En garde.
In yet another sign that we are living in a surf dystopia, scientists have become alarmed, recently, with the “increasingly aggressive” behavior of swordfish. And you, of course, are well versed with swordfish likely from your youth, as its name is evocative, and its depiction in the whimsical Fish card game was very fun.
It may have even been your favorite animal at some point but, alas, the fastest creature on earth may very well be out to lop your head from your shoulders.
And let us travel to Libya, where a thresher shark recently washed up on shore, dead, with a broken swordfish sword lodged in its body, nudging its heart.
Researchers determined the attacking fish was 10-feet long.
The trouble, now, is that thresher sharks don’t prey on swordfish meaning the swordfish went out of its way to plunge its blade deep. Mr. Jambura, a PhD student, said it was “an alarming signal.”
Alarming because do you imagine that swordfish will stop with sharks?
Of course not and of course surfers, heads and shoulders bobbing above the water, would be next.
Such easy marks.
Such deserving marks.
Dystopia.
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You wait until Orca feel they’re missing out on some publicity!
I cut the swordfish filets about a half inch thick, I prefer the eveness of the grilling on the thinner steaks which also provides more bark.
Arrange the mesquite on one side of the grill and light.
Gently rub EVOO, Tuscan Sea Salt, Greek Oregano and a generous application of tripeppercorn grind… pat in and remain marinated until room temperature.
Score the filets over the mesquite turning 90 degrees after 2:00 minutes, then flip at four.
Test the filet by pushing down on the meat which should be near firm and separating at the muscle layers. A gratuitous taste off the finger reveals the magic, but remain patient.
Baste generously and remove the fish to the “cold” side of the grill and allow to soak in the magic.
Flip as soon as the baste carmelizes and baste again. Do not allow the flames to flare up that side of the grill and wait until you see the fish separate again.
Pull the filet, rap in tin foil and let rest while you throw on the corn, also covered in EVOO over the fire. Add the Broccolini as soon as half the side of corn is charred.
Remove from the grill and plate the fish over the broccolini.
Pair the exquisite meal with an ice cold Miller Lite.
This has been your cooking tips by Hippy, now back to regular programming.
I’m salivating over here! Hippz, you sound like you have skillz.
Once upon a time in a quaint village in Waikato, I surfed the beach break in very fun conditions. Not enough to get the bar working properly, but wedges that bent together into hit sections. I love that shit.
A famous shaper was watching and asked to see the board. He was invited over to the house for the bar b que that night, Hippy at the grill.
Mixed meats if I remember correctly. All the herbs poached from the old woman’s garden next door. Simple EVOO rub, no salt, just basil, oregano and thyme…. little pepper. Mostly lamb t bone chops, did some fish for the woman of the house. Trevally, I believe.
Shaper looked over the board the entire time I cooked. Vintage Al Merrick hand shaped pintail, 6’6, perfect rocker. I’ve carried that board all over the world, but only break it out when needed.
He wanted to throw it onto the computer in town, only such one on the north island at the time I was told. I agreed.
Dinner was served, Immaculate presentation. The boys were frothing and I really enjoy the process. Penny was glowing, her impromptu dinner party appeared to be a big success.
We sat down and as the boys mowed into the feed, the shaper sat down next to me and began asking me questions about the board and Al. I don’t know Al personally and I was busy eating so the shaper asked Penny for some Tomato sauce…. though I couldn’t hear him exactly.
The gracious host returned with the bottle of Vinegar Tomato sauce and Paul Shanks proceeded to pour ketchup all over the lamb chops, virtually covering them. ??!!!!!!!!
I gripped my razor sharp knife instinctively. A buddy to my right grabbed my wrist to stop the impending murder. He removed the knife from my shaking hand. I probably owe him from what would have been a lengthy prison sentence. Thanks John.
Paul looked up unaware, ketchup dripping off the bite of once succulent lamb on his fork and asked innocently, “something wrong mate?”.
Later that year, Penny flew over to help me with a commercial project for a national magazine. We had lunch and as she reached for the ketchup, she stopped and looked.at me for permission… “is this ok?”
“Enjoy Penny, you can’t fuck up Mc Donald’s more than they have”.
this should be a regular feature on BG, not that us nihilists even care.
They’re really very friendly creatures but some of them simply forget they’ve got a sword attached to their nose. I’d imagine the swordfish involved in this incident feels absolutely terrible about what happened, and is probably now swishing ruefully, alone in the dark depths, possibly wishing they could turn that damn sword on theirself.
I recall about 15 yrs ago a guy bleeding to death in his dinghy after getting stabbed in the jugular by a 10 inch piper/garfish (they look like a mini swordfish) that had leaped out of the water to escape a bigger fish…
There was a similar one in Indo last year. I think the guy – a teenager – survived, but the whole return trip on the little fishing boat he had the fish wedged in his neck and poking right out the other side.
Now this is what we call diversification. Not enough shark stories to be had, lets move to adding in Sword Fish, next up Barracudas.
Start Here: https://www.youtube.com/wat…
And Here: https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Sawfish: “hold my beer” https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
My grandparents had one of those saws on their wall. God knows how they obtained it but it was some piece of kit.
Barracuda ooooo
probably quicker and better death than being eaten.
I don’t think you’ve fully grasped the implications of the article. The Swordfish was not killing for food, or for self defence.
It did it for fun (“for the lols”, as the kids say these days). So there’s every possibility that he might decide a slow and painful death is more fun. He might decide to chop off little bits at a time, maybe even force you to watch as he feeds digits to his pet rottweiler. Maybe he’ll take you on a tour of his pig farm while explaining how well a starving pig will destroy any evidence of a body. Perhaps he’ll sever a horses head and leave it in your bed.
If they decide to come after us, we’re fucked.
Gnarly…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c… *
*evidence of my rapidly declining mental capacities.
What’s more alarming is that Great Whites are now using swordfish bills as a prison shank. And even more alarming than that is that if Great White sharks feel like they’re in prison in the ocean, then it’s only a matter of time before they evolve their attack techniques to be land-based. Most troubling indeed.
Almost sounds like organised crime on their part. Perhaps led by some form of carcharaDON
Now that’s funny
Move over Mouseketeers ….
Here come Sharketeers do do do do do do d do ..