Feel the outrage.
And apparently there is no depth to which the merciless shark will not stoop, no valley low enough, as it were. No forbidden fruit nor moral baseline.
Bastards.
They are pure bastards all. It makes karmic/theoretical sense for the vicious beats to eat grown men all haggard and likely alcoholic but knocking the cutest seven-year-old ever off his surfboard?
No.
Many steps too far.
And this sort of behavior cannot be excused but before we get completely outraged let’s learn about the harrowing tale of Chandler Moore from the unbiased pages of CNN whose knew slogan demands that we “Go There.”
Chandler Moore, 7, of Orlando, Florida, and his family went to New Smyrna Beach on Saturday for some post-Thanksgiving fun. His dad, Shaun Moore, told CNN it was a “picture perfect” day for surfing.
“It was almost 80 degrees, sunny and the waves were good,” Shaun Moore, 40, said. “The beach was crowded and there were a ton of surfers out.”
The father and son went into the water with their boards. Moore said Chandler has been surfing since he was 4.
They spotted a wave to ride. Moore said he gave Chandler a push on the board. As Chandler stood and steadied himself on the board, he was knocked down by … something.
“I was just surfing and then I saw two fish,” Chandler told CNN. “I thought the thing that hit me was a fish.”
They replayed the footage caught by the GoPro camera attached to Chandler’s surfboard.
“When we looked back I saw it was actually a shark,” Chandler said. “I was like, ‘Oh my gosh.'”
Oh my gosh is right and could not the shark have let young Chandler feel the thrill a bit longer before being such a jerk? Such an incredible, heartless jerk?
What’s next? Sharks smashing four-year-olds’ sandcastles?
Stealing ice-cream from two-year-olds?
Worse?
The outrage.
The pure outrage.
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This is really shocking. How many other parents out there are teaching their groms it’s ok to learn on a mini-mal? Worse, that they should record their 1ft slop straigh-handers with a backward-facing front-mounted gopro. And worse still, to publish that footage all over the interwebs!
I think the shark was actually our ally en route to inserting itself in that dad’s anus in protest, when the kid got in the way.
Could this feasibly be linked to the shark paedophilia ring you uncovered previously?
I think so.
These rock spider sharks are treated horribly in Shark prison.. ie sent to sea world.
Or ….. heavens forbid ! The fish and chip shop …. make mine flake ?
Surely, “Oh My Gosh”
Fails to capture the surprise
Of a shark drop in
Just be happy it wasn’t a thresher that might have opened him up like the side-wall of an Audi Quattro tire….. Or a large Grey bull seal hip checking him into unconsciousness from his position in the shoulder….. Or a giant squid, that would suck too.
I was with him right up to the point where he started on the ‘Baby Shark…’ bit. That’s when I started wishing he copped a little nip.
god damn bull y shark
https://www.floridamuseum.u…
“Get off my wave, kook!”
“vicious beats”?
As in beatniks? And I always thought beatniks were SO mellow (insert Ken Nordine word jazz here).
Homer knew what to do with beatniks!
https://youtu.be/ECZCQAmxU_…
Chas, does your wife know this is what you do all day? And if so, is she ok with it? Asking for a friend.
If I was his sugar mumma I’d be more cut about how he only drinks chick drinks.
Nah, that way they can share the same clothes.