Unwanted in many languages.
Yesterday, when it was announced that Bells Beach there in Torquay, Australia had lost its singular claim to fame, hosting the longest running surf contest in the world, many tears flowed from Maurice Cole’s house to Love & Dysfunction pop up bar in Melbourne’s tony St. Kilda.
The new crown, resting jauntily on Virginia Beach’s head, glimmered and gleamed as the East Coast Surfing Championships removed “2nd longest running surf contest in the world” from its website’s masthead and replaced it with USA! USA! USA! along with Covid-adjusted rules including, “Unlike in typical years, no international surfers will take place in competition.”
Many more tears from Australian QS warrior Mitch Crews to Australian QS warrior Jacob Willcox.
And now, the “Island of the Gods” Bali has declared it does not want any Australian surfers or aspiring bikini designer/instagram models with dreams of opening unique concept stores somewhere in Seminyak.
Tears positively gushing from Bondi’s Rosenbaum and Fuller to Perth’s Bell Tower.
Enough tears to entirely flood Australia.
Indonesian officials, who just let locals back in the water in July, declared that due a spike of Covid cases, the entire country, Bali very much included, would be keeping its doors closed to foreigners for the foreseeable future.Bali’s governor adding, “Bali cannot fail because it could adversely impact the image of Indonesia including Bali in the eyes of the world, which could prove counterproductive to the recovery of travel.”
The island makes up one-third of Indonesia’s tourism industry and was expected to lose more that $10b with the existing closure. That number certain to jump with the extension.
But do you feel travel fever yet? The desire to leave on a jet plane with no country willing to accept you?
Should we all crash New Zealand’s Covid-free party?
Should we all launch bikini shops in Christchurch?
Success is but a great idea away.
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Your book arrived yesterday Chas. The texture of the cover took me back 25yrs to reading Goosebumps as an 8yr-old.
Looking forward to reading, best wishes.
Much safer to be a stray dog in Kuta now.
This Russian cunt tried to stab me in a bar in Miami because I stole his credit card. They’re pretty skitzy. Guess who still has the blockhead cunts card but 😀
organise a BG charter flight, Negs can pick everyone up at the airport in his plumbing van and we can do 14 days quarantine in his garage. could probably sell the tv rights to it. a couple of dozen pale skinned, spotty, ginger haired teenage boys masquerading online as grumpy locals locked in with WPS could make for interesting viewing.
I think air travel is over for now. I’m gonna do the Jesse Martin and buy a clapped out yacht and sail the world like a mad man. Hopefully I don’t go full Jesse with all the bandanas and cold sores and lying on his back trying to jizz into his own face. But it could be worse.
You’re an artist mate … every post paints a picture
cum cures cold sores
Was partying in Kuta, my buddy bailed and I was pretty hammered but saw a nice looking girl by herself, I somehow got her out by the pool of the hotel bar, and she was all for it. I made plans to meet her the next day to hang out. Next morning my buddy is heading out to surf and I’m like bragging “nah, I’m waiting for this Aussie chick to call we’re gonna do something”. He chuckled and said “dude, Aussie chicks never call guys”.
He was right.
Eat Pray Fuck Off
Na it’s Eat Fuck Pray the chemist is open
That movie was the worst 2hrs 20min of my life, and I’ve spent days in an ICU
Last trip Frankfurt, Mumbai, Hong Kong, UAE, Dakar, Frankfurt. Every country has a different entry protocol from do as wish to policeman escort to hotel room and then cannot leave. Some require test at entry, some sanitary declaration, some nothing.
Well apart from a whip around the desert in a 4wd and hitting the malls, you’re not missing a lot in the UAE. Kissing camels is over-rated.
45C humidity very high, aircon much appreciated.
I wish Oceanside closed off 10 years ago before Encinitas invaded and turned South “O” into a fucking pussy footers paradise. Mid lengths up and down the line up and jean jackets with a skippers beanie. Fuck. Make Oceanside Oceanslime Again!
!!
It`s not just Oside, you`ve pretty much just described the whole Socal coastline as of now
Oceanside was the last to “go”. Today I declare war on Encinitas for all of North County!
Aux armes, citoyens,
Formez vos bataillons,
Marchons, marchons
Qu’un sang impur
Abreuve nos sillons
Heads up Bicko. We need a translation from someone with culture stat.
To arms, citizens,
Form your battalions,
Let’s march! Let’s march!
Let the impure blood (of Encinitas)
Water our furrows!
Beautiful.
La Marseillaise quite fierce.
So that’s why I am a Brisbane Lions fan…
Hah this not well known fact in France, I fear we must now declare war on Australia on grounds of cultural appropriation. Also after research Australians seem confused about football as incorrect shape ball, using hands and no riot pre and post match.
Vive La France! Mort aux lions!
Lucky for us. Cultural appropriation is almost a national sport.
Regards our sport. Think of it as all the players having the power of goal keepers, and they can move everywhere on the field instead of having to stay in their boxes. Very small scale riots. In fact the largest scale violence I have ever seen at any sporting spectacle in Australia was at the Youth World Cup soccer. About 300 people going nuts on each other. Didn’t make the tv news though. Have seen a few blues though. Mostly crying over spilt beer.
I think I can translate that.
I actually check out Aussie style football on YT, look pretty entertaining game, never had seen previous. Good effort rewriting lyrics for Lions but French version more fierce.
Best football riots in Italy I think, fans wear helmets, throw fireworks etc. Is quite a spectacle!
Encinitas, and Chris Cote in particular, suck.
Covid is literally the best thing that could have happened to Bali/the world. I share a high 5 from Dresden with those who are there right now, lucky cunts! Thank Jesus.
you must be a gov`t employee
It was just so nice to go on a surf trip recently without the usual entitled, frowny face, traveling surfers showing up. The water and air, cleaner than ever.
and where would this mystical land be?
Occy is now standing a little taller in the Yeppoon barrel.
He allegedly always remains perfectly erect in the shower and allegedly adheres to the usage of soap on a rope rather than the ropeless variants more commonly available.
I think a clothing line featuring bell bottoms paired with stretched out v neck t-shirts is the next big idea.
Hezbollah Dresses the next big thing.
Hezbollah dresses, so hot they’ll make a martyr’s fertilizer explode.
My brother brought me home two fantastic Hezbollah t shirts from his trip through the region. I wore one literally to death and have never been able to replace it, and wifey claimed the smaller one
They were seriously great tees, just had to be sure not to wear them in the wrong spot
Where was the wrong spot?
Well, not about to walk down Glenayr to get a bottle of milk from the shops in it
Fuk those Shia scumbags.
Get a sunni dress,!!
Noosa is full of Victorians wearing their boutique sun dresses. They should be locked up, (at home).
I’d wear a dress if I could without homophobic backlash
I think it’s a more natural garment for all humans.
Get yourself a Samoan “lava lava”..
The Scots were ahead of their time.
How the fuck they get up there and additionally stay????
Migrated when the lockdown was announced. You can come in if you quarantine for two weeks with clear tests. My wife heard a group talking about driving 19 hours straight to get here.
jeans and leather shoes on the beach. Timeless.