Nothing a little surf wax and electrical tape won't fix.
Nothing a little surf wax and electrical tape won't fix.

“Rambo of the Sea” Carolina surfer gets attacked by shark, punches beast in nose, packs bite wound with surf wax and paddles back out for more!

I’m not letting this rain on my parade!

But who is your favorite movie tough guy of all-time? Arnie Schwarzenegger as The Terminator? What about The Rock’s Luke Hobbs? Kirk Douglas’s Spartacus? Sly Stallone’s Rocky? Cobra? Hawk? Spartan?

I had always been a Mel Gibson as Marty Riggs man. The way he constantly dislocates his shoulder then slams it back it with a wink and grimace inspires, though, as someone who has constantly dislocated and always put it back himself, the slam is not recommended.

And had because my new favorite tough guy has emerged but let us travel to the Carolinas to meet the “Rambo of the Sea” Erik “Marty” Martynuik.

Marty was surfing, just a few days ago, off Emerald Isle there on the Tarheel State’s easternmost point with Eugene Kloepell. It was a beautiful day and the sun began to slide down the sky when… and here I will let Marty and Eugene tell the story themselves.

Marty: I look over, and I see a dorsal fin! I said oh man, that things coming right towards me. It was like the movie Jaws, you know when it cruises and is gliding through the water?

Eugene: There was something behind him, chasing him. I caught a wave and said ‘I’m out of here!’ That ain’t no blue fish, and I kept on paddling for all I was worth!

Marty: It goes down, and at that time I start looking around and then BOOM! It just nailed my board at the bottom! Next thing you know, I felt a stinging feeling. I gave him a good shot right to the nose and automatically he let go. That’s how I think I saved myself. Packed my knee with some surf wax and electrical tape and took my other back up board out. I’m having lower back surgery in 5 days I’m not letting this rain on my parade!

And there we have it.

“Marty” Martynuik.

Our new Vin Diesel.


Dane Reynolds writes, makes film tribute to older brother Brek, dead at 40: “Police visits, jail time, drugs, rehab, lost jobs, borrowing money, a baby at 18… he had a wild entry into adulthood and I was constantly worried about him”

"Life is fragile."

Earlier this year, Ventura’s Danny Reynolds, who is thirty-five, returned to the blog, vlog, whatever it is game, with Chapter 11 TV, a reboot of Marine Layer Productions, which was shuttered two years ago. 

“There’s no real concept or criteria for Chapter 11 TV, Surfing means different things to different people, I’m just trying to convey our version of it,” wrote Dane.

It’s been a slow burn, although each episode is good enough to satisfy the criteria for even the most full-blooded surfer.

Today’s episode, number five, is a sad detour into Reynolds’ life and the death of a wayward older brother earlier this year. 

Dane writes,

I was sitting in this exact spot a few months ago on a Tuesday around noon when my mom called. I screened it cause the kids were being noisy and I’d call her back later. My mom had decided she wanted to live on a boat and was in the process of buying one. We had been talking a lot because I have friends that are knowledgeable about boats who were consulting her. She calls again. And again. I figure it’s a pocket dial at this point. Screened again. Then a text from my dad – ‘call me as soon as you can’ I get a sinking feeling in my stomach.

I call my mom, she’s sobbing.. “Brek died.”

I spent a large portion of my life worrying about this moment and had only recently let my guard down.

He was reckless boisterous and wild and I was reserved and shy. I idolized him and his friends growing up skateboarding around Bakersfield and building bike jumps in the empty lots. I liked to pretend I could hang but what they were doing scared me. Smoking weed and tagging, going to parties… getting in fights.

In most ways my brother and I were polar opposite. He was reckless boisterous and wild and I was reserved and shy. I idolized him and his friends growing up skateboarding around Bakersfield and building bike jumps in the empty lots. I liked to pretend I could hang but what they were doing scared me. Smoking weed and tagging, going to parties… getting in fights. The roof over our garage led right up to his bedroom window and he’d sneak out at night and the next day tell me about all the crazy shit he got up to. I never knew what was real and what was embellished but when he came home at 3am in the back of a cop car after vandalizing some old man’s home that was verification that he was up to no good.

When my dad got a job transfer and we planned to move to Ventura he came in my room one night and told me he was running away and I’d never see him again but he’d be fine and he loved me. He didn’t want to leave his friends. I was 10 he was 15.

That didn’t last, but it might have been a key moment where my worry for him started to develop.

Once we moved he found a new crew to cause chaos with and I found a group of friends that were into surfing and doing contests and filming each other and I became hyper focused on surfing.

Brek and his friends surfed too but in a different way, the high school feuds and territorialism extended into the surf and for him it was mostly just something you do. For me it was everything.

Police visits, jail time, drugs, rehab, lost jobs, borrowing money, a baby at 18… he had a wild entry into adulthood and I was constantly worried about him.

Still, surfing brought us together. When he was doing good, you’d see him at the beach every day. He started caring a lot about his surfing and improving so we had that as common ground. Then he’d slip up or get in trouble and not surf for awhile.

Brek was a brilliant storyteller. Whether it was a story about a ghost fuckin with him at the house where he was working or how he chased some fisherman around Hueneme pier with a sledgehammer after they were casting at him – ‘I wasn’t gonna kill em I just wanted to get em in the leg’ only to return to his van with a parking ticket, the van parked with perfect vantage point of where he was chasing the fisherman, I still never knew what was real and what was embellished.

My guess is it was mostly real and he was able to focus on the comical aspect and maybe stretch it a bit for maximum impact.

We had a falling out a few years ago. He was obviously doing drugs but hiding it as well as he could and Eithan’s parents were nice enough to give him a spot to stay. I saw him out surfing and he asked if he could move in with me for a bit. My wife was 8 months pregnant with our twins and it was ultimately a ‘hell no’

We had a falling out a few years ago. He was obviously doing drugs but hiding it as well as he could and Eithan’s parents were nice enough to give him a spot to stay. I saw him out surfing and he asked if he could move in with me for a bit. My wife was 8 months pregnant with our twins and it was ultimately a ‘hell no’ which was tough but that’s what it was and we didn’t talk again until last summer.

I was at the print shop making Former shirts with our mutual friend Jenkins (@thumpdrums) when my brother called. Jenkins told him I was there and he said he wanted to talk to me. He told me he was doing good and wanted to meet the twins.

I started seeing him surfing a bit but I was reluctant to let my guard down.

Then in November our Grandpa passed away and at the service my brother delivered a beautiful and eloquent eulogy. He was bright, clear, level headed and well spoken. I talked to him and he said he was a year and a half sober.

We started talking on the phone and sharing surf reports and meeting up to surf even though surfing with him was a huge commitment cause he’d take every goddamn wave.

He had a big bellowing laugh and was wickedly clever and had a brutal sense of humor. I started enjoying surfing with him just to spend the time together even though my wave count would get chopped in half when he paddled out. And that’s no exaggeration. He was the greediest surfer I’ve ever surfed with. He’d snake you then heckle you on the way back out. Over and over. But somehow there was love in the way it was delivered and you couldn’t be mad about it.

I loved queuing him up on conspiracy shit. He’d post screenshots of memes that would say LGBTQP with a bunch of people holding hands and a little kid off the end that said ‘pedophilia is ok if the child enjoys it’ and the comment was something about sick democrats and I’d text him instantly. ‘Dude you’re getting trolled there’s no way anyones promoting pedophilia.’ And he’d respond ‘The dems are trying to normalize it before their indictment.’

I told him about Chapter11.tv and he was pumped on the idea. As I worked on the first few videos we surfed together a ton. I’m guessing a portion of that was motivated by getting into a video. After a session he’d check in to see if Mini got any of his waves. I finally sent him all his clips and he said ‘aww alright, I need to bend my knees more.’

I planned on getting him in a video but never thought it would be under these circumstances.

I’m forever grateful for the time I got to spend with him this spring surfing every day, we were able to reconnect and talk about growing up and life and I got so many good stories about his wilder years. We planned on having him come meet the twins. I didn’t feel like there was any urgency. For once he seemed content and grounded and I felt like we had a lifetime in front of us to reconnect.

I remember a dude on a 7 foot egg shape telling him ‘excuse me… I don’t want to cause any problems but you snaked me on my last wave’ Brek belted out a huge ‘HA!’ instantly burning another dude and the egg shape guy consoled the new victim ‘I tried to tell him that’s not cool but he just laughed.’

I clearly remember him making fun of Mini for trying to film in fog so thick you could barely see the waves. Some of those waves made this video. I remember him snapping on kids for getting in the way, taking all the best sets, telling me about how he almost made his best turn of the season. He’d usually send me a sequence of it later that night. He’d befriended local photographers and loved showing everyone his latest spoils.

I remember a dude on a 7 foot egg shape telling him ‘excuse me… I don’t want to cause any problems but you snaked me on my last wave’ Brek belted out a huge ‘HA!’ instantly burning another dude and the egg shape guy consoled the new victim ‘I tried to tell him that’s not cool but he just laughed.’

Brek was flawed, as all humans are.

Life is fragile.

He was like a brother for a lot of friends. Hopefully this was a nice way to commemorate him. I am very thankful for my friends who’ve been supportive these past months it makes me realize what friends are for. My heart breaks for his daughters Paisley and Kolby and wife Alex and my Mom and Dad and all his close friends.

Special thanks to Jenkins, Alex, Jordan, Tyler and Natalie for contributing photos and voicemails.

We miss you Brek.

Dane

(Donate to Reynolds Family Future Fund here.)


Greatest of All-Time: Princess Ingrid Alexandra of Norway, second in line for the throne, wins country’s National Junior Championship in surfing!

Your new favorite professional surfer.

Kelly Slater who? On Saturday, Princess Ingrid Alexandra of Norway scored a heat total of 12.83 in grey 1 ft surf to win her country’s National Junior Championship in surfing on Borestranden Beach in Jæren. Her father, Crown Prince Haakon and mother, Crown Princess Mette-Marit and Prince Sverre Magnus, were there, on the rocky shore, to watch.

The princess, it is said, has always been fascinated with our surfing life and, when confirmed in 2019, was given a gift certificate for a surfing course where it is assumed she had very much fun.

She is the eldest child in her family and expected to succeed her grandfather King Harald V and become the country’s second female monarch.

Princess Ingrid is now, by far and away, my favorite professional surfer and I would like, very much, for her to appoint BeachGrit as the Royal Anti-Depressive Surf Website of the Norwegian Crown. We will have Karl Ove Knausgård come and write for us and show that hack William Finnegan how memoir is really done.

We will also take over the World Surf League, by royal decree, and make it a proper show with winners getting chaired up the beach in thrones and losers being locked in the dungeon plus all the other stuff we used to talk about like cutting the field in half, running events in one swell window, etc.

Very exciting times ahead.

Long live the princess.


Sam Hall, on a happy vacay in Nicaragua, left, and molested surfboard, right.

Breaking: Sydney surfer fights off shark at Manly Beach, “The mouth came up at me…I threw the board at it!”

"My hands were on the tail of the board and I didn't have a leggie on so then I threw the board at it and then squirmed my way in as fast as I could."

Sydney surfer Sam Hall has described a pretty wild hit by a suspected Bronze Whaler shark last Wednesday at Manly on Sydney’s northside.

Sam, a twenty-nine-year-old who works in energy renewables and is pals with shredder/artist Billy Bain, was surfing a hundred or so yards offshore at a bank between Queenscliff and North Steyne.

Sunset.

Murky water.

Had the bank to himself; another two surfers batted away a little further north.

“Then it just emerged in front of me, one metre away. I didn’t even see a fin,” he says. “The mouth came up at me and I was lying on the board so I was able to push the nose of my board in front of me. It took a bite off the side. My hands were on the tail of the board and I didn’t have a leggie on so then I threw the board at it and then squirmed my way in as fast as I could. The tide was slow so I was trying to find where the sandbank was and stand up. Not knowing at the time if it might come back. It was a frantic moment.”

On the beach, another surfer said he saw the shark circling Sam.

“I was lucky that I was facing it,” says Sam. “It would’ve taken a good chunk out of me based on the depth of the teeth in my board. They’re not thick but they’re fucking sharp.”

Standing on the beach, shaken and very stirred, Sam describes the moment as “surreal… coming to the beach and trying to explain it and not having the validation from other people.”

Later, Sam called the government’s Fisheries department and spoke to a senior biologist who surmised that it was probably a Whaler shark and that it was a hit out of aggression not hunger.

How rattled was he?

Sam says he’s still processing the event, he got on the booze a couple of days later so “everything’s put on hold”, but says he was “frazzled” and that he’s having night thoughts of the “different scenarios of what could’ve gone down.”

Still, could’ve been worse.

“There’s been a big White cruising around (Fairy) Bower and Deadies (Deadman’s), heaps of activity in the water.”

Sam laughs.

“It’s all happening.”

(Check out this White at Manly, from last week.)

 


Loyson, pictured, on the last wave he will ever catch.
Loyson, pictured, on the last wave he will ever catch.

Belgian pervert arrested in Australia funding lavish surf vacation by selling child pornography: “A vile and disgusting crime perpetrated by the very worst sort of human being.”

A truly bad man.

Dante Alighieri, the 13th century Italian poet, is best known to us moderns for his sweeping Divine Comedy. Penned over a twelve-year span and finished a year before his death, the masterwork imagines the afterlife and includes stops in hell, purgatory and heaven.

Hell, or inferno, has nine circles with limbo being the most chill, lusty men and women getting blown by an unpleasant wind, gluttons getting rotted away by an icy wind, the greedy having to perpetually carry heavy weights and so on and so forth until we arrive at the ninth circle where those who have treacherously betrayed others are stuck in a frozen lake of ice near Satan.

It can be certain, when he dies, the Belgian pervert Bryan Loyson, 26, will end in the ninth but until then he will be forced to endure Australian prison for a too-short portion of his wretched life.

Loyson had traveled to the Lucky Country to surf, skydive and sit in claw foot bathtubs while drinking red wine in luxury hotels. He paid for his lifestyle by selling child pornography online.

The Australian Federal Police was tipped off by the United States Center for Missing and Exploited Children that a man in Australia was using the social media platform Snapchat to advertise his ugly wares and, after a three-month investigation, Loyson was arrested in Sydney.

Police officers confiscated everything he had and had him dead to rights.

AFP Assistant Commissioner Justine Gough said. “Every image being shared and bought on this website was of a child being abused. Bringing these offenders from online anonymity to jail is what drives the AFP to keep children safe.”

Early last week, Loyson pleaded guilty to supplying child pornography through a carriage service, using a carriage service to access, transmit, make available, publish, distribute, advertising or promote child abuse material and received a four-year prison sentence with possibility of parole after two-and-a-half years.

Much too short a portion of his wretched life but, as surfers, we can see to it that he never catches another wave. If you see this face bobbing in your lineup drop in, punch out his fins then punch out whichever teeth he has remaining in his head.