Much image rehabilitation instantly undone.
And you have, by now, certainly seen the stunning drone footage shot by eighteen-year-old Doheny local Payton Landass. There he was, lounging at his parents beachside home when he spotted the incredible; a giant grey whale, or blue whale according to Russia Today, casually swimming through the lineup. Landass, alertly, grabbed his drone and flew it overhead capturing what he correctly dubbed “an insane and surreal” tableau.
The particularly high tide allowed the stately beast to move so close to shore and casually flick her or his tail.
The clip is wonderfully moving and should have been a moment for our fractured world to come together in a celebration of nature’s majesty but has proven otherwise. The story and video went viral with mainstream media coverage mostly focusing on how the surfers in the lineup were “unaware” of the whale’s presence with a very thick insinuation that “unaware” should be read myopic, lazy and self-obsessed.
Surfers have, for years, tried to shake these stereotypes by participating in beach clean-ups and a rehabilitation of the “surfer image” has been the near-sole focus of our World Surf League. We are, in President Storyteller Erik Logan’s soft hands, “athletes, world-citizens, ecologically-minded wave tank builders.”
And yet one grey, or blue, whale swimming through a lineup unnoticed kicks us straight back to being a pack of naval-gazing Jeff Spicolis.
Too dumb to notice a behemoth.
Too addled to care.
Is the stereotype true? Should President Storyteller Erik Logan throw in the towel and greenlight “Box of Rocks” alongside his heart-stirring hit “Transformed” (three-thousand views and counting) wherein a gaggle surfers sit in a parking lot and argue about surfboard volume for three uninterrupted hours?
Maybe.
Probably even.
But would you watch?
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How is a surfer expected to focus on the whales in surf as critical as that? I would say those surfers had there minds occupied with the waves alone.
LOL
That is a classic California gray whale.
I’m here to surf not watch whales. I stay in my lane.
Kooks will be Kooks
Reason why nobody noticed the whale is the same reason these fuckwits always drop in!
some of the comments were pretty funny/pathetic…. the whale spouted, but they weren’t sure what it was…. ??
Have you ever seen so many tea bagging fuckwits in your life?
Whale thought the same…and got the hell out of there.
Anyone else seen ‘Frayed’ yet?
Set in Newy in late 80’s.
The fuckin music in that video! Reminds me of those annoying videos of nature that play on a flat screen at the back doctor. Supposed to promote serenity. It has the reverse effect on me.
Singapore Air boarding music…
dude, those waitresses are so fucking insane. the tight fitted dresses are ridiculous. the smiles, the apologies for waking me up…. so polite, so seductive. everyone deserves to go on those flights, wow. United by comparison hires the most angry senior citizen women who are counting the days until retirement and do not give a fuck. Fuck United and American, btw.
Yeah no complaints…well…other than their music being similar. Will put up with it as they’re bloody good at everything else
Remember when United used to be good?
took some regional flights on malaysia airlines, and was very surprised how hot the stewardesses were… not super revealing outfits but tight and curvy
To the ms media and the rest of the envious world, I must admit that we are all just oblivious, laid back Spicollies.
You would never want to live among us because we are so stupid….what’s more, next time it might be a giant great white shark sneaking up to violently rip our legs off for an afternoon snack.
So, wherever you are, for your own safety and sanity, stay there…plus surfing totally sucks anyway. Please don’t try it.
Thanks
Great advice. Plus look at the video. Surfing is just sitting on a board in wetsuit trying to avoid some loudmouth that wants to tell everyone about rolling trusses or how epic it was sitting around in the water in Tavarua. Complete waste of time.
Those srufers sure do looky like there havning a WHALE of a time!!!! !!!
Huh huh!!!
Maybe it’s the Prince of Whales!
Or Bob Marly and the Whalers!!
Or Whalin Jennings!! ! !!
….
(Getting this toxic load processed, so you don’t have to. You are welcome.)
You’re whalin on it bro!
I’m taking a bullet for you guys.
Edit: 13 hours later and I only get minor support for the excruciating pain of my sacrifice.
I’ll fucking remember this. Shows who’s a friend! Sho’nuff.
Where was big wave rider PETE “ the Hermanator “ MELville ? Moby’s Disco …..or Possibly searching for Ahab’s ( big wave tour ) missing leg ? Or just Playing Santa , Cruzing ….
His name is Landass?
Comes from a long line of people used to getting things landed in their asses. Greek, I believe
So stoked he dragged his
Landass off of his sofa
And into the sky
A brother from another mother ?https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
is he still alive? i think i saw him lose his marbles recently on news show of some sort. he was a kid musician right? tattooed his face or something.
Highly respected role model for the look at me too gen
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
thats him.. it was crazy. it was on tv.. the kid is a mess
Apparently he’s at war with his brother, the Nsync or backstreet asshole. Probably snaked his drugs or something
Must be an ice thing
I hope it washes off with a little soap ….
This is how you end up idolizing false surf media gods
God damn whales. Probably just back from eating excessive amounts of oxygen-producing plankton causing runaway climate change, and now here it is aggressively posturing through the line up, snaking and intimidating VALs. The ocean belongs to everybody, buddy, you can’t walk all over us like that.
Between whales, sharks and grumpy locals, I don’t even know if you could call the line up a safe, inclusive place anymore?
Whale gases are a major problem that people are over looking. Very selfish animals with zero regard for the environment.
Hope the drone filmer kid enjoys his 15 minutes, it’s all downhill from here kid.
This has all the makings of a Disney movie
Ride the ( not so ) Wild Surf meets Free Willy ?
“Grey willy needs a home”. The kid that filmed the footage will get millions in movie royalties and then will be on TMZ getting arrested in his ferrarri on PCH.
Like an exploding supernova…. like a candle in the wind .
Is it common practice in that part of CA to suit up with friends and just kind of float around for 1 hour on a surfboard on a flat ocean? Is there a VAL snack SUP operated by Matt George that paddles through selling acai bowls with hemp granola sprinkled on top to these punters?
they show up in droves, never even look at the surf and paddle out. did you see a single pulse through that lineup? only one that saw a massive whale breaching was a little kid. full clown show. but you should know, that “surf spot” is as benign as they get and doesn’t attract talent.
Uber Alles, California….
What happens after? They walk around the carpark in their suits for another hour talking about waves they wish they could catch?
They go to Starbucks in their suits. Then the later.
They probably discussed taking a class action out against the whale for ;
a)creating an ADRENALINE RUSH ……… way to much excitement
b)disrupting their tea party …… the child was forced to paddle
c)making waves which may have forced them to actually surf …… ?
It is a plague. Sprinter van’s show up filled with retro boards and kids…. they fall out not spilling their complicated coffee’s and adjust their hair, very important, then put their wetsuits on and run down the trail to the cove. I think the crowded parking lot says in “millenial” that the point is good, come on down, open party. I really can’t identify another reasoning. To look at crappy waves, crowded beyond belief and shoe horn yourself into very few if any opportunities….. ? That doesn’t seem to matter to them, it’s how they go surfing.
Doheny is a different ball of wax. Those are the same type people only over 50 and not enough energy to negotiate a breaking line up. They’ll go get donuts and visit a parking lot filled with vintage cars wearing Ryn Spooner shirts and admiring the old logs screwed into historic racks….. “remember when Trestles was closed to the public” type conversations in between bragging about their time shares in Mexico.
Incisive comments, hippy, right you the heart of the matter. LIke a surgeon. The
I commented before seeing this.
Did you get any clarity?
Wtf were they all doing there?
Maybe they were stricken with fear?
That a mystery 2ft set might wash them over the barnacled covered rock wall ?
How much of a bitch must your wife be to sit out in this all day rather than be home?
It’s almost like one of those Jeep ads where the guy has no wax on the board and the ocean is flat.
Yep . A bit like holding the Pipe Masters in July ……
This is what happens when there are so many Great Whites swimming around! Now, even Gray Whales think surfers should be thought of as a food source. These are some fucked up times we live in. Thank God those surfers realised that if you sit still you won’t trigger a Gray Whale’s predator instincts. Great Whites are the worst.
Endangered Species endangers …… surfers .
Mainstream Media: Surfers are myopic, lazy and self-obsessed.
Surfers: Yeah, that’s pretty tr…
ELo: Ooof, gee golly willakers, that’s harsh! I would have to say that this isn’t true, as every fellow ocean enthusiast I meet can attest. The surfing community is both dynamic and diverse, we’re not all derelicts. Here at the WSL, we are creating new content to highlight these different segments and dispel with mainstream stereotypes of surfers. Through our exceptional programming, including Sound Waves, Ultimate Surfer, Transformed, and The Taxidermist series, we are able to show a different side to the sport…
Surfers: Get fucked.
…
Today’s comment is brought to you by the number “1”, the color Gray, the letter “D” (for depression*), and the song “Carribean Queen” by Billy Ocean.
*caused by my recent preoccupation with thinking about the negative effects of aging, precipitated by mildly debilitating and exaggerated back pain and googling Asia Carrera in front zip springsuit and being confronted by recent photos of her.
I do so love the Count .
Aging sucks
Yep . To the Virgins , To Make Much of Time ……
Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying;
And this same flower that smiles today
To-morrow will be dying.
Faster than you think sometimes. Faster than you think.
There is a real possibility that some / most of the surfers ( ? ) were jealous that the whale had more length and volume than their rafts ?