"We're going to need a bigger board."
"We're going to need a bigger board."

Evolution: New England breeding new Sturdy Adult Learners who are unafraid of sharks!

SALs are here!

We have spent very much important time here identifying and categorizing adult learners. Important work seeing as the future belongs to them and, today, our World Surf League does. Most, we know, are vulnerable and I had come to assume that virtually all of them were but a new class has been uncovered in New England. A heretofore unseen sort. And I would like to introduce the Sturdy Adult Learner or SAL.

What makes this varietal so interesting is his an her complete lack of fear of sharks and in the land that gave us Jaws, no less. Amazing? I think so but let’s not pause here. Let’s get to know these SALs straight away.

A Cape Cod town has decided to continue allowing surfing schools to operate this summer despite ongoing concerns about sharks.

A 26-year-old man was killed last September while bodyboarding off Wellfleet, the state’s first fatal shark attack in more than 80 years. A man was seriously injured in an earlier attack off Truro.

The Cape Cod Times reports the Wellfleet select board decided last week to issue permits to the popular, privately-operated surf schools that offer lessons to adults and children. The board discussed possible steps such as requiring operators to carry additional insurance or show their students shark safety videos.

And there we have it. A fatality and a serious injury, due shark, will not deter the Sturdy Adult Learner from practicing his new craft. Not deter her from the joys of riding straight.

I do worry, though, that SALs will make wave tanks less… exciting. Maybe poking a little hole in the bubble. Or maybe not. Maybe SALs want to taste the floor of Surf Ranch too, once they are finished staring Great White Death in the gimlet eye.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
42 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
Wayne Lunch
Wayne Lunch
7 years ago

Phew…thought that was me, but i get violent after being dropped in on instead of aggressive.

shootsthen
shootsthen
7 years ago

Solution: Joey knows a guy from Long Island, he’s costly but he gets the job done.

Otto
Otto
7 years ago

They have a close cousin.
The MORAL They share all the same traits except lying about being sponsored. But instead keep it used to be better, I swear, now I just swear.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
7 years ago

In other news; Whoever we are have some value. Check this latest research.

Exploring the economic significance of the surf tourism market by experience level
Journal of Destination Marketing & Management, Volume 7, March 2018, Pages 164-169
Nancy Hritz, , Alexia F. Franzidis

AbstractExport
Although it has increased in popularity, surfing as a form of active sport tourism has received little attention in relation to its economic impact. The purpose of this paper is to explore the economic significance of the surf tourism market and examine any differences in spending based on surfer experience level. A longitudinal survey yielded 706 completed surveys for analysis. Descriptive and ANOVA statistics revealed that, as a niche tourism group, surfers bring economic benefits to a destination and that there are differences between surfers based on the number of years spent surfing. Surfers typically travel in groups of two to four people and were most likely to be repeat visitors to the destination. In addition, this group spends money on a year-round basis. As surfers gain experience in their sport they are also more likely to travel more frequently and spend more money per day.

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
7 years ago

makes sense. when I was growing up we always made sure we were nice to any new faces in the lineup because we understood the economical impact on the local community. we would sell them an over priced foil. then they would get the munchies and spend some extra money at the bakery. if they setup in the camp ground, a couple of the bad asses from the wrong side of the tracks would siphon the fuel out of their car and knock off their shoes while they slept. usually the next morning there would be a couple of shoeless blokes filling up their car at the local overpriced servo before buggering off never to return. perhaps a little short sighted but “living in the now” and all that stuff.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
7 years ago

The premise is wrong Derek. You’re saying that the SALs are going to happen because of getting to watch a shark safety vid. Isn’t the real story the fact that the local councils are happy to allow SALs in the water if the surf schools do the movie showing? Cash for curriculum!

mundus
mundus
7 years ago

It has been lucky that have not been many more attacks and you have to remember this is the North East Coast USA, where this used to never happen.

Jody Highroller
Jody Highroller
7 years ago

This is actually a serious issue, that does not affect me outside 1 week a year but affects others much more deeply. A bit undercovered IMO. Look it’s not West Oz or Reunion but Cape Cod is a groovy, laidback surf scene in a classic, romantic east coast beach escape. The shark situation is out of hand and may really destroy the surf scene here and even the general summer tourist recreation. Very sad for those that live here or live in the region. Few years ago family purchased a house 5 min from beach where latest attack occurred, and I doubt I’lll take the board I stashed there out in the future. Call me irrational but the amount of sharks there is too much for me and I surf the entire west coast. The people that run these surf schools/shops are positive local folk and I feel badly for them 🙁

Glitchy
Glitchy
7 years ago

I think the shark has already left the barn on that one. You can’t get anywhere near an ocean-side Cape Cod beach without fighting your way through a thicket of signs telling you to stay in shallow water, avoid going near seals, don’t swim at dawn or dusk, don’t swim alone, and oh by the way if it wasn’t already clear there are sharks here. Unless the seal population crashes again I think they’re here to stay, and the powers that be are trying to adjust. In a decade or two they’ll probably be part of the scenery that everyone takes for granted.

At least we get awesome license plates out of it.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
7 years ago

At first I was shocked
Then saw that VALS are feeding
The kids to the sharks!

f u
f u
7 years ago

It will be an interesting summer.
The seal population is huge and the sharks are getting used to feeding right off the beach.
And there is a Great White birthing ground close by

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  f u

Hi Ck T , do you think that a healthy seal population means that the sharks will be less likely to munch on surfers or do you think it will bring sharks and surfers closer together and lead to possible attacks ?

f u
f u
7 years ago

closer together.
confusing a person for prey.
there is a video on youtube from last summer of a shark hitting a seal right next to some kids, ten feet off the beach.
other videos show sharks tossing seals in the air 50 yards offshore.
The summer before last a woman was attacked in her kayak but didnt get hurt.
The Kayak had a huge bight in it though.
You ever check out https://www.ocearch.org/tra…
They track sharks. Some scary and interesting info there.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Smurfaholic
Smurfaholic
7 years ago
Reply to  f u

Apparently, there’s one turtle in Hawaii. Fella must be lonely.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Party Pete
Party Pete
7 years ago
Reply to  Smurfaholic

Probably living on twinkies and chocolates he pilfers from local huts and camps.

C4cereal
C4cereal
7 years ago
Reply to  f u

The soundtrack to that is….confusing.

f u
f u
7 years ago
Reply to  C4cereal

the Jaws theme song may have been more apppropriate

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago
Reply to  C4cereal

As are all the “Whoo-hoo!”s.

C4cereal
C4cereal
7 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

GET THAT DIRTY SEAL

Otto
Otto
7 years ago

There are three classes of Adult Learners.
VAL – Vulnerable Adult Learner
VEAL – Vulnerable Early Adulthood Learner
SAL – Sturdy Adult Learner

In addition to being completely unphased by the very real threat of an apex predator, SALs are also easily recognizable for their constant, nearly obnoxious claim that Kelly Slater is calling them on their phone at the moment so they don’t have time to talk to you.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Hope the sharks with their Ampullae of Lorenzini, don’t confuse SALs with SEALS ?

Otto
Otto
7 years ago

One storms the beach. The other wavestorms the beach.

C4cereal
C4cereal
7 years ago

The inconsistency of the frequencies generated by SALs tips the sharks off to the potentially awful flavor

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
7 years ago
Reply to  Otto

hope fully the sharks won’t mistake them for Sturdy, Early Adulthood Learners.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
7 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Well if yuou don’t mind OttoBeenThere, I feel there are many more classes of Adult Learner. Here are just two more.

AAL – Aggressive Adult Learner. Mid-30s, man, strongly built, arms himself with high performance shortboard complete with fashionable pretend carbon strips and high end fin set, wrestles his muscular frame into a name brand short sleeve full suit, half runs to the water’s edge, stretches, all a bit self-consciously, paddles out with a bit too much overwork, tries to mix it with the best surfers in the water — ripping! Etc — but ends up making a fool of himself.

OAL – Oblivious Adult Learner. Usually 40s, sometimes older, any gender, wide possible array of equipment, for sure too much rubber, maybe a hat, maybe even a shark shield, paddles slowly and carefully out and sits there beaming beatifically with no awareness whatsoever of the weird, complex social interactions happening all around him/her, and thus completely insulated from the whole thing. Eventually caught inside by a set, still sitting there beaming, and washed in.

Otto
Otto
7 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Its not that a grumpy local won’t beam beatifically, they physically can’t, if they ever could.

C4cereal
C4cereal
7 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Strangely, it seems approximately half of Orange County surfers who start as kids somehow transition into AAL.

frank
frank
7 years ago
Reply to  Otto

My personal unfavorite, and worst of all: VALE.
Vulnerable Adult Learner Enabler.
aka: surf school instructor.
These wankers are lower than whale poop, and that’s on the bottom of the ocean.

Strider's Gobble Neck
Strider's Gobble Neck
7 years ago

Do Aussies look at us in the states and just have their jaws drop? One fatality in 80 years? Only TWO attacks in a year?! That sounds like an average week in Perth.

Owen's Outgoing Tide
Owen's Outgoing Tide
7 years ago

yes, but it’s low on the list

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

Possibly more surprised that an ex Spanish colony wants to build a wall to stop Spanish speaking people from visiting a place with names like San Francisco , Santa Cruz ,Santa Barbara , San Clemente and my favorite St James ( ok San Diego )?ps On second thoughts I am probably not representing the thoughts of contemporary Australians having not lived there since 92 ….

C4cereal
C4cereal
7 years ago

California: “We love Mexicans their food”

f u
f u
7 years ago

watch the youtube videos of the sharks around cape cod and you might change your mind.

https://www.youtube.com/wat…

@surfads
@surfads
7 years ago

Sharks are more comfortable about attacking us here as they know we have universal health care.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

Apologies , for being over loquacious today , but what the fuck is a “ Shark Safety Video “ ?
…… If during today’s lesson you see a 5m long Fish weighing more than 1000kg , we advise you to , remain calm , put your head between your legs AND KISS YOUR ARSE GOODBYE !

ricmatic
ricmatic
7 years ago

XTC! You done outdid yourself James

Owen's Outgoing Tide
Owen's Outgoing Tide
7 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

ha, i thought of bad religion

frank
frank
7 years ago

Kyoto now!

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

Ah Living Through Another Cuba ? Grew up on Generals and Majors and really appreciate Dear God , a special song from a special time of personal doubt in divine beings …which I still have .

ricmatic
ricmatic
7 years ago

Black Sea and Skylarking both amazing!

commenter
commenter
7 years ago

over-loquacious

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  commenter

– better .


42
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x