The missing link, yes?
A little while ago, a lesbian big-wave surfer whom I’d previously thought lovely and reasonable, got steamed up when I suggested, in passing, that two failed take-offs did not a big-wave world title make.
The surfer issued an invitation on Instagram for readers to pile on, which they did with gusto. Some very good points were raised with The Inertia’s Zach Weisberg and Blue Crush lead Kate Bosworth making fine cameos.
Read that here. And here.
I’m not sure why, I certainly didn’t complain, but the Instagram post was deleted.
Anyway, the world titles-being-handed-out-at-single-events thing demonstrated that there was nothing stopping BeachGrit from anointing our own world champion.
Given there isn’t a wavepool tour or world champion, and given the innumerable world titles already birthed, big-wave, small-wave, amateur, Olympic, junior and so on, the matter seemed obvious.
I thought Stab High was a very good idea, although the number of competitors too many.
So.
I would contact each of the major pools: Waco, the new builds of the Cove in Melbourne, Bristol and so on, ask for ’em for use of the pools, get a blanket sponsor, sign up a dozen non-WSL surfers (WSL surfers are embargoed from competing in non-company events) and, at the end of the little tour, give out a trophy and crown our own world champion.
My comrades at BeachGrit thought the idea dumb and it progressed no further.
With Kelly’s pool being the centre of attention and without permission from the BeachGrit politburo, I’ll ask:
Would you drop a ravenous mouth on the nipple of a wavepool tour and the subsequent crowning of a Chlorine Champ?
The world title trophy would be a belt buckle fashioned to look like a surfer on a wave at a cost of several hundred dollars, including luxury presentation case.
The women’s champion would receive the same belt buckle.
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When that tour happens, I will be going to Poolgrit.com for details and analysis.
I feel like the Freshwater pro didn’t expose wavepools weakness’s, it exposed pro surfers weakness’s in wave pools. Medina finally proved that watching someone compete/surf Slater’s pool could be worth my time. Anyway, you don’t have to hold any contests, it’s safe for BG to crown Medina the single contest Wave Pool World Champion for 2019.
In a word? No. I scroll through any/every Instagram post featuring a wavepool.
One more tour stop added in Canada.
https://southbritannia.com/
DR, you neglected to mention that the world title of one contest had no waves ridden successfully…..which begs the question if was even a contest.
Looking forward to your resumption of shark anecdotes and a new quitters handbook. More clicks than the CT can generate.
I think a Beach Grit pool specialty tour could spice things up and show that professional surfing can be fun again.
Does the belt buckle champ get a wildcard to
Pipeline?
Oh, no, but he can use his winner’s cheque to fly to Oahu and ride the big waves of the North Shore!
Derek save money and BeachGrit Studios can curate pirated tank footage from insta/YouTube and crown a champion without spilling your martini.
Actually the 2019 season is nearing its end- just crown a champion!
2019 Leaderboard:
1. USA- Waco- the kid who did the backflip before stab high.
2. AUS- Yeppoon- #1 Ben Player, 2# Occy
3. USA- Lemoore- Medina
4. France – Wavegarden- TBC
5. UK- Snowdonia – TBC
I think the new Champ is looking like the only person to surf two different tanks in a season.
Just surprise the winner with a giant cheque for $10 (Ala Surfline Wave of the Winter)
My cheque is in the mail, I know I know…
Today seems significant enough to toss these early aughts Oakleys into the ring. I’m stoked.
Soon as the upcoming WeWork IPO fraud allegations/investigation finish we should see if this dude can be our Dirk Ziff: https://www.businessinsider…
It’ll be mildly entertaining but you can engage us a lot more cheaply with a couple of shark stories
Transmission recommences tomoz morning.
Can we do slope style where there’s grind rails/boxes, coping set-ups, maybe some hoops to jump through and a weed sponsor?
If they can get Men’s Clinic International as a sponsor then they’ll win surfing.
Surely there’s some air variable rail grab that could be named the Boner Pill.
sorrry Keala but Emi won that contest.
Yes. Easily the quickest yes I’ve given, since my high school crush asked if I wanted her to help me lose my virginity.
How long did it take the guy she set you up with to cum?
23 seconds. But I encouraged a 2nd. And 3rd.
All surfers must ride a pink twinny from the 80’s, and winner(s) be flown to pipe in December, forced to participate in the OccCast. North Shore for the nowty’s.
Don’t hesitate, do it before wsl creates a pool tour and sanitises it death
I’m happy to be a stryder type talking head if needed, I’m cool with economy travel.
Don’t mention the drought
Dereks rollin in pussy bro
Watermelon of the year award?
you thinking something along the lines of “the beach grit amoeba masters” ?
Are you a copy writer? I think you’ve done it!
Speaking of–DMoney, any way you and Chas can let Lemoore GOAT be seasonal resident writer and offer weekly updates of the North Shore circus from Oct-December. Who is charging? Who is pulling back? Rumors in the night? Etc. Etc.
Don’t worry, as soon as the circus rolls in he’s the biggest name dropper on here.
Of course! Door open etc.