Misadventure: Two Australian surfers hired for “tie man up in his underwear and stroke him with a broom” sexual fantasy break into wrong house!

"Sorry, mate."

It’s a tough life being a surfer what with daylight “earning” hours often spent surfing, chasing surf, thinking about chasing surf or watching World Surf League re-runs. How then can a living be earned?

Night work, of course, and have you ever wrangled a graveyard shift? In college, I used to work the campus security switchboard from 10 pm to 6 am. Later, I valeted cars and though those shifts didn’t run all night they kept the days free.

In Australia, we have just learned of two men, surfers likely seeing as they hail from New South Wales, who made their money as hired guns for various sexual fantasies.

One man hired them, for instance, to break into his house, tie him up with his underwear and stroke him with a broom.

Well, the client moved without notifying the surfers who, in turn, broke into the wrong house and let’s pick the story up from there in the BBC.

When the (new) resident noticed a light on in his kitchen at 06:15, he assumed it was a friend who came by daily to make morning coffee.

When the men called out the name of their client, the resident turned on the light and removed a sleep apnoea mask he was wearing.

It was then that he saw them standing above his bed with the machetes, which they appeared to have brought as props for the role play.

When they realised their error, one of the pair said, “Sorry, mate”, and shook the resident’s hand, according to local reports.

The two men then drove to the correct address, where the client noticed one man had a “great big knife” in his trousers and asked them to leave the weapons in their car.

The client then cooked bacon, eggs and noodles, and a short time later, the police arrived at the property, found the machetes in the car and arrested the hired pair.

A sad ending?

No.

Just yesterday a judge, also likely a surfer, acquitted them men declaring, “They carried the machetes either as a prop or something to use in that fantasy. The fantasy was unscripted and there was discretion as to how it would be carried out.”

A lawyer for the accused added, “It was a commercial agreement to tie up and stroke a semi-naked man in his underpants with a broom. Entry was not with intent to intimidate.”

Wonderful.

And are you thinking about it as a potential side hustle?

Nick Carroll, are you?

What is the going rate?

Much to ponder.