"What’s embarrassing? Why the shade?"
Kelly Slater is a modern marvel, a wonder, a famous man willing to mingle with the lesser-thans. An iconic man happy to engage nobodies. And if you happen to follow Mick Fanning’s engaging Instagram account you can get your hooks in.
How?
Oh, Mick Fanning, two or three time World Champ (I can’t remember) posted an homage to J-Bay today, a beautiful turn underneath a rainbow sky. The comments, as you’d expect, were effusive with praise.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BzuuasyH2dZ/
“Always gonna be one of my favorites…”
“Best to ever do it…”
“Gorgeous shot…”
Etc.
But St. Christopher1, the patron saint of surfers, was less charitable, writing, “Just go surfing. Comps suck. @kellyslater is embarrassing and should of bowed out many moons ago!”
Well, Kelly came swinging in within minutes, asking for clarification, “what’s embarrassing? Why the shade?”
After getting hammered for a few hours St. Christoper1 backed right down and replied, “I apologise @kellyslater. It is confounding how these young men on tour have no financial backing they struggle. My point is that you have nothing to prove. You are a wonderful human. No question. In my opinion only without prejudice is that it could be time to allow a young man to be gifted his dream of being on tour and the tour to support them financially mandatory.”
Kelly’s final retort? “What makes you think I’m doing this to prove anything? I’m just having fun with it. And why should anyone be implored to give up a spot to anyone who hasn’t earned it? There are 30 guys on tour rated lower than me. Go talk to them.”
Then used his now famous lecherous emoji face.
So, if you “threw shade” on Kelly and he responded would you back down straight away?
And do you wish the man would step away and let some kid have a shot?
I don’t. When Kelly leaves for the final time I’ll roll my wheelchair onto the porch of the old folk’s home, where my child has sent me, and weep.
Typical Global Citizens.
I wish Kelly would come here and anonymously take down anyone “throwing shade”.
slater should retire, unless he has $ in the tour that will go broke without him.
Ben did.
What’s with the WP symbol he’s throwing. That’s a bit fucked up Chazza.
That’s the first thing I noticed too. (And it’s “…should *have* bowed…”)
No heat interests me more than one in which Kelly is surfing; unless Michael February is in as a wild card or they’ve gotten knocked out – then at that point it’s Kanoa.
don’t back down to anyone who writes “should of”. And Mr Smith, is it “an homage” or “a homage”?
“an” homage.
slater rossi and lots more 40+ guys just keep goin
What a goose christoper1. Only reason I watch WSL is because of Kelly.
Just “having fun”? Unlikely. Countless athletes who have spent a lifetime competing have found it difficult to break away gracefully. Sure, Kelly could always beat someone on tour. But so could Mike Tyson throw a knockout punch if he gave it a go enough times. The key is knowing when it’s time. That decision belongs only to the person who chooses to stay in the game. Because when the shows over, it’s their legacy alone. And how they choose to leave it is nobody else’s business.
“Shade” haha your a grown ass millionaire. How many times did people say Brett Farve should retire? What did he do? Sent dick pics to a hot chick. That’s a GOAT.
Kelly Slater dealing in person with every single detail including buzz feed = dude in comp mode 200%. Fight champ! Waiting for GOAT f***** magic!!
I liked Kelly better when he posted a pic of his boarding pass complete with united Air miles number and we all tried to log in as him and book free flights.
Hey Chas, what happened to your first ‘cover picture’ (with that funny salute) for this article? Kelly ask you to pull it?
Yes. Kelly wanted the white power hand sign pic instead. He felt it less embarrassing.
That’s what I thought.
Good on Kelly to tell like it is.
That’s the spirit ! Oh Captain my Captain ! Hit em where it hurts , not in the head or the solar plexus , but in their weak point , blind spot , Achille’s Heel , their social media inter subjective surfing myth ? Good on you Captain Scott S D .
BeachGrit lore has it that I once drew the ire of Dane Reynolds.
I was a fan before but and even bigger fan after.
Oh please, retell the story, you must.
Unfortunately I don’t remember the details but apparently Dane, using a nom de guerre, responded to my comment expressing his displeasure but then quickly deleted it.
Someone else saw his response and alerted me after the fact.
Ask Negs our very own Warshaw of shitty comments, or not
It was either him or Wigs who brought it to my attention so maybe they remember?
screen shot or it did not happen ha ha ha
That’s like Negs and I.
Exept he’s now a fan.
Tiny minds and all that.
kellys insecurities reveal a lot about how he really feels about how he got where he is.
well let’s face it, if you say stupid shit about someone you don’t know, then you look up and they’re standing behind you, then you feel like a fucking idiot.
Or you could just not say the stupid shit.
I think that’s less the point than why a beautiful man, who is rich beyond most people’s dreams and without peer in his sport, feels compelled to respond to every innocuous criticism? Why does it affect him so?
He wouldn’t last long here.
It’s the one way we’re all GOATs…
Because he’s in JBay and bored out of his fucking skull.
Don’t nobody read anymore? Jerk off into the hotel toilet bowl? Trawl the town for hussies who miss their daddies?
Well it’s possible to read, jerk off, and write nonsense on the Internet almost all at the same time!
I sense we can all attest to that.
No one wants to hear about you spanking your little pin dick over the toilet bowl mate. You’re making us all sick.
come off it Wiggs, it’s all you wanna hear about.
Yeah good one, Nick. Fuck sake.
He hasn’t written much worth reading since the ’80’s anyway . .
You really get me.
That’s the spirit. Read Beach Grit and then trawl the town for hussies. Ones with daddy issues, and ones who’s boyfriends or husbands just cheated on them and are hellbent on seeking revenge. Save the toilet jerking for later if you come back empty handed.
Wow , even with Sal being there … ?
Cos he’s a bald cunt. They are very edgy fuckers. Ready to do their nut at the slightest curl of the lip of a stranger.
Don’t forget the daddy issues.
Bald men. Like a ginger ninja but not as thick skinned as they didn’t have to fight every day between age 5 and 17.
He is probably just sitting down with the boys bored as batshit and they have a few bets as to how many hits they can get off the one message. He must love it how far one of his messages can go. It cracks me up. If it wasn’t for BG I would have no idea what he says.
Exactly. The secure facade is a Potemkin village.
You really say some stupid shit!
I really respect this comment. Good job.
Hell suck it up
Unlike old mate Slater.
C’mon Nick surely after a couple half strength shandys you’ve mustered enough courage to talk shit on ya little bro ?
I don’t know who you’re talking about
What would Juan Kempes say ?
Epiphany obviously occurred after editing tracks magazine.
That was stupid shit to say. None of us would be here if we didn’t want to say stupid shit about people we don’t know you stupid shit.
The elimination round of every event so far has done more than enough to show that there’s no need for anyone else to fill his spot at the moment…