"My dream now is that John wraps the Title at J-Bay and boycotts the tub, maybe releases a few clips sailing in the Tuamotus. Treats the Tour the way Kelly used to."
Never feel happier with pro surfing than when John John is winning in six-to-eight-foot surf. The business model as of June 2019 is him, and him alone.
For those of you who have never been to Western Australia, the state of excitement as my mate Diggsy likes to call it, it’s a windy place. Blow a goat off a chain windy.
I used to sit in the Kalbarri pub with my old skipper, day after day, watching the smooth white trunk of the Kalbarri eucalypts bent in half and the bar an impassable washing machine.
“It’s not so easy on the old blue briney,” he’d say.
The other thing: the offshore wind blows weakest just before dawn, so if you wake up and it’s 20 knots at Cape Naturaliste, the northern end of the Margaret river prominence, you know it’s only gunna get stronger. And harder to surf when you’re sitting 500 yards out to sea at Main Break. Great fun on an eight-foot single fin with a triple-six glass job.
Hard, hard work on a six-0.
Tatiana brushed past Sally Fitzgerald with a wave on the buzzer but it was the next heat that threatened to be the heat of the day. Carissa and Lakey went at it with plenty of hustle, not that we ever hear about it or get an insight into the fierceness.
Moore inexplicably gave a wave to Lakey and Lakey dismantled it.
All day it was the second turn that paid the biggest dividends, John proved that later in the event, and Lakey got an incredible whip through it against the grain of the wind. A late exchange went unscored for a long period of time, Peterson repeatedly waving her arms to call for the score.
Dominant win.
When John loses it’s because he falls on the last turn. Ala the loss to Adriano De Souza in 2015, ala the loss in Keramas. He fell on the first three waves he caught against Caio Ibelli despite really connecting with the opening turn of the opening wave.
God, he’s changed. Remember the Machado-like nonchalance? That would never stoop to engage in something as barbaric as a paddle battle? I thought the faux-hawk was bad juju at the start of the year but when he paddled straight over the top of Caio after the opening exchange it finally seemed fully warranted.
God, he’s changed. Remember the Machado-like nonchalance? That would never stoop to engage in something as barbaric as a paddle battle? I thought the faux-hawk was bad juju at the start of the year but when he paddled straight over the top of Caio after the opening exchange it finally seemed fully warranted.
It’s not quite a tragedy to see a nervous John John prepared to win ugly against an opponent with a superior record against him. Not if he wins in the end.
Which he did. He couldn’t close in a shaky, unconvincing performance. Caio was a zombie antagonist who would not die and in the final analysis he’s got grounds to feel a bit ripped.
In the end the judges did the work that John should have done to dispatch Caio.
What to say about the Julian/Kolohe semi. Not much. Both struggled to make any sense of an increasingly wind thrashed lineup. Julian tried to sell a very weak wave as a winning score with a claim even he didn’t look convinced with. Kolohe fell over the finish line with a couple of fives.
Tati never really looked capable of taming a steep section and that very awkward counter rotational upper body style seemed increasingly discontinous with the actual movement of the board through the water. Which is what Joel Parkinson correctly identified as the marker of a good surfboard top turn. Lakey took a lot of punishment and connected with the middle section to win easily.
I thought John’s equipment had looked a bit shakey during the semis. Bald tyres, lack of traction.
Bigger fins needed?
As you know, he elected to ride the same 6’0” Ghost (bee’s dick under 30 litres) in the Final with the same M fins.
Completes the first wave and he’s won the Final, I wrote in my notes.
We were three waves ridden in the Final before the broadcast kicked in.
Kolohe kicked it off with a seven and a four. John calmly finished for a 7.67.
It’s done, I wrote in my notes.
Andino had been talking a big game since the Gold Coast about a power attack that no one had seen and that he claimed was the equal of anyone on Tour. Cruelly, they played the audio grab before the Final began.
Reality delivered a humiliating riposte.
We were watching an interview with Lakey, the live surfing was on a small screen.
I wrote “Johns turns a notch below 2017” as he dropped in with the lip already breaking on his head. His riposte was not just to Kolohe but to the standard he set in 2017. The searing rail-buried-to-the-nose carve with extra rotational torque was there in the middle section of the wave. It was framed with extra variety in the repertoire with turns one and three.
The crux of the technical advantage of the Ghost is the way it breaks from the hydrostatic to the hydrodynamic, as seen in that late take-off. The forwards rocker and rail line engages quicker and more resolutely which means John was at the lip faster, in time, and with more speed. It was almost an unfair advantage.
It was about the easiest nine judges have had since 2017.
The crux of the technical advantage of the Ghost is the way it breaks from the hydrostatic to the hydrodynamic, as seen in that late take-off. The forwards rocker and rail line engages quicker and more resolutely which means John was at the lip faster, in time, and with more speed. It was almost an unfair advantage.
From that point on there were no vital signs left in Kolohe’s Final. It was time to reflect.
John is both saviour and executioner of the WSL business model. Their model has become two-pronged with the departure of Paul Speaker and the failure to find non-endemic sponsorship and broadcast deals.
On the one branch, WSL is building an entertainment company with control, manufacture and distribution of content. John is crucial to that success.
On the other, WSL is balls deep as a licensee and manufacturer of wave pool technology and IP. That dream looks dead in the water.
Do you remember the day it died?
Last year, after the most sustained and brilliant marketing blitz in sporting franchise history the WSL ran the Founders Cup in May. And John Florence, the best surfer in the World, falling and falling and looking at the tub like a fifteen-year-old with maths homework in front of her. It was a wholesale rejection, in body language if not actual speech. All that marketing brilliance made irrelevant in a single gesture.
My dream now is that John wraps the Title at J-Bay and boycotts the tub, maybe releases a few clips sailing in the Tuamotus. Treats the Tour the way Kelly used to.
But we dream too much.
The Final ended about emphatically as could possibly be imagined. John duckdived under Kolohe on a feathering set pushing him out of position and then spun on the next wave and delivered the best surfing of the event.
I never feel happier with pro surfing than when John John is winning in six-to-eight-foot surf. It seems a pay-off for the huge investment in time that pro surfing demands and so rarely delivers on.
The business model as of June 2019 is him, and him alone.
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Ha ha ha, yahhhh.
WA is always windy because hot air rises and as the huge desert heats up it brings onshores behind it. That is the reality of the WA surf experience.
What is the WSL business model exactly? Selling wave pools? Well it was a great idea but if it was going to take off, it would have by now. The economics don’t add up. So if it’s trying to be like the bloody WWE and make squillions off media, I don’t think JJ is the saviour of the WSL business model. At best the argument is a truism. The non-surfing community don’t know the difference and probably the wow factor is in spinning around in the air more than ‘speed power and flow. Heck, the airshow probably has more legs as a marketing strategy. Latin America is the untapped market. The US is stagnant in terms of sales and that equates to viewing numbers. Until surfing becomes cool again the WSL would be better off making Gabby the poster boy rather than JJ.
If the model is really about selling the media rather than being a vehicle for surf companies to sell clothes, they might want to have a word to Rip Curl and Vans, who own the rights to Bells and the Triple Crown. They may well ‘own’ the other events but they don’t own those.
I know zero about Longtom. ‘cept he’s the best surf jouralist. now.
At the time, I had to get what I was there for!
John was super annoyed by the then still semi live plan to re-shuffle the world tour which had seemingly fucked up Pipe. He was not the only one. Surfer resistance was a big part of why the WSL didn’t proceed with the shuffle.
Sounds right — I honestly had forgotten all about that plan, ha!
steve, would you please follow me to see if this is correct?
you are saying that:
john actually lost to conner at dbah
john actually lost to gabe in bells
john actually lost to caio in margs
if im not wrong you also think he won against joan in bali. but isnt it all a bit lame? I think his surfing is head and shoulders ahead of the field but he needs to win his fuckin heats ffs
Valeou, campeao!
And by benefitting the WSL, that puts on this show, isn’t the benefit, ultimately, to us!🤷🏽♂️
Most Brazzas are assholes in any lineup. Solo maybe ok, more they’re pricks-like hyenas, one and they’re a slinking coward, a pack and they’re all loud and snaking cunts.
Good god, has there been a better piece written about pro surfing? I hope Derek reads this, I think even he’d be Impressed.
Hynd, I presume…
Is there any other, worthy?
The box was entertaining, but they had to move it or Jack would’a won the comp. He dominated everyone.
Main beach is so boring to watch three turns maybe battling it, it just stresses you out watching dudes just fight trying to surf that spot. With swell like that there has to be other spot in WestOz firing right? Like where Taj is shredding and barbecue’ing, post surf? I feel like there is an option that still support West Oz folk ad biz and showcases way better waves/surfing. Am I wrong?
Yes, you’re wrong. If you found what John was doing boring, you’re probably a VAL.
good, now move along
Yah — no one’s reported on it, because only two people were involved in the discussion, JJF and SG, and they’re the only ones who know exactly what was said. Perhaps some people close to JJF know, but they were not there for the conversation. It was just the two of them, no staff, no entourage.
Some details: The conversation took place after the awards ceremony at Founders and as security was clearing the venue. I was there for a US men’s magazine and I’d just interviewed Kelly after awards. I was waiting to talk to SG. I’m fairly certain I was the only media person left at the venue — the people I traveled there with were waiting for me, engine running 😉
The body language was pretty tense and JJF wasn’t super happy about something. SG seemed to be trying to bring him around.
I was not close enough to hear anything and I had a PR minder sitting on me. To get the interviews I needed for this particular assignment, I had to go the official, through PR channels route — not the way I really like to work, but sometimes, it’s the only possible way. I can’t really go home to a magazine editor empty handed [shruggie]. A girl has to do what’s necessary.
Thanks to the PR minder I could not get close enough to overhear anything. PR guy also kept up a steady stream of chatter — either to keep me from noticing too much of the JJF convo or just, you know, PR people tend to chat a lot. That also meant I couldn’t stealth grab an image or anything.
Later, I passed what information I had to DR, because I knew I couldn’t get anything more on it. I figured he had a better chance of that than I do. I also figured at some point maybe he’d hear something or whatevs that might make sense of it.
So yah, that’s the story there. Unless JJF wants to tell us what that thing was about, we aren’t going to find out.
When BG published an article about that very discussion, at the time I suggested we take the video footage and send it to a lip reader. NFL teams hire li readers to gain an edge on play calls which is why you see coaches covering their mouth with their play card.
Yah — unfortunately, there’s no video.
Amazing! You want video of Kelly Slater arm wrestling two groms? We got it! You want video of JJF airing grievances to Sophie? Sorry, not compelling enough. You want to watch JJF’s first wave in the Margaret River Pro live? Sorry, can’t help you but we do have this sweet ad for you to enjoy.
Maybe it’s always that farkin windy in WA, but to this home viewer it looked nearly uncontestable. Shame to see such dismal heat totals in the finals rounds, especially with a week of building (to XL) swell on the way.
The weirdest thing to me is it seems like the majority of the brazzo super fãs don’t even surf. Just average people who saw Medina on Canal OFF, Brazilian TV shows, etc and jumped on the national bandwagon.
Done a survey have you
They’re probly busy boning all your bitches
Don’t be a troll-xa, ce sabe q é verdade!
Eu não.
Rivalries in any sport always play well. I’m a huge hockey fan and nothing is more exciting than Rangers-Islanders, Rangers-Devils and Rangers-Flyers.
Especially when the biggest rivalry is between your two best surfers.
6 Americans in the top 10. Aussie bitches!
PT and Ian’s dream finally comes into fruition ?
Yeah-it’s only taken, what, 40 years – without Slater or Lisa, pretty bloody slim pickins – and I see you’re claiming Hawaiians – so it’s really only 3 – and it looks like you’re claiming Kanoa too – so it’s still only 3!
i still haven’t come to grips with the fact that the tub, the bump bath, is actually a thing that will return. in my mind it’s still like the nyc event, a fun diversion, but a one off novelty.
KA looked like someone who had been taught to surf well, JJF looked like someone who belongs there and nowhere else. his celebrations look ingenuine, as if he can’t work out why he should be celebrating something that is so natural.
Kolohe is what happens when parents want their kids to be pro sarfers.
What, number 2 in the world? Dino would be stoked!
The QuickPro wasn’t in NYC, and us locals of the actual contest location would like to remind everyone that there are never waves here. That contest was an anomaly, don’t bother coming here.
yeah, long beach, i know. that wasn’t a detail i thought was necessary to my point.
whoever wrote the intro to the MR contest should be defingered.
Defingered! What a great word, died laughing.
upvote for defingered 😀