Out of the water for at least a day. Maybe two.
Today is Super Bowl Sunday, in America. Just another Manic Monday in Australia. And though surfers are not typically football fans the two do share one love. One glorious passion.
Guacamole.
The avocado-based delicacy is one of the most common foods at Super Bowl parties where men grow fat and loud, women grow loud and fat and everyone turns into comedians, riffing on the television commercials that are also supposed to be funny.
Well, as you know, I was on a historically unprecedented ironman streak, having surfed six days in a row. It ended today. With Super Bowl Sunday on the horizon I thought, “I bet Big Bear will be empty….”
Southern California’s local ski area is a complete dump but my daughter is a complete ripper and any chance I can get her on any hill I take.
So there we were driving north as the sun peeked over the horizon, illuminating the inland valleys sad and depressing, daughter playing Roblox on her phone, me listening to NPR when a story regarding “Avocado Hand Injury” came on.
Is it your turn to make the guacamole at the Super Bowl party this year?
If so, be careful. You don’t want to join the thousands of people who’ve ended up in an emergency room for avocado-related injuries.
“These injuries are exceedingly common,” says Dr. Matt Aizpuru of the Mayo Clinic.
Aizpuru is the co-author of a 2019 study published in The American Journal of Emergency Medicine that found that as avocado comsumption has gone up in America, so too have avocado-related knife injuries.
He and his colleagues looked at emergency room data and found that between 1998 and 2017 an estimated 50,413 people paid a visit to the emergency room for an avocado-related knife mishap. Aizpuru says that in 1998, there were around 650 such injuries. By 2017, there were nearly 6,000, close to a 10-fold increase.
The most common demographic injured were 23 to 39-year old women, according to the study, and injuries were most common on the left — and likely non-dominant — hands of patients.
“Whew. 23 to 39-year old women…” I thought while turning the volume back down. “…Not us surfers.”
But then my mind flashed to my recently broken ironman streak and I swear over fifty percent of the surfing population these days is 23 – 39-year old women.
Shark attacks may be trending down in the near future, as men vacate the lineup, but will Avocado Hand Injury be trending up?
More as the story develops.
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
Lol “their”
I am kcks and I have lived in kcmo but you are right we are one kcks and kcmo and I don’t care if the president said Missouri or Kansas . This shit is so so pathetic I’m tired of the bullshit that people comment on . I love my Kansas City whether it being Kansas or Missouri and just the fact that the president took the time to congratulate our chiefs is alright in my book. So thank you for setting that straight on our city to those who are smartass idiots
The Kansas City Chiefs play in Missouri. Not in Kansas. Hey, you’re cutting Obama some slack over that “57 states” thing, right after he put down a bottle of Heinz 57 sauce, right? At least it wasn’t the brown mustard or the tan suit this time.
Trump is a loser who doesn’t even know where a team plays, and even sadder, his ‘fact check’ person didn’t know either. Probably because all he can get are yes-men coffee boys that he’s never met, right?
Not a well coded bot. You two are both trump humpers, and your badly coded bot attacked one of your own. LOL. Like sharks at a feeding frenzy! You DO know there’s no nickels for attacking other paid trolls, right?
Politics, Super Bowl, and guacamole freak fingers.
This thread is on point surf journalism.
So you are not refuting he can’t spell? Cause that was all I was pointing out, the election is a seperate topic that I don’t care about.
Up to a point. Mixing up Too vs To and Their vs There is pretty bad though. Calling Bidden low IQ and then misspelling his name, making a spelling error while literally telling your generals to go back to school, misspelling “counsel” as “councel,” including a period where he did it three days in a row….etc etc etc. It looks bad. These are not occasional errors or typos, the man can’t spell. The worst part is that he can’t figure out how to turn on Spell Check. The worst part is that he is too dumb to HIDE the fact that he can’t spell. He literally can’t hide the fact that he can’t spell and he isn’t being asked to spell in public……that’s dumb.
No it doesn’t…just made to look that way when the ‘journalist’ decide to consistently highlight the incidence within one party and not the other.
Luckily they are consistent and as time goes on more people are accepting that it is, not fake news, but skewed news. Narratives are used to spin and manipulate emotions when it should be facts which are used instead.
Wow Beachgrit that was a pile of clickbait.
Who knew?!?!?
More dangerous than AR-15s!! Ban them!
Anybody who cuts themselves (himself? herself? theirself?) slicing an avocado should not be allowed to possess sharp knives.
Background checks might help.
I suspect the injury happens during seed removal.
So thick you’re attacking one of your own paid troll compadre. How pathetic!
The Chiefs are a Missouri team. Not a Kansas team. Make all the lame excuses you want. The “stable genius” is a moron. Obama was exhausted after a nationwide trip campaigning. What was trumps excuse again? If it was so simple, why did he delete the tweet and then send out a new tweet with the correct state?
Somehow I’ve spent 50+ years using avocado’s and a lot of them (They’re grown near me…I can even grow them in my yard!) and never got a nick.
I have however been in the water with a great white one time and at least one tiger shark on another instance. I say at least because I saw one, and the next day the beach was closed as there were three of them swimming just off the beach. My dad says I was on an inflatable raft as a kid and was bumped by a bull shark.
So I’ll stay out of the ocean, and keep cutting up avocado’s, thanks.
“Never get into a battle of wits with someone who is only half armed.
What’d you get tired of being crushed with your donk talking points on you tube vidya’s so you venture away from the Raechal madcow/tinfoil hat crowd U2ooB and go where there’s less “resistance”? Your the type that beyond clueless and beyond trying to correct your “chunk yogurt talking points” for sorros
Sounds like you’re really interested in Rachel. How many photos of her do you have in your “special drawer” that mom isn’t supposed to look in?
You just talked a bunch of shit for a horrible article. Good job!
We’re going to cut the end of it nose like a soft cucumber , it stuck it’s nose in you know where
Assuming you snowboarded with your daughter then I would argue the Ironman streak is not over.
Idiotic clickbait. What avocado is “lurking in the shadows”? I’m making a mental note to never click on a beach grit story again.
Plus your stupid webpage is faulty in IOS. Doesn’t load properly.
Shouldn’t you be off selling spare military parts to the enemy?
Beach Grit is not for everybody.
I don’t know about your avocados but mine are ruthless. Heartless.
If only they were seedless.
Huli Opu’s avocados are smooth and dreamy
You clearly don’t know how close you may have been. The fact you haven’t spotted any avocados lurking menacingly in the shadows speaks volumes of their stealth and murderous intent. You should be thankful for this timely warning