Let's get ready to rumble!
But what are your true feelings on colonialism? Oh, you can speak freely here. We’re all friends and mostly products of and/or genetic participants in the Great Game. Do you, like Indonesia’s brave Soekarno,”…hate imperialism. I detest colonialism. And I fear the consequences of their last bitter struggle for life.” Or are you more like Thomas Pynchon, believing, “Colonies are the outhouses of the European soul, where a fellow can let his pants down and relax, enjoy the smell of his own shit.”
Well, wherever you land on that spectrum, France’s crown jewel of Tahiti, some 16,000 kilometers away from capital Paris, has emerged as the leading candidate to host the surfing portion of the 2024 Olympic Games
And let us go, quickly, to the French news service for the very latest.
The French Polynesian island of almost 200,000 inhabitants is a full 15,760km (9,755 miles) and a 23-hour flight away from the French capital.
The village of Teahupo’o boasts some of the biggest waves on the surfing map with regular large waves guaranteed in August.
The 48 surfers who make it to the Olympic finals will know the location well due to its place on the Billabong Pro circuit.
The name Teahupo’o translates as “to sever the head” and there have been five surf-related deaths there in the past 20 years.
“If the International Olympic Committee rubber stamp the project Tahiti could be adopted as host location on December 12,” one source told AFP.
Do you think the World Surf League is frustrated that it got called “The Billabong Pro” circuit?
More importantly, is pumping Olympic Teahupoo what it will take to turn the masses on to surfing? The great, yet-to-be-tapped-but-potential fan base stretching from Des Moines to Fresno?
Big, meaty, sever the head, Teahupoo feat. late drops, big wipeouts and a 54-year-old Kelly Slater?
Maybe.
But can the Billabong Pro circuit i.e. World Surf League wait a full 4.5 years for those masses to get turned on? Will co-Waterperson of the Year Dirk Ziff keep kicking our can down the road?
More as the story develops.
Preposterous I say. One trick pony no infrastructure. If it’s on too dangerous for some. Plus the women don’t surf here. Obviously it has to be the Basque coast with dozens of surf venues. I would further venture to say that someone will sever the head of this idea before it even approaches the take off zone.
Open up for representation from all countries, include a foam board division, and let the games begin!
I was in Teahupoo for a fortnight during October & there was talk of this in the village, I wonder though if the IOC will actually approve this as it appears to undermine the whole host nation concept.
They could run in France but the waves are typically dribble at that time of year, so perhaps this is all a bit of deliberate subterfuge from the Kelly Slater Wave Company to sell their “technology” to the Olympic movement, given the whitewater rafting events are run in “synthetic rapids” this might be a more likely scenario than one event being run on the opposite side of the planet.
Go team Germany/Namibia, Portugal/Angola or perhaps Belgian/Congo? Portugal/Mozambique their flag is fuck’n awesome. Anyways Im pretty sure waves and sharks can be found at all of these lovely former colonies. oh wait I got it! Spanish occupied Ventura! like 1750 Ventura not now obliviously
I detest colonialism but Judah (aka “Israel”) is exempt because the Bible say so.
or maybe not if it’s double to triple overhead.
Well this sounds like fantasy
When they’ve got a crapload of contestable waves in France, and the potential for thousands of beach spectators to spend their money on Olympic surfing related items, this seems unlikely…
But it would be an absolute beacon of colonialism. Do you not buy?
“sphere of influence” is making a comeback.
Definitely ultimate colonialism, but seems more to their advantage to keep it all in mainland Frogton
So, say its macking (10ft plus). We could see over 1/2 of the combined men’s and women’s field be unable or unwilling to even catch a wave, much less compete. Even at 6ft there’s gonna be carnage. Doesn’t seem like a great idea unless surfing being seen as a boring joke is the goal.
It’s the Olympics.. you know, the best of the best. If they can’t handle it they shouldn’t be there.
Well said.
Then explain boxing at the Olympics?
Sounds perfect. Isn’t competitive surfing kinda of a boring joke already (especially for any one that doesn’t surf) with its long lulls and boring, inane commentary.
Could say the exact same about any sport.
I used to love going off on longish cycle rides solo, but watching the Tour de France (or similar) would bore me to tears.
Surfing is different in that you can dip into any ride at any point in any competition, and find some reward in viewing that persons’ relative skill/ luck with that unique wave.
well stop sucking then.
exciting prospect. assuming surfing is still considered an olympic sport after its debut next year
The last time France executed a criminal using the guillotine was September 10, 1977. For many of us here, that’s within our lifetime. That means the idea of severed heads as an executing, I mean exciting sport to witness is something many can imagine revisiting, not just visiting for the first time. Time to bust out the rotten cabbage, moldy potatoes, and grimey beets to huck from the channel as we get into the festive mood to celebrate, berate and decapitate. YEEEAAAH!!!!!!
Oh the carnage! Would be good viewing I bet
Imagine the surfer from Israel or Bhutan paddling into 20ft Teahupoo!
That might end up being the most compelling Olympic story of all time
Nothing will ever top Eddie the Eagle.
Eric the Eel also had impact…
Don’t forget Ezekiel the Echinorhinus!
I like the Faster
Higher, Stronger idea but
Do we need Deader?
Imagine the surfer from the colony of Judah called “Israel”; a violent police state I falsely correlate with peaceful Bhutan. My brain is so predictable, Satanic & brainwashed.