Breaking: Light-skinned male of medium build breaks into surf shop, steals three boards then leads cops on wild chase smashing two of their cars in the process!

Love is love.

How much do you love this surf life? Enough to paddle out on less than appealing days just to feel? Enough to break up with your guy or gal because they just don’t understand you paddling out on less than appealing days instead of snuggling up and watching Titanic? Enough to steal a car, break into a surf shop, steal three surfboards, two leashes then leading the police on a wild chase before fleeing your vehicle though getting caught eventually?

I didn’t think so.

And so let us meet our new icon Nathaniel K. Jacques of Massachusetts who was arrested by Salem police after a wild chase during which he allegedly nearly struck an officer and crashed into two cars after running over a spike strip.

The police found three surfboards in his car that matched ones stolen from Cinnamon Rainbows Surf Shop.

According to court documents, the surf shop on Ocean Boulevard was broken into at 1:53 a.m. Surveillance footage showed a light-skinned male of medium build breach the rear door with a pry bar. Footage showed the man dressed in a long-sleeve hooded sweater, baseball cap with a surgical dust mask on, remove two surf leashes from behind the front counter. Another camera showed him leaving the store with three surfboards.

It must be assumed that one of the boards was a retro fish and would have looked/been silly with a leash.

But wow.

We don’t love this surf life so much, at the end of the day.

Wanna plan a heist?

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Dennis Commentary
Dennis Commentary
5 years ago

Light skin males on the loose

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago

Goldarnit. I’ve only got 2 out of the 3 key attributes of a core surfer.

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
5 years ago

judging by the picture, wilko has fallen on hard times

braziliangayjesus
braziliangayjesus
5 years ago

Me holyself bless thou! xoxo S2

Lisa Lofquist
Lisa Lofquist
5 years ago

Why are you calling him “light skinned”? Dude is WHITE. Light skinned is how we describe a black person’s skin tone. You are either unwittingly or on purpose trying to suggest that he’s a black man. Please change this. Btw, I’m a hapa woman with a “light skinned” son.

Follow the Sun 🌞
Follow the Sun 🌞
5 years ago
Reply to  Lisa Lofquist

In the article, the section to which you’re grief stems states this at the beginning: “According to court documents…” Your grief is not with Chas.. it’s with the court documents of which he’s citing. I’ve never seen Chas write with any racial bias, whatsoever. I think everyone who read this article and saw the picture can surmise that he is, in fact, a white dude, REGARDLESS of what the court documents mentioned.

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
5 years ago
Reply to  Lisa Lofquist

Did you ever consider that ‘we’ is not the entire human race and maybe not everyone has your hangups?

Follow the Sun 🌞
Follow the Sun 🌞
5 years ago

Very good point.

East of the 5
East of the 5
5 years ago

Honest mistake, he thought he was robbing a Dunkin Donuts. Kids, stay off the Oxi’s.

Follow the Sun 🌞
Follow the Sun 🌞
5 years ago
Reply to  East of the 5

The kids may have had the wrong mixture at the “skittles parties”

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
5 years ago

Could you imagine committing a heist with Chas? He would definitely be heavily focused on his fashion.

Lucky Al
Lucky Al
5 years ago

my half-sister’s father sometimes tells a story about robbing a bank in a small town in western el salvador where his role was to take a position on the sidewalk and guard the entrance with his rpk and he went and knelt in a fresh smelly dog shit and his kerchief kept slipping off his face. i can totally imagine chas in that situation.

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
5 years ago
Reply to  Lucky Al

Haaa!

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago

On the other hand, it runs in the family and he might have some insider knowledge.

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
5 years ago

A mate of mine told me he was going to start robbing banks etc if he wasn’t a millionaire by the time he was 30. Exciting! He died when he was 19 which was disappointing.

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago

This guy needs to watch out. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

astro
astro
5 years ago

Bakatcha LGR !

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago

How do the Aussies here feel about surfing in the rain?

Is it my spooky imagination or does it really make it make the Noahs more active?

Either way, I just can’t bring myself to go out.

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
5 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

It’s pretty shit today anyway man.. but I find it great in the rain when there’s no wind. *edit, after rain I think the toothy fuckers hang out more than normal.

channelbottom
channelbottom
5 years ago

Yeah I know it’s heavily onshore and garbage. It’s more a theoretical question.

I’ve had some really fun sessions in the rain in Hawaii, but here… mmm not so sure ‘bout the wisdom.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
5 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Don’t mind the rain too much. Sometimes makes the walk around to the points at Noosa less crowded, so there’s that. It’s more about the murky water that squeams my guts.

Gino
Gino
5 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

One thing for sure surfing in the rain in Manly….you will be on the toilet for a few days.

OffRocker
OffRocker
5 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Was happy to surf in the rain in tas, less comfy on the gc what with the runoff from the creeks – more worried about what’s coming from the agricultural runoff than sharks tho…..

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Pauly Matt War-Shore
5 years ago

Any details on the combined litreage of this haul? As we all know, knowing the litres of your board is of paramount importance in this day and age, and should have rightfully been included in this shocking report.

@surfads
@surfads
5 years ago

My New Years resolution is to commit more crimes

ricmatic
ricmatic
5 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

yeah, Ive been slacking too.

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
5 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

String of bank jobs, dodgy masks, some casual/very extreme skydiving and I’m in.

GiGi
GiGi
5 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

Come surf Jersey…. they’ll arrest you on site when u get back to Oz

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
5 years ago

I’m sooo hungover hey xox

OffRocker
OffRocker
5 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

My sister was sposed to meet us for lunch, didn’t see her till 830…pm. Hangover of the decade she reckons….

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
5 years ago
Reply to  OffRocker

Good for her! The first day of the year and I was already hungover.

OffRocker
OffRocker
5 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

I reckon!!!

Ricky Spanish
Ricky Spanish
5 years ago

I guarantee they were mid lengths. So hot right now

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
5 years ago

If u feel the need to commit crime, step ur game up. Do private contractor work for the Gub. Enough money for a quiver, and u get away with m……….

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
5 years ago

Meth is a hell of a drug.

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
5 years ago

Get da boards bruh, surf tha pipeline brah!

Gino
Gino
5 years ago

A large black guy stealing boards from a shop in NH???
When monkeys fly out of my butt.

Follow the Sun 🌞
Follow the Sun 🌞
5 years ago

You have to be REALLY down hard on your luck to steal multiple surfboards. If it were just one, it might be more understandable but not any less reprehensible. Not really sure what the motivation was or what but then again CS makes a pretty good point with “what would you do for love?” However, this one is a little over board!!! (ba dum, tiss!)

mine.mine.mine
mine.mine.mine
5 years ago

its weird, but i can remember the first time I heard about boards getting stolen. it was about 12 years ago. one was taken off the roof of a buddys car. Another was out of a car at a pretty packed point. Think it was the same swell. Before that you left your shit anywhere and no one took your boards. No one that surfed stole in our area, and no one knew the value, or where you could sell them. Today… i guess you can sell them anywhere.

frank
frank
5 years ago

stealing a surfboard?, that’s way bad juju

on the other hand, borrowing one indefinitely from a friend, that’s love

mine.mine.mine
mine.mine.mine
5 years ago
Reply to  frank

he picked the shittiest boards of the bunch from what the word says. like big fat gremlin like things


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