Gimme: Jamie Brisick’s exceptional non-fiction collection Dazzling Blue!

Chas Smith

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It's the golden era of surf writing!

We live in a golden era of surf writing and I think it is impossible to argue otherwise. William Finnegan won a Pulitzer Prize for his surf book Barbarian Days. Matt Warshaw has refined his Encyclopedia of Surfing entries into art. Derek Rielly dances in a delicious, singular literary style so delicious as to taste like dessert. Nick Carroll, seasoned and prolific. James Bickerton, able to turn the most subtle phrase into high-brow laughs. Wiggolly’s Paddling Style, able to turn the most subtle phrase into fine Australian art…

…I could go on all day but my list of golden era surf writers will always end with one of the most important.

Jamie Brisick.

The one-time professional surfer loves the craft of writing more than anyone I know. I’ve had the privilege of sitting with him on a few occasions now, talking about writing, talking about writers, talking about style, voice, tone, mashing words together, thoughts… all of it. Jamie is a writer’s writer and his new non-fiction collection Dazzling Blue is some of his finest work to date.

I read it on a PDF on my computer, the worst way to read anything but testament to how good it actually is. Taste this paragraph with me.

Short, bow-legged, blond silky hair and a blond thick moustache, Mickey Rat rode a yellow single fin, awing pintail caked with thick beads of dirty wax. Like many surfers of the era, he drove a van with a mural on the side—a Monument Valley-looking scene with a howling coyote atop a rocky peak. Mickey Rat wore powder blue boardshorts. His shoulders were broad; his upper chest hairy and dotted with freckles. He had a terrific tan. He did not walk from the Malibu parking lot to the top of Third Point, he trotted. If the surf was really good he ran. At water’s edge he set his board down on the sand and went through a quick calisthenics routine—jumping jacks, toe touches, windmill arms, karate kicks. Then he slipped out of his boardshorts, tied ‘em around his neck , strapped on his leash, and paddled out.

Delicious, no?

Support the arts here!

Official: Kelly Slater begins his 2020 Olympic campaign by partaking in upcoming World Surfing Games!

Chas Smith

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The 11x World Champ ruffles his feathers and prepares to fly!

But did you ever doubt? Did you ever think quietly to yourself in a dark moment, “11 x World Champion Kelly Slater is too old for the Olympics and won’t be able to qualify anyhow so will have to watch from the grandstands as Kolohe Andino and John John Florence drape themselves in the Stars and Stripes and get put on Wheaties boxes like Dan and Dave…”

Well, I can only assume that shame is washing over you heavily in this very moment. The very moment that 11 x World Champion Kelly Slater takes his first step in an attempted qualification.

Per the ISA rules, each country gets two men surfers and two women surfers and those will be the top two in the World Surf League rankings on both the men’s and women’s sides.

Currently, Kelly Slater sits 8th, officially behind both Kolohe Andino and John John Florence but, recall, John John is currently injured, though continuing to train for the Olympics himself.

That means Kelly Slater is, as of now, the second best American surfer.

Also, per the ISA rules:

“The Surfer must make him or herself available for their respective national team for participation in the 2019 and 2020 ISA World Surfing Games; and (t)he Surfer must accept the nomination of his or her NF to take part, and must actually take part, in any or all of the above ISA World Surfing Games.”

Please don’t ask me why the ISA left the (t) out of (the) in the rules as it’s not important. What is important is the fact that Kelly Slater will be surfing in these World Surfing Games, happening in Miyazaki, Japan this Sept. 7 – 15. His United States of America teammates include Kolohe Andino and Conner Coffin.

The great surfer from Cocoa Beach, Florida is setting himself right up for his Olympic run and you should be excited, as I am, but early this morning I had a better thought.

As you well know, Kelly Slater comes from Syrian stock. Imagine what a powerful statement it would be for the greatest professional of all time to swap nationalities, like Kanoa Igarashi, and go chase gold for the Syrian Arab Republic?

I think it would be the most wonderful story of all. He could bring peace to the Middle East and isn’t that what Kelly has always wanted? To bring peace to the Middle East?

Kelly, if you’re reading think about it. Think about that gold around your neck and that Nobel Peace Prize on your shelf.

A fine bookend to a fine career.

Collab: The World Surf League and Rolling Stone join forces to “celebrate the world’s best surfers!”

Chas Smith

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Smell the glove!

There is almost nothing I love more than a smart collaboration. Two brands, or groups, coming together to make, or showcase, one thing. Like Bone, Thugs-N-Harmony x Phil Collins. Or U2 x Apple. Brilliant, successful and highly lucrative and the latest collaboration between our World Surf League and Rolling Stone magazine is all this and more.

Now, I see you scratching your head, saying, “Rolling Stone magazine? Didn’t that go out of business, like, ten years ago?” But it didn’t and it is rude of you to think so. Also, I see you thinking, “Rolling Stone is a music magazine.” And, “Rolling Stone has not mattered for two decades.” And, “Rolling Stone?”

All rude, short-sighted and mean-spirited.

The press release? But of course!

LOS ANGELES, California (Monday, August 12, 2019): Rolling Stone, the number one global brand in music publishing and media, today announced a partnership with the World Surf League (WSL). As part of the new partnership, Rolling Stone will celebrate the elite athletes competing on the WSL Championship Tour, the series that crowns the men’s and women’s world surf champions each year.

Rolling Stone will devote significant editorial backing to the project, including features and photos essays in the magazine as well as video and digital content. Athletes featured in the partnership include Stephanie Gilmore (reigning 7X WSL Champion), John John Florence (2X WSL Champion), Coco Ho, Lakey Peterson, Tatiana Weston-Webb, Conner Coffin and more.

“The athleticism, drama, and adventure of pro surfing is a perfect fit for Rolling Stone readers, who count on us for the most cutting-edge cultural content in the world,” said Rolling Stone President Gus Wenner. “Rolling Stone is thrilled to partner with the World Surf League on a slate of joint initiatives that celebrate the world’s best surfers and the Championship Tour as music is such a critical part of surfing and life on the tour.”

“Rolling Stone is legendary in the music industry and it’s really awesome to work with such an iconic brand,” said 7X reigning WSL Champion Stephanie Gilmore. “I’m passionate about music and there’s a strong natural connection with surfing, which makes this an extremely exciting partnership. Rock and roll.”

I sometimes wish that our World Surf League would come to me for press release quotes. Steph Gilmore is brilliant, don’t get me wrong, but I would love the opportunity to say, “Rolling Stone magazine? Didn’t that go out of business, like, ten years ago? Why is the World Surf League doing a collaboration with a music magazine that has not mattered for two decades. Are you sure this is a collaboration with Rolling Stone?”

I’m waiting by my phone, ELo!

Terror: “My tranquil seaside paradise has been transformed overnight into a Great White-infested hell!”

Chas Smith

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North County, San Diego experiences a shark boom!

North County, San Diego is not what would be called a “dangerous” place. Hugging the gentle coast just south of Camp Pendleton, the communities of Oceanside, Carlsbad, Encinitas and Del Mar are upper-ish-middle-class and impossibly comfortable. Very little violence and Mexican restaurants owned and operated by a woman named Diane Powers. Many Lexuses. The beaches are sandy and the waves that roll in are inviting, playful, easy to catch and easy to push children into, sharing the Pastime of Kings with future generations.

Many Sprinter van conversions.

Except these days, chances are if you are out pushing children into waves in North County, San Diego you will be pushing them directly into the gaping maw of a shark and it is true. This tranquil seaside paradise has been transformed overnight into a Great White-infested hell.

I don’t know how it happened and I don’t know what is to blame but beaches have been shuttered, from Oceanside to Del Mar, as the angry beasts patrol just offshore. Nibbling on seals but just waiting for a plump human belly filled with sizzling fajitas from Diane Powers. Never in my almost decade living here, and four decades visiting, have I even thought about sharks. They were Mendocino County’s problem. Byron Bay’s. But now they are everywhere, multiple sightings per day by trustworthy sources like professional snowboarder Todd Richards.

Surfers chased from the water every hour. Surfers congregating in parking lots, around Sprinter van conversions, washing the sand of their feet with customized hoses and staring at each other, wide-eye’d.

Del Mar’s chief lifeguard, John Edelbrock, told the Coast News Group that most of the sharks the lifeguards have seen in their area have been juvenile sharks, which are about 6 to 7 feet long. The sharks’ behavior has been docile — “not aggressive in any way,” he said.

Oh.

Maybe I got a little carried away here.

But also, just wait until one of these juveniles nibbles on a plump human belly filled with seafood chimichangas from Diane Powers.

It will be the end.

And tell me, do you ever think of sharks when you paddle?

Will you now?

Waves are little but pretty as anything.

Claim: Six* plunger-powered wavepools planned worldwide! Five bucks a wave!

John Wayne

By

Each tank a thirty-mill build, twenty of that going to the monstrous plunger…

At precisely six pm tonight, Sydney time, nine am in London and a brutish four am in New York, the company that wants to take plunger-powered waves to the world held what it called an “investment information webinar”.

Over the course of a 45-minute presentation followed by a 15-minute Q and A, investors learned “about the status of our prototype testing, business model for growth, anticipated commercial locations and the profit potential for investors.”

What’s the news?

Four Heads of Agreements have been signed (although these are non-binding), 13 Requests for Proposals have been completed and a number of interested parties (wisely) are waiting on the final testing before committing.

Surf Lakes says they’ve had enquires from over 300 entities across 47 countries. Potential investors have included owners of theme parks, ski resorts golf courses and property developers.

Surf Lakes management says it’s not unreasonable to expect a wavepool in most biggish towns in the next five-to-ten  years. They say 20 are already planned worldwide.

The company says we need to start thinking of wavepools as sports stadiums or cycling tracks. Surfing has a broad enough community engagement so why shouldn’t it attract money from state and local government authorities to pay for the infrastructure?

What’s it cost for a plunger tank, in Australian dollars?

Thirty mill, with twenty of that going to the wave-generating equipment.

By comparison, an American Wave Machines setup (Waco) will cost $10 million, Wavegarden Cove $28 million and KS Wave Co $30 million.

From a productivity perspective, and presuming no breakdowns, Surf Lakes’ 5-Waves technology produces 2,400 waves in the same time that Wavegarden spits 1,000, American Wave Machines 300 and KS Wave Co 20.

Productivity-will-make-you-the-money is the mantra at Surf Lakes.

Surf Lakes estimates it costs 30 cents a wave in energy and another $2.20-ish in wages, filtration etc. They suggest operators charge $50 an hour for 10 waves or five bucks a wave.

It ain’t a bad margin.

Bear in mind these waves are going to be 15 seconds long, max.

Which is significantly less than Slater’s pond but almost twice as long as Waco.

And, now the bad news.

None of us are gonna surf Yeppoon. Well, not for a very long time. Even the shareholders are struggling to get their share at the moment.

For now, its all about potential licensee sales.

(*Editor’s note: an earlier version of this story announced twenty plunger-powered pools worldwide. It was twenty wavepools across all technologies. Surf Lakes are planning six plungers over the next three years.)

Photo: Steve Sherman/@tsherms
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