
What is happening outside Venice Beach, California? But do you really care?
It is really difficult to imagining surf news happening outside of Venice Beach, California right now. Really hard to think that the World Surf League didn’t press the pause button while leash-gate snagged wall-to-wall coverage. That drama had absolutely everything, surprising at every turn and really solidifying into 2018’s defining moment. There is much more to come including a very deep dive into what Mr. Wagner Limaknew and when he knew it.
In the meanwhile, the Vans World Cup of Surfing at Sunset Beach, North Shore, Oahu is either done or almost done and the 2019 World Surf League Championship Tour roster is either all the way set or almost all the way set.
What fresh faces will we be seeing?
Seth Moniz, Hawaii. The WSL writes… what the 21 year-old achieved in the span of two years is nonetheless exceptional. He jumped from 142nd on the rankings at the end of 2016 to No. 2 this year with major results in Japan, Ballito, the US Open and at home at Haleiwa.
Peterson Crisanto, Brazil. The WSL writes… career choices by his sponsors at the time cost him a potential run for the big show and he spent the next seven years battling to come back.
Deivid Silva, Brazil: The WSL writes… his progressive nature and ability to take to the sky will fit right in with his compatriot on Tour in 2019.
Soli Bailey, Australia: The WSL writes… the 23-year-old Australian has been working his way through the Qualifying Series since 2012.
Who are you most excited to watch? Which will still be on tour in 2020?
Oh who am I kidding… All I care about right now is in Venice Beach, California. We have so many storylines to follow, so many things to learn and time is ticking.
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But wait: Did a poor Brazilian man get pilloried for merely removing a leash from his surfboard’s nose?
Today has been a very important day in surf assault history, threatening to eclipse Stab magazine’s Ashton Goggans’ brave run to the police and also even Jordon Montgomery’s braver run to the police. You are well aware of the situation that occurred by now but in case you are not let us sally forth to Venice Beach, California where…
The waves were horrible and dumb. A Brazilian man, Wagner Lima, who owns Brazilian Surf Club, was out amongst it as was a Senegalese Olympic hopeful, on whom NBC was shooting a profile, and her host Danielle Lyons. Also shooting photos from the pier was Rhonda Harper, the owner of Black Girls Surf.
Ms. Lyons paddled for a wave, Mr. Wagner dropped in, faded behind her and pulled her leash, Ms. Harper captured every motion in crystal clear frame by detail.
But wait! Should we look at one of the crystal clear frame by details? (I clearly meant frame by frame but can you forgive one misstep in this bang-bang-bang story day?)
And…… there! There it is!
Is Danielle Lyons’ 10 ft leash actually to blame?
It certainly appears that the 10 ft leash, drifting 1.2 kilometers behind her wrapped around poor Mr. Wagner Lima’s board. Oh how horrible are those damned longboard leashes and especially the ones that have been subject to multiple wipeouts. I actually don’t know but Ashton Goggans does. He longboards proficiently though I imagine falls enough to stretch out his 9’0 leashes to a full 4.5 kilometers because he is brave.
It does not excuse the extra pull but… it might. I mean, if someone drifted their 3.2 kilometer leash over my board I’d be pretty annoyed too. Especially if it was Ashton’s.
