Nobody cuts through the Indonesian grease like Filipe Toledo, 23, from Ubatuba, Brazil.

Corona Bali Protected, Day Three: “John John seethes; Kelly comes to life; Filipe, unbeatable!”

Who's gonna beat Filipe at head-high Keramas? Anyone?

Tough day comrades, with scoring all over the place and my judgement not as sharp as it could be. I wanted a change of government in Australia and when that didn’t happen a joyless drunken evening morphed into the kind of dour hangover that makes you think of all kinds of nasty things.

The problem for the judges started in heat one with Julian Wilson getting a 6.4 for a toy little head-high tube with a doggy door exit that any sixteen-year-old kid or forty-year-old plumber could have threaded.

That pretty much fucked the scale for the rest of the day.

Jaddy had scored threes for multiple backhand hooks with completions. Confusion about what was good surfing and how to score it was now ingrained in the booth.

Yago completely failed to fire in heat two, another theme for the day. Certain surfers just could not get out of the blocks in slow conditions. One failed air, two failed airs and the heat was over. M-Rod was also over-scored based on the Wilson over-scores.

All of which meant that coming into the marquee heat of the day, John John Florence vs Joan Duru, judges had less idea about how to score than Luke Egan did in pronouncing Joan.

In saying that, I will advance an unpopular view that judges got the result right. Based on my notes and going back to the heat analyser.

Joan’s opening waves with really crisp vertical slices and a big power hook cutdown were under-scored. An almost four-point spread between Florence and Duru was clearly disconnected from reality.

Quite clearly insane.

John’s waves were incompleted. You got the strong feeling judges were, as they say in a modern men’s circle,“holding space” for him. He fell, and fell again.

It was reminiscent of his final with Adriano at Margaret River in 2015. Miss the end section and lose the heat. In the end, judges paid a late vertical hit from Duru with a heat-winning score and were gifted a final wave from John where he fell on an opening turn.

John was seething in the presser. Through gritted teeth he called it a “tricky heat” and said he was on his way to review the Duru winning wave. He did not use the word “fun” once.

His mohawk, for the first time this season, seemed appropriate.

The other significant feature of the day, the return of the extinct air, was showcased in heat five. Jack Freestone greased an Alley Oop, which, correct if wrong, has barely been sighted since 2013.

Another slick opening turn air was similarly scored in the five range. The quagmire of five and sixes had not been breached in the previous heat with Wade and Deivid Silva.

It did beg the question, almost but not quite asked by Ronnie Blakey, what is good surfing?

Italo was just not there. Injured, off kilter, looking really weird and kooky with his front moon bootie. No man in the history of Planet Earth has managed to look competent rocking a single bootie look.

You disagree? Example then?

Rosie tried to bait Kolohe into committing to an aerial attack before his heat with Ricardo Christie but he wisely said he was going to take what the wave offered him before promptly sticking two big rotations, the first of which seemed to defeat time and gravity temporarily by fluttering in the breeze on the re-entry. Judges finally felt comfortable going into the sevens.

If the best 34 surfers in the world can’t reach that top in greasy head-high Indonesian perfection what hard questions need to be asked about the standard of surfing proffered?

Brother was pumped on the compressed scoring scale. “It’s great the scale is down,” he said. “It leaves a lot of room at the top.”

True story but if the best 34 surfers in the world can’t reach that top in greasy head-high Indonesian perfection what hard questions need to be asked about the standard of surfing proffered?

I think some kind of detente between judges, the scale and the world’s best is becoming a glaring necessity if they want to maintain the illusion of an elite product. The numbers are not flattering.

The one surfer that judges have decreed excellent at Keramas flew through the air repeatedly without a make. Luckily for Filipe, Ciao Ibelli sat mute out the back waiting for waves that never came. When Filipe finally did combo up a big hack to slide, fins out punch and air reverse ending you could smell the relief in the judges booth when they finally gave a number greater than eight.

Did you see the Kelly heat? Made you feel good didn’t it. Come on, even the biggest Kelly hater was silently cheering. A tonic. Made my bitter hangover more endurable, made life all of a sudden plausible again.

Ibelli dragged another aerial from beneath the permafrost of extinction but even that souped-up Superman wasn’t enough to get him back in the heat.

Did you see the Kelly heat? Made you feel good didn’t it.

Come on, even the biggest Kelly hater was silently cheering. A tonic. Made my bitter hangover more endurable, made life all of a sudden plausible again.

Kelly said the “first exchange will set the pace of the heat” and he was close enough. They both put ones on the board before an exchange of set waves saw Kelly tuck his carcass in behind a delectable little knuckle of Indian ocean juice and give it a couple of love taps for a 6.33.

Warm water makes old bones feel young and you could see the old man come to life in a way he couldn’t at Bells. He took to the air before finding a little speed run under priority. Like the seeding round he unleashed the turn of the day, a slightly different, more classic Slater power snap. Judges lowballed it a six, but in the context of the heat it was more than enough to send Owen packing.

Matt George, again, provided highlights in the booth. This self-appointed spokesman for Indonesian surfing called Kelly Slater the “George Foreman of surfing”. That is a stretch comparing Kelly to the greatest pitch man in history but Kelly still has a long way to run. A lot of things to pitch for. Maybe not steak knives and non-stick grills but those Aipa’s sure look sizzling under his feet.

The tide ran out and the waves stopped. I think we will come back tomorrow and do it all again.

Can you see Filipe being beaten in head-high Keramas, cause I sure can’t.

Corona Bali Protected Men’s Round 3 (Round of 32) Results:
Heat 1: Julian Wilson (AUS) 12.23 DEF. Jadson Andre (BRA) 8.00
Heat 2: Michael Rodrigues (BRA) 12.27 DEF. Yago Dora (BRA) 3.57
Heat 3: Joan Duru (FRA) 12.14 DEF. John John Florence (HAW) 12.04
Heat 4: Wade Carmichael (AUS) 11.63 DEF. Deivid Silva (BRA) 11.44
Heat 5: Jack Freestone (AUS) 11.26 DEF. Italo Ferreira (BRA) 4.77
Heat 6: Jeremy Flores (FRA) 13.74 DEF. Willian Cardoso (BRA) 11.34
Heat 7: Conner Coffin (USA) 10.33 DEF. Griffin Colapinto (USA) 7.33
Heat 8: Kolohe Andino (USA) 14.54 DEF. Ricardo Christie (NZL) 8.37
Heat 9: Filipe Toledo (BRA) 13.00 DEF. Caio Ibelli (BRA) 7.13
Heat 10: Ryan Callinan (AUS) 11.76 DEF. Seth Moniz (HAW) 9.50
Heat 11: Kelly Slater (USA) 12.50 DEF. Owen Wright (AUS) 8.30
Heat 12: Michel Bourez (FRA) 9.13 DEF. Rio Waida (IDN) 8.10

Corona Bali Protected Men’s Round 3 (Round of 32) Matchups:
Heat 13: Gabriel Medina (BRA) vs. Leonardo Fioravanti (ITA)
Heat 14: Mikey Wright (AUS) vs. Adrian Buchan (AUS)
Heat 15: Kanoa Igarashi (JPN) vs. Peterson Crisanto (BRA)
Heat 16: Jordy Smith (ZAF) vs. Jesse Mendes (BRA)

Corona Bali Protected Men’s Round 4 (Round of 16) Matchups:
Heat 1: Julian Wilson (AUS) vs. Michael Rodrigues (BRA)
Heat 2: Joan Duru (FRA) vs. Wade Carmichael (AUS)
Heat 3: Jack Freestone (AUS) vs. Jeremy Flores (FRA)
Heat 4: Conner Coffin (USA) vs. Kolohe Andino (USA)
Heat 5: Filipe Toledo (BRA) vs. Ryan Callinan (AUS)
Heat 6: Kelly Slater (USA) vs. Michel Bourez (FRA)
Heat 7: TBD
Heat 8: TBD

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Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
7 years ago

You really need to add “Caio” to your computer’s dictionary 🙂

f u
f u
7 years ago

hey Longtom,
I need a new book to read, got any suggestions?

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
7 years ago

Seems impossible
To write about Kelly and
Not mention surfboards?

Sea Rider
Sea Rider
7 years ago

JJF’s Throwing Caution the Wind airs, mean Layback hacks and Deep TubeRides should have easily beaten the repetitive backhand snaps of his less talented competitor. Crazy if the score difference in scores was the end section as that is a wobbly lame 2ft section that shouldn’t factor nearly as much as the go for broke outside turns. Bummed for all our viewing pleasure as now we are without the most talented surfer in the world to watch.

f u
f u
7 years ago
Reply to  Sea Rider

I agree

Pedro
Pedro
7 years ago

Judge Judge Florence lost and got angry because wasn’t helped.
The heat he won against Gabriel in a wipe out was enough.
If this goes to every surfer on tour, it also should go to Judge Judge Florence.
Also the air Duru landed was better than the one Judge Judge landed. Fact!

SinglefinDook
SinglefinDook
7 years ago
Reply to  Pedro

Duru’s air was whack. Big but out of control, looked like a moguls skier from the 80s.

f u
f u
7 years ago
Reply to  SinglefinDook

totally amatuer

ST
ST
7 years ago
Reply to  Pedro

Haha if he was indeed being helped by the judges surely they would have got him through this heat? I mean all they had to do was give Joan the 5.5 he deserved for his last wave and John would have won?

Huli Opu
Huli Opu
7 years ago

Nice recap LT. Duru deserved it. JJ had his chance on that last wave at the buzzer but certainly the day’s highlight was old man Slater on that 5’8 Aipa.

Hippy
Hippy
7 years ago

I agree on Joan’s victory LT…. fan boys can’t see beyond their infatuation though so expect some push back.

Matt George is a fucking kook. I mean, Mr Bali.

Luke sounds like he’s talking through a massive amount of peanut butter in his mouth.

And yes, with Luke and Ronnie in the booth…. the Aussie always should win. I get pride and nationalism, but maybe the appearance of some impartiality should be expected? The cooking up of scores from the two almost make Joe and Marty palpable.

But the real question is why? Why? Another event held in crappy surf. Slower than slow heats, too many. With the fixation of women’s equal pay, why not see the real strength of the women’s draw? With half the competitors, the women are getting double pay and only need two days to run. How hard is that to accept, there are too many heats to run and what do we get as a result? “Slow” heats.

astro
astro
7 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

Yea – what’s with Mr Indo ?
“I speak for the natives coz they too dumb to express themselves.”
Fuck off.
Get a local in the booth, fools. Not some ex-pat !
Jebus shall strike you down for being dumb cunts.

Hippy
Hippy
7 years ago
Reply to  astro

Can not agree more Astro….

FUCK OFF Matt G.

Bring in Rizal, anyone other than that fuck.

SinglefinDook
SinglefinDook
7 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

I think it’s interesting how the vertical backside snap has become the move du jour besides maybe a big fs air. The first time I realized it was when Louie Eggs took out that Epic Trestles comp in the early 2000’s with perfectly placed bs hooks. However fast forward nearly 20 years and the formula remains the same and virtually unbeatable: wait for the sets, vertical hook on the pocket, repeat, maybe throw in slight tail slide for variation. We’ve seen it with Italo here before, with Gabe, with Owen and countless others and now Joan.

Hippy
Hippy
7 years ago
Reply to  SinglefinDook

I agree, but it’s all getting kinda boring in small waves. I’m so sick of air reverses winning heats. It’s all becoming dull as a butter knife until Felipe hits the water.

Truth is, Damien Hardman and Barton won titles going vert on their back hands. Late 80’s? Where is Nick, he’ll remember.

SinglefinDook
SinglefinDook
7 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

seriously right? If people who actually surf can barely sit through this, how does #ELO sell it to the masses?

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
7 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

You beat me to it. The only difference was those guys did the same move 5 times. Don’t get me wrong, I thought it was rad at the time. Nowadays they just mix it up with a tail slide on the second turn and the third turn is a hook to foam rebound. Then repeat as long as the wave will allow.

f u
f u
7 years ago
Reply to  SinglefinDook

so glad to hear that other people see the obvious

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
7 years ago

I don’t disagree and it is interesting to see it broken down. If JJF had of finished off his 2 scoring waves on his feet, even with an average finish, he would have won the heat. he surely must shoulder some of the responsibility for the loss. look back at the 4 scoring waves. could you really make the spread much bigger?

f u
f u
7 years ago

longtom.
sorry but backside snaps are simple and do not deserve the points they get.
doing the same move over and over again is for amatuers
I think we have very differnt ideas of what good surfing is

Ed
Ed
7 years ago

WSL = whitemans surf league

Can’t even get a indo to write the comp report…. Had to be a middle aged white bloke phoning it in from his first world country comfort.

Do you think it’s only fair for readers to know the truth ,by ,if you start each blog with “I wasn’t there but going on what I saw on YouTube “?

Dung beetle
Dung beetle
7 years ago
Reply to  Ed

Is this the first time you’ve seen beachgrit?

longtom
longtom
7 years ago
Reply to  Ed

fair points.
Don’t think there is any deception here, I attend them live, I watch the broadcast.
Fact is: you get a much better coverage of the action from the broadcast.

As for first world comfort, 100% more comfort at Keramas than my dingy back room.
But yeah, an Indonesian surf journalist would be worth hearing.

Hippy
Hippy
7 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Not fair points, what does Robnik think that BG is going to send LT to every tour stop?

And Youtube is 100% better viewing than in person.

in tubo veritas
in tubo veritas
7 years ago

Hard to understand how john’s layback hacks where a 9+ at bells but hear barely a six ..

Dung beetle
Dung beetle
7 years ago

Head high (generous account) waves vs overhead waves? I have a feeling keramas is much easier than the end section at big bells

Pedro
Pedro
7 years ago
Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
7 years ago

might be a bit naive but if you get on the losing side of a close call you really shouldn’t pin it all on the judging. regardless of who wins there is always going be “he was given the score because he was the underdog” v “he was given the score because he was expected to win”.

f u
f u
7 years ago
Reply to  Phat-wan kerr

you are a moron. go back too your video games

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
7 years ago
Reply to  f u

did you mean “you are a moron”
you kind of bogged that turn at the start and failed to really attack the end section. be lucky to get above 2.5.

f u
f u
7 years ago
Reply to  Phat-wan kerr

can’t read either?

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
7 years ago
Reply to  f u

pretty surf editing mistakes is against the BG code of ethics.

f u
f u
7 years ago
Reply to  Phat-wan kerr

you think this place has ethics?

Gwen Walz’s Eyes
Gwen Walz’s Eyes
7 years ago

It’s there or Moorea.l I like lefts. Haven’t taken a real trip in too long. Thanks.

Gwen Walz’s Eyes
Gwen Walz’s Eyes
7 years ago

Joan’s 6.17 should not have been the score. John will take that anger out on Margaret’s.

Gwen Walz’s Eyes
Gwen Walz’s Eyes
7 years ago

Might be there in a few weeks Twillsy. Mid June to early July a good call?

@surfads
@surfads
7 years ago

Watching Knights demolish St George while Ryan toweled Moniz was some tonic. But not enough.

Of my half a dozen participating elections this one hurt the most. How’s Sportsbet paying out Labor wins in advance? What were they thinking?

longtom
longtom
7 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

agreed. I asked in the other thread: what boat are you going on?

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
7 years ago
Reply to  longtom

the one run by the two Brazilian yoga instructors?

Mild mannered civil servant
Mild mannered civil servant
7 years ago
Reply to  Phat-wan kerr

I can attest to at least one half of that duo being a full GC after hanging with him at Watu Karung. He also charges and has interesting insights on his country men’s quirks in Indo.

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
7 years ago
Reply to  Phat-wan kerr

I know, when I read that article, I was wondering to myself, “OK, but which boat has the hot yoga chicks on it, cuz that seems to me to be one of the most important criteria for choosing a boat trip.” After looking at dudes all fucking day in the water and back on the boat for meals, a hot yoga chick on the boat would sure be a sight for sore eyes after a couple days away from the missus.

@surfads
@surfads
7 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Yeah Crystal charters or something

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

You’ll survive
And thrive!
Don’t forget the limes

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

As long as the needy waxheads can afford their boat trips, job done.
No thanks needed.

Captain Kremmen
Captain Kremmen
7 years ago

Here is one for you Longtom. Tom Carroll surfing in Quiksilver Country with a front foot ankle brace getting pitted at blown out ?Teahupo’o. Totally competent

longtom
longtom
7 years ago

I remember, with the mohawk and about 9% body fat.

David
David
7 years ago
Reply to  longtom

Also jjf in view from a blue moon in south africa

Mapski
Mapski
7 years ago

Lets not forget the Red Hot Chilli Peppers rocking the single sock.

Tom
Tom
7 years ago

Michel Rodrigues was rocking a front foot brace that looked like bootie – he won

Otto
Otto
7 years ago

“…Kelly Slater the “George Foreman of surfing”. That is a stretch comparing Kelly to the greatest pitch man in history but Kelly still has a long way to run.”

Is it?

If Kelly can’t take the Heat, he best get his grill out of the fucking kitchen.

Numbnuts
Numbnuts
7 years ago
Reply to  Otto

The real question is will the wave pool ever make us a much as the George Foreman grille??

Shore pound
Shore pound
7 years ago
Reply to  Otto

George Foreman is the Kelly Slater of grilling.

Otto
Otto
7 years ago
Reply to  Shore pound
Rod
Rod
7 years ago

Ryan will we win, one of the Newy crew will coward punch Mr Tumnus anytime now to ensure it

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
7 years ago
Reply to  Rod

Fuck Yeah. Rhino to upset Big Phil.
No way on the CP mate! we fight like men up this way.. Gotta say, the way Aussie’s changed “King Hit” to Coward Punch is something we all should be proud of though.
https://www.theherald.com.a…


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