The 11x World Champ ruffles his feathers and prepares to fly!
But did you ever doubt? Did you ever think quietly to yourself in a dark moment, “11 x World Champion Kelly Slater is too old for the Olympics and won’t be able to qualify anyhow so will have to watch from the grandstands as Kolohe Andino and John John Florence drape themselves in the Stars and Stripes and get put on Wheaties boxes like Dan and Dave…”
Well, I can only assume that shame is washing over you heavily in this very moment. The very moment that 11 x World Champion Kelly Slater takes his first step in an attempted qualification.
Per the ISA rules, each country gets two men surfers and two women surfers and those will be the top two in the World Surf League rankings on both the men’s and women’s sides.
Currently, Kelly Slater sits 8th, officially behind both Kolohe Andino and John John Florence but, recall, John John is currently injured, though continuing to train for the Olympics himself.
That means Kelly Slater is, as of now, the second best American surfer.
Also, per the ISA rules:
“The Surfer must make him or herself available for their respective national team for participation in the 2019 and 2020 ISA World Surfing Games; and (t)he Surfer must accept the nomination of his or her NF to take part, and must actually take part, in any or all of the above ISA World Surfing Games.”
Please don’t ask me why the ISA left the (t) out of (the) in the rules as it’s not important. What is important is the fact that Kelly Slater will be surfing in these World Surfing Games, happening in Miyazaki, Japan this Sept. 7 – 15. His United States of America teammates include Kolohe Andino and Conner Coffin.
The great surfer from Cocoa Beach, Florida is setting himself right up for his Olympic run and you should be excited, as I am, but early this morning I had a better thought.
As you well know, Kelly Slater comes from Syrian stock. Imagine what a powerful statement it would be for the greatest professional of all time to swap nationalities, like Kanoa Igarashi, and go chase gold for the Syrian Arab Republic?
I think it would be the most wonderful story of all. He could bring peace to the Middle East and isn’t that what Kelly has always wanted? To bring peace to the Middle East?
Kelly, if you’re reading think about it. Think about that gold around your neck and that Nobel Peace Prize on your shelf.
A fine bookend to a fine career.
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No, it’s hierarchical with wsl at the top (2 spots per country). You only need the world surfing games if you miss the wsl cut.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/…
Still a bit hard to make sense of. But it looks like you can’t just drop all CT surfers into the games. If you did, you’d have way too many surfers from the us, Australia and Brazil competing.
Geez I get credit in Longtom’s article for being a ‘commenter of note’ saying it’s almost unfair to introduce people to surfing but nothing for suggesting Kelly compete for Syria. Woe is me as surely I am the only one who thought of this.
By the way, isn’t there a bit more to the thing about competing in the world surfing games?
I thought the top two from each country in the WSL rankings get parachuted into the Olympics, and only then are the rest of the 20 spots filled by non-WSL represented countries based on the world surfing games placings.
That’s there the convoluted possibility of the coveted 3rd national competitor comes into play.
What it says to me is the WSL surfers are only competing in the world surfing games in order to get that third spot on their national team. You don’t want to leave it until pipe to finish top 2 in your national qualifying based on WSL ranking.
It’s a bit convoluted how that third spot gets allocated (the wording is all mumbo jumbo). But is seems like if there are no surfers from random counties like (say) Barbados or Costa Rica who qualify via the games, then they have to divvy up the remaining places to WSL surfers.
So what happens to JJF, who can’t compete in the ISA games because of injury, if he still finishes before Kelly on the tour and is fit to surf in the olympics? does he get shafted because he missed the ISA games?
He can theoretically compete in the 2020 ISA Games!
I was hoping some kind of Blood Feud would surface between the King and his Prince but looks JJF can still get in.
Is the Fukushima ravaged region really that hazardous or is it testament to Kelly’s competitive nature that even he will risk dipping his toe in there?
Kelly is the greatest troll in surf. Respect.
A glimpse of his mind games employed in competition?
They left out the the t because they’re (sic) cunts
😂 Good stuff Chas
#upthesyrians 🇸🇾
The line, commitment and release of Kelly’s photographed turn are exceptional. The amount of spray from that POS board is ridiculous, so much power and drive on equipment built for pivots…. hard to fathom.
Add Gland and bring back Cloudbreak to the schedule and he’s suddenly not too old.
If he could just stay of IG….
The pituitary gland?
adrenochrome
Inorganic recycled fish net peace is absurdly expensive.
Slater, Dirk, Fernando just won’t rest it seems untill surfing is full on mainstream. Doesnt having his own personal wave tank give Slater an unfair advantage over other Olympic hopefuls…….
And why, when you are so insistent in your belief of just catching and riding a few waves of your own, or whatever the shite you spout is, do you spend all your time following and commenting on surf media?
Why don’t you just go surfing and ignore it all?
You’re here too, you egg.
I’m not here constantly moaning about surfing being too popular or calling everyone surf groupies and referencing Miki Dora as if he were some kind of hero instead of a fat thieving wank.
Fair enough mate, my apologies.
Thank you. Thought I was the only one not in love with M Dora.
Mo Cole almost murdered me for writing that Dora is the most overrated surfer of all-time!
oh I am still here……..not murdered but maybe a damn good lickin a la Ms Cyrus!!
I can’t wait to hug you again…
great writer.
Did you get my email?
Edit: 7 hours later – I guess not.
I did. I’ve just been very busy and not very interested in surf related things. Apologies.
Don’t recall mentioning much surf in the email.
Ok Miki Dora was not a fat thieving wank , silly seppos made him a hero , he just loved surfing , hated the bullshit , as he watched surfers turn into smurfers!
That cut is still the sickest turn in surfing, taking out 3 generations and keeping him competitive with a 4th.
S is for S Turn and Slater , and as everyone in the commentary booth has been tryin to remind him , leave the lip alone and get out on the face and get up off that thing ( ha! ) and twist ‘till to you feel better
Take it away Jimmy Brown https://youtu.be/1_uNMy20qAI
Why can’t Dirk, Fernando, the Isa, Wsl and Kelly just leave us alone– surfing used to be just fine under the radar…..
Surfing hasn’t been under the radar for 40 years you absolute cunt.
Chazz, you’re back!
Absolutely not.
This place needs a strict cull.
Or a few gallons of petrol and a box of matches.
sounds like work for someone I know.
how they hanging?
Or a standard-issue Browning, holstered discreetly under a carefully tailor suit?
Mr. Bond?
But perhaps some SUP yoga in your nearest freshwater body would reinvigorate your sense of awe for Miki Dora’s superhuman marvellousness?
Always easy to spot the guy whose doing the least amount of Surfing on a comment board…
Right now I’m sure that’s me, I’m not sure I even care.
Picking on the slow kid today? Pretty brave.
You’re the cunt that’s just labelled him a “slow kid” for all the world to see.
But I’ll pick on you instead if you want?
Carry on CMM the destroyer of worlds
You’re right. That was unnecessary dickish. Sam, if you read this, I am Sorry for punching below the belt.
I surf the no mans land, I surf the bombed out cities. I do airs over the canyons of debris, I traverse the seas in despair and travel the deserts in a caravan of human misery. Hummer, official sponsor of the Syrian surf team.
Love a hummer.