I’m not letting this rain on my parade!
But who is your favorite movie tough guy of all-time? Arnie Schwarzenegger as The Terminator? What about The Rock’s Luke Hobbs? Kirk Douglas’s Spartacus? Sly Stallone’s Rocky? Cobra? Hawk? Spartan?
I had always been a Mel Gibson as Marty Riggs man. The way he constantly dislocates his shoulder then slams it back it with a wink and grimace inspires, though, as someone who has constantly dislocated and always put it back himself, the slam is not recommended.
And had because my new favorite tough guy has emerged but let us travel to the Carolinas to meet the “Rambo of the Sea” Erik “Marty” Martynuik.
Marty was surfing, just a few days ago, off Emerald Isle there on the Tarheel State’s easternmost point with Eugene Kloepell. It was a beautiful day and the sun began to slide down the sky when… and here I will let Marty and Eugene tell the story themselves.
Marty: I look over, and I see a dorsal fin! I said oh man, that things coming right towards me. It was like the movie Jaws, you know when it cruises and is gliding through the water?
Eugene: There was something behind him, chasing him. I caught a wave and said ‘I’m out of here!’ That ain’t no blue fish, and I kept on paddling for all I was worth!
Marty: It goes down, and at that time I start looking around and then BOOM! It just nailed my board at the bottom! Next thing you know, I felt a stinging feeling. I gave him a good shot right to the nose and automatically he let go. That’s how I think I saved myself. Packed my knee with some surf wax and electrical tape and took my other back up board out. I’m having lower back surgery in 5 days I’m not letting this rain on my parade!
And there we have it.
“Marty” Martynuik.
Our new Vin Diesel.
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I know that dude in the photo from Jaws. Teddy Grossman. Met him on the beach at Waikiki. He used to date Ava Gardner.
What about Tom cruise who stands at 5’5 playing Jake reacher who is 6’8 fucking funny!!!
Joe hallenbeck, the last boyscout…surely deserves an honourable mention…
“Why did Milo cross the road”
” his dick was stuck in the chicken”
“She was so fat, I had to roll her in flour to find her wet spot”
“Last night I fucked your wife”
(Bad guy) yeah well you gotta take a bullet
“After fucking your wife…I’ll take two”
And
“Just once, I would like to hear you scream in pain”
“Play some rap music”
Hans Grüber all time tough guy
I was waiting in Auckland customs and a guy asked me a question about the customs form.
Turned to look, but he was very short, so I looked down and he asked about a line item.
Oversized baggage was delayed and there he was again. I asked if he completed the form, we would go through customs the next step when I realized it was Vin. His crew were waiting for their camera gear.
A camera guy saw my coffin and wanted to know who fabric could protect my board. They couldn’t believe I had 4 with me and how much did I pay for baggage? All their equipment was in sweet, rolling full on cargo boxes and Air NZ charged them a fortune. I want one of those cargo boxes. So Bad Ass.
Even United couldn’t fuck up your boards in that box.
I assume board bag companies are doing it tough at the moment.
I use to hang duct work. Fittings can come in 1′,2′,8′ whatever.
Had the idea years ago that if you were into plastics a person could mould sections that link together so a person could make their length at least, according to the size he wants. Well protected in the moulded plastic.
Intriguing. I was on a boat trip in indo year before last…. wait, 2018 and this guy, a carpenter, lined his entire coffin with 1/4″ insulation foam board…. semi rigid pieces glued together and they formed an inner coffin. It took up some room, but he brought 2 boards that easily fit inside with most of his gear. Moulded plastic insert would be the same and possibly thinner/lighter as most airlines weigh the bags so under 50Kg is preferred.
Gotta think about that Robert…. great idea.
That said, I take about 5 trips a year and haven’t had my boards fucked since United in the 90’s. I also loved a story about a girl who traveled with her board with no bag whatsoever and I think she claimed that it all went well…. who knows, maybe the handlers took more care with her board?
Duct work has a connection system called TDF that nut and bolst together. A person can easily add of subtract according to what boards you are taking from the mal to the short board.Need to find something light. Let me ask you this…when you got to indo, was it a bit anxious when you opened the bag to check at the airport? Always is. Need to find a material where you are 100% sure so you can relax.
Oh they could, I am sure they could. Just the mention of United and board damage brought back horrible memories of a trip to Nica starting out poorly.
Legend!
Wow..this video has a cringe factor of 11.
From studio guy, to nasal girl, and ends with Marty himself.
Sounds like this shark is similar to Jason Statham in size and scariness.
Perhaps it was a bass, or a salmon that got lost on it’s way home…
P.S.
(the photo looks like he slipped over in the carpark and grazed his knee)
P.P.S.
(it’s not April 1st already is it ? Seems to be, going by the video)
P.P.P.S.
(a guy with a lightning bolt fish is hard to take seriously…)
Amazing that this was news.
Looks like he banged his knee and foot on the rocks.
Crisis situation. Guy stubs toe, BG is on it!
https://www.youtube.com/wat…