Television, movies, a Dana White backed competition
show!
Oh what happy news. What wonderful happy news
and you should be as thrilled as the World Surf League’s President
of Content, Media and Angry Posted Then Subsequently Deleted
Twitter
Letters Aimed At Young Women Erik “ELo” Logan for he
has gone and done it.
He has gone and inked a development deal with the “trailblazing
production company” Pilgrim Media, part of Lionsgate, to produce
“…a variety of surf-centric sport and lifestyle content across all
formats and platforms. The endeavor is the first to be announced by
WSL Studios and will involve live and non-live unscripted projects,
as well as a range of distinct scripted opportunities.”
Breathless.
I’m breathless so would you allow me to collect myself while you
read the rest of the press
release?
Pilgrim, a Lionsgate Company, and WSL Studios have two major
undertakings in the pipeline already – a feature documentary and a
fresh nonscripted competition format for which the parties
partnered with the UFC’s Dana White – with several other programs
in active development. The venture will feature traditional surf
content like contests and clip shows, and will also shed light on
surf culture – spanning its roots to the worldwide emergence of its
own language and literature; music, film, fashion and other art;
lifestyle; social impact; as well as environmental and conservation
efforts.
“Partnering with Pilgrim from the onset of WSL Studios sets
the bar for the level of quality we are endeavoring to achieve,”
said WSL President of Content and Media, Erik Logan. “Their talent
for producing top-notch unscripted programming, particularly when
it comes to emerging sports, and their unmatched ability to capture
the inaccessible for audiences around the world make Pilgrim an
incredible partner for the WSL.”
Ok ok ok ok ok ok. So much to discuss.
Who’s going to be in the Dana White show?
Who’s going to become the brightest celluloid star out of the
entire WSL stable?
Should the WSL produce a Friends-style sitcom about life in the
booth starring Noah Jupe as Joe Turpel, Keanu Reeves as Ron “Dog”
Blakey, Tim Allen as Peter Mel and the robot from Short
Circuit as the ’89 World Champion Martin “Pottz”
Potter?
Tell me you’re not feeling it.
Tell me you aren’t breathless too.
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J-Bay Loser’s Round: “Jeremy Flores’ power
carves are the closest thing we have to vanished John John!”
When it comes to the vexed issue of Pro Surfing
we always think about winning because, let’s face it, we watch to
see the freakish and the inspirational. We rarely think about
losing but there is far more losing than winning and far more ways
to lose than win, so maybe it’s time we did.
Easy enough for scribes to fuck it up. This afternoon,
Australian Eastern Standard Time, they put the comp on hold and I
gambled it would be off for the day and started drinking early.
Voila, they called it on and it was either drink my way through
and lose all faculties or stop and deal with an early hangover
before the night was through.
I stopped and in this mild funk offer a brief anatomy of
losing.
In inconsistent and warbly speed-runners opportunity was scarce
but there were enough for three people to have a swing. Bede
Durbidge-lookalike Beyrick Devries found an early scorer then sat
out the back like a buddha statue in a Bangalow garden: spiritual
but impotent.
Jordy in the booth called bullshit on airs at J-Bay “It’s a turn
wave,” he said sternly, “a rail event.” Jack Freestone calmly
stomped an alley-oop with a late-tweaked rotation. Beyrick waited,
and his winning wave came. He limped along it, under surfed it and
failed to get the score required.
Way to lose number one: Surfing conservatively,
nervously or tentatively on a wave and leaving too much in the
tank. Worst way to lose.
Seth Moniz was all over heat two. The battle to avoid last place
was far more interesting. Ace Buchan fell off, and fell off again.
He was caught behind on a prime set wave. In the Aussie parlance,
having a shocker.
Couzinet had problems of a different dimension.
He had no idea what the wave was doing. Out of flow, turns in
the wrong spot. “Trying to find chemistry” as Ron Blakey so aptly
put it. A disjointed, jagged attack on the wave of the heat pushed
him into second place and it seemed like Ace’s shocker would be the
reason to lose. Ace blitzed a medium sized wave and got the score
to advance. Couzinet lost.
Way to lose number two: Inexperience at a specialist
wave resulting in an out of sync performance.
The only time we normally focus on losing is when the judges
take it into their hands and get the result wrong. Like when Fred
Morais got a ten at J-Bay 2017 and knocked out JJF. Freddie didn’t
need any judging help today. Nor did Jeremy Flores, the only surfer
in the Losers Round who looked capable of going anywhere in the
draw.
His power carves with the extra sting in the tail are now the
closest thing we have to JJF’s turns, with a more classic
configuration. It was Jesse Mendes who got sat in the dunce corner.
Two strong rides completed and a third set wave that didn’t quite
co-operate. In the end, the numbers didn’t add up.
Way to lose number three: Outsurfed by superior
opponents and not enough risk taken.
Heat tour was an all-Brazilian affair and I thought Jaddy Baby
might suffer the same fate as Jesse Mendes. Not self-destruct but
just fail to bring enough firepower to the heat and be scored too
low. Which has been his problem his entire CT career, apart from
the big win over Slater in Brazil in 2010.
How do get past that? You bring your best, good enough to win QS
events until the crack of doom and CT judges look at it and say
“Nah mate, not good enough.” Which is what they did.
Way to lose number four: Just not good enough. Brutal
assessment but that’s what is happening.
Jordy was sensational in the booth; he brings an edge to the
game. I think him and Ronnie would create some magic. Filipe was a
bit too modern Christian bland, if one can make that observation in
this day and age. Jordy Smith the only man standing between Filipe
Toledo and a three-peat? I think, yes. I don’t understand the draw
and seeding system, is there an astro-physicist in the house?
Round of 32 Matchups:
Heat 1: Jordy Smith (ZAF) vs. Soli Bailey (AUS)
Heat 2: Owen Wright (AUS) vs. Joan Duru (FRA)
Heat 3: Gabriel Medina (BRA) vs. Griffin Colapinto (USA)
Heat 4: Ryan Callinan (AUS) vs. Yago Dora (BRA)
Heat 5: Kolohe Andino (USA) vs. Adriano de Souza (BRA)
Heat 6: Jeremy Flores (FRA) vs. Deivid Silva (BRA)
Heat 7: Julian Wilson (AUS) vs. Ezekiel Lau (HAW)
Heat 8: Conner Coffin (USA) vs. Adrian Buchan (AUS)
Heat 9: Filipe Toledo (BRA) vs. Michael February (ZAF)
Heat 10: Michael Rodrigues (BRA) vs. Willian Cardoso (BRA)
Heat 11: Wade Carmichael (AUS) vs. Sebastian Zietz (HAW)
Heat 12: Michel Bourez (FRA) vs. Ricardo Christie (NZL)
Heat 13: Kanoa Igarashi (JPN) vs. Frederico Morais (PRT)
Heat 14: Seth Moniz (HAW) vs. Peterson Crisanto (BRA)
Heat 15: Kelly Slater (USA) vs. Caio Ibelli (BRA)
Heat 16: Italo Ferreira (BRA) vs. Jack Freestone (AUS)
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Cursed: Man pulled off life support after
possibly drowning at Waco, Texas wave tank
The hits just keep coming for the BSR Cable
Park there in Waco, Texas. It was reported
yesterday that a 42-year-old man was pulled from the
wave tank unresponsive on the night of July 4th and taken to a
local hospital. Yesterday he was taken off life support and died.
This is the second fatality associated with the Waco surf facility
in under a year which makes for a rough one.
I am unaware of any other fatalities at any of the other
Wavegardens around the world or at Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch and it
makes a man wonder if there is something in that central Texan
water besides brain eating amoebas? Oh I am not an overly
superstitious man but David Koresh and 79 of his Branch Davidian
followers were burned to death just two miles down the road from
the park.
Do you believe in curses? Ghosts? Etc.?
And do higher odds of dying at a wave tank than dying by shark
in Ballina, Australia give you pause?
Many questions.
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Kenny Igs, from Japan, slaughtered
returning-from-injury world champ Adriano de Souza and punchy
Brazilian Jesse Mendes in the seeding round.
Open thread, Comment live: Day Two, Corona
J-Bay Open!
I’m not exactly sure why my impulses didn’t remind me to
kick open the Comment Live post on yesterday’s opener at
J-Bay? I was watching, though drifted off during the
slower heats into dreams of a better life, perhaps a job as a
character at Disney World.
Chas woke to the midnight push notification from the WSL on his
phone but the journey downstairs and into blackness was
unappealing.
Today we’re back and we got an elimination round featuring Ryan
Callinan, Jack Freestone, Beyrick De Vries, Seth Moniz, Adrian
Buchan, Jorgann Couzinet, Jeremy Flores, Jesse Mendes,
Frederico Morais, Willian Cardoso, Peterson Crisanto and
luckless Jadson Andre who may as well snap open a beer and enjoy
the sun.
Climb inside.
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Opinion: Sal Masekela* is the worst thing
to happen to pro surfing since non-elimination heats!
The J-Bay contest is very rough for every
single professional surf fan outside of South Africa. Oh, the wave
is gorgeous, a dream, perfect, iconic and the culture is
fascinating, interesting, fabulous and the history is unique, long
and important but the time… that damned time… ooooeee!
Very rough.
I somehow imagined that the Corona J-Bay Pro would get underway
before my tired eyes closed in the, admittedly, early evening. I
was wrong. I also somehow imagined that the time would be in
Australia’s wheelhouse and that Derek Rielly would get our patented
“Live Chat” feature up with ease.
I was also wrong.
South Africa exists in a timezone unto itself. Like the store in
O Brother, Where Art Thou? that serves FOP for Men but
can’t get the auto part from anywhere in a reasonable time, South
Africa is a geographical oddity.
Two weeks from anywhere.
And so I didn’t watch the contest, you didn’t watch the contest,
thankfully Longtom did watch the contest (read
here!) but as I went over the replays I experienced a
shocking bummer.
Sal Masekela in the damned booth.
Now, you may like the man’s velvety pipes as he calls the action
but there is a profound and troubling truth about Sal Masekela. A
virus that threatens to infect even Joe Turpel, ’89 World Champ
Martin Potter, Ron “Dog” Blakey and even our happy savior Barton
Lynch.
Sal is surfing’s biggest fan boy.
Biggest by far, and you can’t even imagine how many dinners I’ve
sat across from Sal as he pulled out his phone to show the audience
text messages from Kelly Slater etc., how many times I’ve heard him
derive personal value from his professional surfer “friends” but
the fan boy drive is not his alone.
Surf media, in general, suffers from wanting to be “liked” by
the professionals who dance across the waves. Wanting to be
acknowledged and accepted by the hot, now surfer demanding
attention but this instinct cuts across surf media’s very job.
Shouldn’t we be clinical, analytical, unmoved by personal
preference or desire for hunger for proximity? Shouldn’t we all be
ruthlessly immolating ourselves for the truth and for The
People™?
It’s why Longtom shines. He doesn’t want friends, he wants to do
the best job he possibly can. It’s how any sport’s
writing/commentating works when it actually works. When writers and
vocalists are free and willing to gut golden calves in order to
share what matters.
And certainly what we do is not important. Certainly we operate
in a backwater of a backwater but I think it’s time to demand a
separation of church from state, or rather bro from bro, and bring
some actual, honest critique to the booth.
Gimme Paul Evans.
Gimme Jen See.
Gimme a woman or man that has enough smarts to call it like she
sees it and enough backbone to not shirk from truth.
The action in the water has never been better but, like in O
Brother, Where Art Thou? the allure of popularity and
closeness is pulling us toward the rocks.
