Very scary but potentially heartwarming.
Famous actor Rob Lowe has had an iconic Hollywood film arc. Child star turned heartthrob. Scandal while campaigning for 1988 Democratic presidential candidate Michael Dukakis. Redemption in the form of a lasting marriage. Lawsuits over “malicious lies” spread by nannies. Redemption in the form of Liberace’s plastic surgeon Dr. Startz.
And over the weekend, whilst beating the summer heat in Santa Barbara, he almost witnessed a ten-foot Great White Shark eat a gaggle of children splashing and playing without care. Possibly surfing* too.
Extremely scary and I don’t like to think depressively here, but worst case scenario, the children become eaten and a blockbuster Hollywood film is made about the incident who would play Rob Lowe?
His younger brother Chad Lowe is an obvious choice but maybe too obvious. The Academy Awards loves a surprise choice and I wonder if Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson could pull it off.
No?
Maybe Scott Bakula in a stirring comeback?
Hilary Swank?
Let’s continue thinking outside the box.
I don’t envision the film, currently titled And the Pacific Turned Red, to be a bloody gore-fest but rather a heartwarming romantic comedy where Rob Lowe’s character acts as matchmaker between a single dad whose child was eaten and a single mom whose child was eaten.
Or maybe half of one child is eaten, one half of another child is eaten but doctors are able to save them by sewing them together and then their parents (single dad, single mom) fall in love.
Something like that but let’s workshop it a little more.
No?
*Santa Barbra has no waves.
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This is great. Bringing sharks back to the people,
*Santa Barbara has five As.
Being that you’re from Lemoore I’m very impressed by your use of the word “pinniped”.
Kudos.
When you show up, I’ll show you….
Surf off!
Rock dance at Field of Fake Dreams Peak.
No cords, winner has to agree with losers politics….for awhile!!…..
I can judge!! Ok, just kidding, it never breaks, so its off to the beachies with you both.
He was a very good sport. I began by telling him how much I enjoyed his MNF tenure and how fascinated I was to learn new things while watching brutal men play a game of violent acquisition.
I knew his wife well, but I think he was semi impressed that a surfer would have a take on his performance.
According to stats SD County has the highest shark attack ratio in CA?
A Very Brah-dy Sequel? Does Greg Webber Brah-dy hook up with JJ Florence Henderson?
Because my dear friend Lemoore Goat Rodeo asked…..
10. Cindy Costner’s alimony (castle above the best tube in town)
9. Michael Armand Hammer (pretend surfer who collects cars, stunningly attractive older women and isn’t a douche bag on the charity circuit)
8. Olivia Harrison ( a guest at the Hippy compound, btw)
7. The ghost of John Cleese (no one is mentioned more than a former resident and his penchant for divorce settlements)
6. Kendall Conrad (siren to wealthy women who lunch and handbag accessory savant who may be hotter than Tory Burch and another Hippy compound visitor)
5. Rob and Cheryl Lowe (the rumors about in house staff, defections and lawsuits are true, Hippy knows too much)
4. Lisa Haagamen Hippy client and most notable for three things. Grand daughter of William Randolph Hurst, an immaculate women of pedigree and grace (her home is ridiculous) AND a woman WHO TOOK A GIFT FROM KELLY SLATER AND HUNG IT ON THE FAR BACK WALL OF HER GARAGE!!!!!!!!! Love you Lisa.
3. Portia Do you need her last name because you don’t. Gorg, a sly smile and moves like she has internal skate wheels attached to her feet (gorg feet, BTW! You know what my dad said about women’s feet… he was fucking right about some things it appears )
2. Hideous Ellen Does not like the Hippy chatting up her wife and is not funny, no the most stressed out angry Hollywood Legend in her own mind ( watch Seinfeld show Comedians in Cars drinking Coffee where she is insufferable)
1. Oprah I wanted to dislike her and see behind her curtain. What did I see? Sweet, personable, human and appreciated of Hipp’s work and pays on time, never misses a deadline. Wish I could give you some Chas dirt on her…. ok, one thing, I was the only penis on her property several times I worked there. And the 6’2″ blonde full time dog groomer is cold and dispassionate, could not make her smile. One of the mexican house maids is very attractive, the other three are funny. And Stedman’s bedroom is down the hall, yet Gail’s room has an adjoining door?????
I fucked up… Caroline and Dennis Miller need to be shoe horned in there somewhere. Caroline is a friend of our family and Dennis is a good sport during polite conversation although he never extended an invitation to play with John Mc Enroe and I’m taking that personally. I had an opinion about his radio show that he laughed about and probably stewed over on the drive home.
“Hearst” and “immaculate woman”
Portia De Rossi.
Ellen is 62 and PMC, thats why shes grumpy and she was fine in CICGC. Humble. Hid the keys.
You’re a swimming pool cleaner? That’s how you know all these people?
Rob Lowe is a nice guy.
And he really does surf.
What about C.C?
Every once in a while, mid story, I think, “This is bad enough to be good.” All of your comments proved I was right this time. I haven’t laughed this hard in a while.
hillary swank is an inspired call, but she’s not pretty enough.
also, his first book “stories I only tell my friends” is all time top five poolside reading.
Waves were PUMPING this weekend Jen.
You need to reconsider your choices.
The only monster I see Is Rob’s face. I would rather bump into a great white swimming than that face on the street. Wtf happened to your face Rob???
I would ask for your money back.
You missed an opportunity for a character called John John Florence Henderson.
Great thinking Pie ….. Her 4th son , Tom Brady, could play himself and steal a girlfriend from Jimmy Slade …which forces jimmy to leave the beach and move inland to surf ?
This is the fan fiction we need. Just need to make sure TB doesn’t feel too deflated.
Prince Harry seems an obvious choice. A former soldier who’s championed the cause of wounded vets, many of whom have lost a limb or two, he’s surely caught the acting as well as the surfing bug whilst lazing in Malibu. And there could be an added twist when he realizes the child-eating shark is his uncle.
Hollywood’s eaten
Way more happy children than
The Great White Shark has
Eddie has been red-pilled.
Where I used to come from we got a Shark Park , Shark Island , Sharks Rugby League team and even the second best Boardriders Club at the beach call themselves Sharks , relinquished to second place by ThE LORDS FROM EBC ! … Hell , we even got real sharks , big ones, but not one person thought ,not one , to call the the beach Wheretherearealwayssharkssighted……go figure ?
Don’t panic Dr Jen …. as Steinbeck or Ned Stark said “ The Winter of Our Disco n Tent “ is COMING .
Rob Lowe falls in love with shark while surfing. Dresses shark up as human to protect it from evil shark-hunting fisherman. Hilarity ensues.
Shark played by Rob Schneider. Shark hunter played by Robbie Page.
Former Pipe Master , and Francois Mitterand confidant, Pagey , could kill the Shark with a (ox)bow and arrow while whistling the tune to Farewell Aunty Jack …… the best of Wollongong , the brave .
https://youtu.be/GCZJa8VJa3I
Jim Carrey wants to be involved. He could be a method acting orca trying to broker a deal.
The fucked up thing is he could do it.
He could bring back his Andy Kaufman role from Man on the Moon and wrestle the shark while the audience of shark lovers booed ,screamed and heckled ?
Rob Lowe could play Rob K. Slater, and Rob Schneider would be a good Rob Lowe, with Rob K. Slater as Rob Schneider…
Mick Lowe could play the Whispering Ted Lowe while Rob Lowe could play a Brat Pack of Sharks while wearing clothes from Lowes .Lowe Brow
Set at Lowers.
At Lowe Tide .
Like Michael Jackson ended up looking somewhat like Diana Ross , is an aging Rob Lowe starting to resemble a youngish MP ?
No bro, he’s looking like Bruce Jenner….