Surf-lit: “God, when did he stop striding and start shuffling? He used to run, sprint down this hill to check the waves. Used to.”

A dying man's last surf.

The old man shuffles down the slight incline.

God, when did he stop striding and start shuffling. He used to run, sprint down this hill to check the waves.

Used to.

Used to drive down a dirt track with a car full of mates, punk tapes blaring the soundtracks from surf videos, timing the hand break yank perfectly to skid to a stop just in front the wooden barriers in the carpark.

Then the mad sprint to be the first to check the waves.

Conditions in the little cove on the way in gave a fair indication of what you were in for, but until you set eyes on the little reef ledge, you could never be totally sure.

Resigned to the slow shuffle of the aged, but the old impulse to run, to sprint, tickles the back of the cortex. A Pavlovian response.

Mentally willing, but physically weak.

So the shuffle nearly increases a little in speed.

Still, a slower pace enables one to notice the details that are often missed with haste. The little circular grove of trees to the right? A generational meeting place for the area’s traditional custodians before whitey starting sniffing into the area chasing red cedar.

The wooden rotunda where he once found a local chef hanging from the beams early one new year’s morning on the way to a surf check.

The way the granite pavers laid so long ago don’t quite match the length of a normal step, making the shuffling even more awkward now.

The narrow track, fringed by coastal bansksias and low grass, opening up to the foreshore headland. The headland of a countless viewings and shit talk, story swaps, and debate on conditions.

He should have got married here, not in the church with the mealy mouthed old priest who couldn’t even remember his name during the ceremony.

His place of worship and devotion.

The sickies pulled from work, arguments and pleading and bartering with the wife to fit in a go-out when he just knew it was on.

Taking the kids diving the ledge when it was flat, showing them the best way to get in and out as their confidence and ability grew to joining him in the line-up too.

Hug the big round rock, and if you come in too wide, don’t try to paddle against the sweep, you have to go out and come around again.

Watch the crevice halfway out to the jump spot as you walk up, it’s covered in water, but it’s there, ready to be fallen in and twist a knee or ankle.

He stands on the edge of the slight cliff face, in line with the edge of coastal heath that never seemed to grow any larger, even after all these years.

This was his line of sight marker for the deepest makable take-off spot, adjusted five metres either way to allow for south or east in the swell direction.

Huge days, onshore days, grovel days, perfect days.

Days spent out there just to learn, to become intimate with the what makes the ledge tick, building the base of understanding that comes to be called local knowledge.

Days all now past.

His days all now past. Wife passed a year prior.

The big C.

The same evil shit now riddling his body. Considering how much time he’d spent in the sun, it was always coming.

He surveys the track down the headland. Dirt and winding, but not that far.

Manageable.

Maybe it’s time for one last go out.

One final session.

Eyes close, a few deep lungfuls of air, for a few moments in his memories he’s fifteen again.

One last look around at his place on earth.

He starts to shuffle down the headland to the jump rock.

One last go out. One final session.

This is the way and the place he wants to go out.

 


Breaking: World Surf League CEO Erik Logan uses Bernie Sanders’ latest viral moment to highlight own barrel savvy!

Very cool.

How good are selfies posted onto social media with the intention of getting praise hidden so poorly under a blanket of awareness-raising, challenge-accepting, meme-propagation as to be art in and of themselves?

I love the Ice Bucket Challenge and its extremely toned, shirtless men and women doing their part for amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, any #TBT carefully selected for hotness though captioned “OMG, guys, don’t know what I was thinking here…”, influencers at protests…

… and World Surf League CEO Erik Logan hopping on to Bernie Sanders’ latest viral moment to, bald-faced, highlight his own barrel riding savvy (above).

You certainly saw Bernie Sanders at the recent inauguration, dressed in a Burton jacket, knitted mittens and face mask. The People couldn’t get enough and he popped up in boats…

…on the moon…

…this guy’s hands…

…and barreled at Surf Ranch courtesy of Logan.

Very cool, funny and topical all at the same time.

A selfie trifecta.


Springsteen (pictured) surfing.
Springsteen (pictured) surfing.

Glory Days: Iconic blue-collar troubadour Bruce Springsteen’s surfboard placed in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame!

Lines expected.

The mainstream media displayed much shock, over the weekend, when it was revealed that iconic blue-collar troubadour Bruce Springsteen’s surfboard was headed up to Cleveland, Ohio to be placed in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Surprise and consternation as highlighted by Microsoft News report:

Surf’s up at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland.

No, we’re not talking about a Beach Boys exhibit. It’s Bruce Springsteen’s surfboard that’s now on display at the Rock Hall, which reopened to the general public on Jan. 17 “with proven health and safety precautions in place to protect staff and guests,” according to a Hall press release.

The Springsteen surfboard is very bizarre and weird though part of other new artifacts, including a Cleveland Cavaliers rock-themed City Edition uniform; outfits worn by Harry Styles, Laura Jane Grace, and Jidenna, Maline Moye’s guitar, and more.

Etc.

What the lamestream media clearly does not know is that Springsteen and his E-Street Band grew up in the surfing paradise of Asbury Park, New Jersey, my favorite town east of the Mississippi, and let’s quickly revisit BeachGrit’s award-winning trip to the Home of the Pork Roll.

Brilliant, no?

And in any case, Springsteen who made his name at The Stone Pony, lived in a surfboard factory with many members of the E-Street Band and was even managed by Challenger Surfboard’s founder-in-chief Carl “Tinker” West.

“We were from Freehold and there wasn’t any surfing there, but it was the surfers who worked at the surfboard factory who got the band into surfing,” Springsteen said of those heady surf years.

Jeff Salmon, of nearby Ocean Township, is making a film of Springsteen’s surfing roots and added, “They’d go surfing pretty much every day of the week. Asbury Park, Long Branch – they’d be at the beach surfing and then go to clubs at night.”

Very cool and we, as a community, should be honored to count The Boss amongst our kind.

Do you have a favorite Springsteen song?

Hungry Heart?

I don’t know how you cannot like Hungry Heart.


“Reckless and disrespectful” Russian influencer finally deported from Bali for driving motorcycle into sea: “Time for you to learn that Indonesian people will unite when a person like you come to our country and disrespect our culture!”

Das vadanya.

A little over one month ago, a Russian influencer caused much consternation in the surfer’s paradise of Bali by driving a motorcycle into the sea as part of an Instagram stunt.

Balinese designer and politician Niluh Djelantik represented the general tone when writing, “You didn’t think of the outcome when you made this video […] Time for you to learn that Indonesian people will unite when a person like you come to our country and disrespect our culture.”

The Russian, for his part, responded, “I bought the bike, not rented. And we got it out of the ocean 30 minutes after it got there, nothing came out of there, it is not broken. We present it to the locals, they are already using it.”

It is unclear if the locals re-submerged the bike in salt water, the counterintuitive proper action, until they were ready to fix it.

In any case, Indonesian authorities immediately began an investigation which has just wrapped and resulted in the deportation of the influencer back to his home country.

Per the news organization baliprawara, “Immigration, finally deporting viral Russians because of dangerous action video by jumping into the sea while riding motorcycle. The deportation was carried out on Sunday afternoon through I Gusti Ngurah Rai Airport.”

The viral Russian expressed his love for Bali, and her people, on the way out the door.

Now, do you think deportation is the right call? Too lenient?

Too severe?

I studied Russian for a year and enjoy the Cyrillic alphabet.

Very cool.


Surfing world champion Gabriel Medina joins rumoured partner Neymar Jnr on world’s biggest-selling video game franchise FIFA2021!

Superstar status confirmed… 

The two-time world surfing champion, Brazil’s Gabriel Medina, is a surprise addition to the 2021 version of football simulation video game FIFA2021, the biggest-selling vid game in the world.

Medina, who is twenty-seven and who became Brazil’s first-ever world surfing champion in 2014, joins good friend, and rumoured partner, the soccer superstar Neymar Jr in the game.

Readers will remember, one week ago, sopping up their morning fat with the news that media houses in Brazil were speculating wildly about the pair’s relationship. 

Various outlets, including Midiario.com and the country’s version of Time, Istoé, said the pair were spending every available minute together and at least one claimed that both are using models to cover their true feelings.

From Midiario:

The famous Brazilian soccer player Neymar returns with a new controversy and what he has put on his Instagram is a series of photos from which he has been very affectionate with another man.

Best friends, Medina, Neymar Jr.

In the show program, “Chisme No Like”, the journalists Javier Ceriani and Elisa Beristain, said that Medina has a romance with the model Jazmín Brunette, something that supposedly would be to cover her sexuality as well as Neymar with Natalia Barulic , Maluma’s ex (his romance was never confirmed).

Communicators say that they have maintained a friendship since childhood, but it is not “normal” to see that of men here.

You’ll find cartoon Medina, meanwhile, in FIFA2021’s volta mode, which was introduced last year, and where soccer is played in the streets.

Eight other celebs made the cut for FIFA2021 including Brazilian singer Anitta; Batien Schweisteiger, former German soccer player; Hide Nakata, a former Japanese football player; Daniel Ricciardo, Australian Formula 1 driver; Lamar Jackson, NFL football player; Sam Kerr, Australian soccer player; DJ Snake, French music producer; and Winnie Harlow, Jamaican and Canadian model.

The name Anitta will ring bells for those with long-ish memories.

Two years ago, surf fans blamed poon and politics for Medina’s poor showing in Europe that year.

Fans blamed three things: Brazil’s right-wing president Jair Bolsonaro, with whom Medina and Neymar had been trading video messages, Neymar himself, and the poon-shaking singer Anitta, famous for her tight miniskirts, sequinned silver halters and precarious heels.

Medina, Neymar Jr with singer Anitta.

From one: “He wants to be hated as Neymar is. He was never very smart and walking with Neymar and Annita and glorifying the myth. In the end the fans will turn against him, as with Neymar, an arrogant and uncultured person.”

What’s your favourite Anitta song?

Mine was always the sassy fem-anthem Paradinha until last year’s duet with Cardi B, Me Gusta, appeared and became an instant classic.