Warning: Celebrity surfer Josh Brolin burns “pucker hole” while participating in dangerous new sun tanning trend!

"Increases creativity and creative output..."

And you thought Laird Hamilton’s ice baths were bad. You thought Kelly Slater’s elk antler infusions were odd and also his homemade chia seed puddings. You count yourself a skeptic when it comes to the latest health fads but admit your curiosity was piqued by “perineum sunning.” The ancient art of… well… The ancient art of… hmmm.

I’ll let Metaphysical Meagan explain.

Perineum sunning is an ancient Taoist practice that originated in the Far East. In Taoism, the perenium or Hui Yin is called the “Gate of Life and Death.” This is a gateway where energy enters & exits the body. I first learned about perineum sunning through my studies of Taoism and Tantric practices.
The benefits of perineum sunning include:

•It brings in prana or solar energy from the sun into the organs within the body which strengthens the organs.
•Perineum sunning prevents against the leakage of chi or life force energy from the body. This in turn sustains health & longevity of the physical body.
•Increases creativity and creative output.
•Aids in a healthy libido & balanced sexual energy.
•30 seconds of sunlight on the perineum is equivalent to being in the sun all day with your clothes on.
•It regulates the circadian rhythm and promotes deeper sleep.
•Grounds and connects you to the Earth.
•Increases your personal magnetism and amplifies the auric field.

Sold?

So was celebrity surfer and actor Josh Brolin who, according to Page 6  “gave hot new wellness trend ‘perineum sunning’ a whirl — with disastrous results that left his ‘pucker hole’ sunburned.”

And let’s go straight to Mr. Brolin’s Instagram for the latest:

https://www.instagram.com/p/B5ddxy6ggyW/

Tried this perineum sunning that I’ve been hearing about and my suggestion is DO NOT do it as long as I did. My pucker hole is crazy burned and I was going to spend the day shopping with my family and instead I’m icing and using aloe and burn creams because of the severity of the pain. I don’t know who the fuck thought of this stupid shit but fuck you nonetheless. Seriously. #blackholefriday #blackholesun #severeperineumburns #santamonicafiredepartment #assholecare

Still sold?

Go forth brave adventurer. Fortune favors the bold.

Bonus:

Here we see Josh Brolin saving a VAL from certain death. A kind man undeserving of his current fate.