Come and get it boys (and girls)…
Ain’t love a kick in the head.
One minute you’re planning a life in Byron Bay, all dressed in beige and with children called Marlow and Tigress, the next the ol cheating hammer comes down on your heart, splintering it forever.
Ellie-Jean Coffey is twenty-four, a very good surfer, a goofyfooter for those who care about such things, and an Instagram maven with one million followers.
Earlier today, she announced she had just arrived in the singles marketplace.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bzw5a6MA8X5/
I called Ellie-Jean shortly after the post appeared.
Journalism, brothers and sisters.
So, single?
“Yes, I’m single as fuck…so…yeah…he cheated on me so I’m officially single as fuck.”
The facts, as I was told are this: her boyfriend of one-and-a-half years had a bit of a night a couple of weeks ago and hooked up with a gal pal of EJ’s.
It’s the Gold Coast. It’s what you do.
In response, Ellie-Jean has moved to Sydney, to Narrabeen where her grandparents live, for “a fresh start.”
Ms Coffey, who has only been single once before in her life, for three months when she was twenty-one, was told of the event by her sister.
I asked, were you furious?
“Fuming.”
Did you throw things?
“No, just angry and then sad and then strong.”
Are you excited about the voyage that lays ahead?
“Extremely.”
Do you see it as a chance to exercise your adventurous side?
“Absolutely.”
Does being relatively anonymous in the big city give you the opportunity to spread your wings in a way you couldn’t at home?
“One hundred percent.”
How about a swinging throuple? Asking for a pal.
“Like a three-person relationship? Nah, I’m too jealous.”
“Either.”
What sorta person y’want?
“Someone loyal.”
What else you got to say?
“Anyone who has been cheated on, I fucking feel for you.”
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I,m single too?
Floppy pillows..
Did she have plastic surgery? She looks way different than from a few years ago
She’s like an uglier Shapelle Corby.
And she wears fuckin leopard skin print!!
I think she’s using that old-person look app that everyone’s posting now
I enjoyed the bit about living in Byron with my beige dressed children named Marlow and Tigress.
Giver her 8 years, she’ll look haggard.
Fucking murder suicide material.
always blame the egg…
I havn’t caught any j bay. Are the judges paying rail surfing? Bit of value next round if they are?
Sexist and disgusting!
“Asking for a pal” hahaha
A perfect opportunity for her to spread her pink butterfly wings and flutter about the city of Sydney. Sounds like she needs to really let off some steam and forget about her pain.
You guys should interview her again in a week or so and ask her to fill us in on some details of her hedonistic adventures.
I’d love to see her on the CT – any prospects of that happening?
Her sister Holly is better I reckon.
Oh, she is really bound to find true love this time around, the contents and manner of her speech will surely attract the right kind of gentlemen that she seeks
Doesn’t wiggolly have a refuge for busted and broken women like this in his back shed?
i wanna be in on that “Unicorn” relationship, holy smokes, (though the husband can take a vacation for a bit)
Knew a bloke in Sydney (not Derek) who was in one. It broke him.
I “want” so much in this world, only to have my wife stop me…. telling me “only a real douche bag would have …..”
His words were along the lines of; “When it was good, it was great, but when there was some slight, imagined or otherwise, you always had two against one. And when it’s two women against you, there is fucking nowhere to hide…”
I recall watching a video of her sister Holly-Sue years ago, when the girl was young. I thought Holly had world-class potential but she probably got distracted. Do these girls earn any money from their public exposures?
More than what billabong was offering
Surf journalism at its pointed best right there
Its truly the high tide mark of surf journalism.
You fucken creep, Derek. Impressed.
Very horny content.
I was told you can get an STD simply by breathing Gold Coast air?
They may be lost for breath today after the NSW Blues took them down (QLD ) in State of Origin match 3 , taking out the series AGAIN !
Crying Jordi emoji. I’m hurtin here!
Had to use Google Translate to figure out what that means
Sorry G L . We in the Colonies have been forced to learn about the games played by the Masters , NFL , Basketball , Baseball etc and sometimes forget that our little provincial events are not of any importance to those modern day Romans living between San Diego and Sebastian Inlet .
Oh, and go the Black Caps! 🙂
I am definitely for my Antipodean Brothers from across the Tasman Sea !
I was not cheap !
Penicillin be expensive!
The French Republic has a wonderful National Health System ,so much so that even Antibiotics are dispensed free of charge to Citizens and Working Non Citizens , as it was in my case , with the appropriate visas .
☣️
Be careful champ they might mistake you as a Rainbow Warrior ?
Bex, didn’t know you were into Optical or Virus Recordings. Never pegged you for an aficionado of neuro-funk jungle. Impressive.
That would sound unreal with a shit load of chemicals under my belt!
Wear a conny D
For her sake