Dana McGregor (left) with Pismo.
Dana McGregor (left) with Pismo.

In whimsical new craze, goats are taken surfing to mend broken nation: “We are just trying to bring hope and healing to people’s hearts through surfing!”

Beautiful.

Our very own Steve “Longtom” Shearer is a goat rancher of some note but has likely never considered the cathartic power of the creatures he maintains as fully as Dan McGregor, who lives on California’s central coast.

There, McGregor has his goat ranch but, unlike Longtom, he teaches his to surf and uses that power to mend an extremely broken nation.

Recently, McGregor and friends took a tour from their hometown of Pismo Beach all the way down to San Clemente with one of their surfing goats named Pismo. Having arrived, a group of at least five grown men paddled Pismo out on a SUPsquatch, spun and paddled the Capra into knee high closeouts.

The event was covered by much media.

“We are just trying to bring hope and healing to people’s hearts through surfing,” McGregor told The Los Angeles Times.

Those who voted for Donald J. Trump and those who voted for Joseph R. Biden could be seen on the beach, watching, feeling a profound sense of closeness.

Back to Longtom, though, I think his goats may be used to heal the now-gaping rift between Lennox Head and the World Surf League. I think WSL CEO Erik “ELo” Logan would enjoy participating and could show off his SUP skills while bringing hope and healing.

Very cool.

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American tourist captured in The Beatles seminal Abbey Road cover unleashes surfing’s greatest invective against legendary band: “Hey, it’s those four kooks!”

Harsh.

Surfing has one great swear word and it is “kook.” Etymologists are generally agreed that the one syllable invective is derived from the Hawaiian word kūkae, meaning “feces” and used, in those early years as today, to refer to surfers with poor ability.

Extremely rude and the very worst thing one surfer can call another. An utterance in the lineup must be met with extreme force, indignation or flipped script.

“No, YOU’RE a kook.”

Very harsh but equally harsh when uttered on land and let us learn the story of American surfer and tourist Paul Cole who used it to deeply shame The Beatles.

One of the greatest photobombs ever was the the man standing on the pavement to the right of the picture of the Abbey Road album cover by The Beatles. He was an American tourist named Paul Cole. Cole was accidentally included in the album cover as he watched the four one by one cross the street while on vacation in London and thought they were just four “kooks.”

Almost a year later, he saw the album by chance when his wife, a church organist, was given the record to play at a wedding. “I saw it resting against her keyboard,” Cole remembered, “and I said, Hey! It’s those four kooks! That’s me in there!”

Despite his realization, the retired salesman has never enjoyed the Beatles. “I’ve never heard Abbey Road,” Cole said. “I’ve seen the Beatles on television and have heard a few of their songs. It’s not my kind of thing. I prefer classical music.”

“Hey, it’s those four kooks.”

Ouch and it is now incumbent on Paul McCartney and/or Ringo Starr, the two remaining Beatles, to find either Cole or one of Cole’s surfing sons and demand retraction.

It will be a hard day’s night until then.

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World Surf League blames government inaction for cancellation of historic 40th anniversary of Bells Beach surfing contest: “We were not provided with the assurance to land the (charter) plane by the Victorian government”

Iconic surf contest shuttered for anniversary of game-changing 1981 event… 

It was gonna be a hell of a Bells contest, at least viewed through the prism of history. 

Forty Easters ago, on the second-last day of the contest, Simon Anderson, who was twenty-seven, famously rode his new six-six, three-finned surfboard, which he’d called a “thruster”, to dominate in clean fifteen-foot waves, the design legitimised further when he won the final in two-to-three-foot runners. 

“There were many skeptics [regarding the Thruster], and some people openly laughed,” Simon told the writer Drew Kampion that year. “All year they were saying that the Thruster wouldn’t work. They said it in Australia, and I proved it there; they said it in Hawaii, and I proved it there, too. It’s a complicated design, and one little thing can throw it off, and it can really turn you off on them if you don’t get hold of a good one.”

Howevs, and as reported earlier, there was little chance Bells was ever gonna run in a state famous for having the world’s strictest lockdown laws.

Entire towers of state government housing shuttered, its residents cowering inside; cops ready to wrestle at the slightest provocation. A pregnant woman, handcuffed in front of her kids and dragged away for planning an anti-lockdown protest on Facebook, despite her offer to delete the post.

Over the course of less than a month, August 4 through September 2, 2020, almost three million dollars in fines were issued.

So, yeah.

“We were not provided with the assurance to land the plane by the Victorian government and we understood and respected that position as we needed an answer right at the time the tennis issue was unfolding in early January so clearly, that was going to be challenging to achieve,” a WSL spokesperson told The Age. “We understood why a decision to land our charter in amongst the tennis issues was not possible but we needed a solution for our sport to stay alive in 2021 and we were very fortunate that NSW was able to provide this to us at extremely short notice.”

The state government said it had bigger fish to fry, frankly.

“Given the stated priority of accommodating returning Australians, we were unable to provide the World Surf League with a guarantee regarding quarantine places for international surfers within the time frame required by them. We continue to work with the World Surf League on plans for the Rip Curl Pro and will have more to say in due course.”

It is estimated the local economy will be stiffed by around eight million bucks.

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Photo: @mastersindo

Tragedy: Iconic surf photographer loses battle with freak neck infection, dies in Perth hospital after courageous fight.

RIP Brad Masters.

Days ago, we learned that surf photographer Brad Masters, made famous for shooting the most-polarizing cover in surf magazine history, was in a Bali hospital after developing a “freak neck infection.” His partner, Trish Kincaid, said Masters first complained of a swollen gland in his jaw and, by December 25, his neck was “scarlet and bigger than his head.”

He then contracted a superbug and was put into a medically induced coma while doctors attempted to beat it back. After an extremely difficult month, the fight was lost early Sunday morning after being medivaced to a Perth hospital.

Masters’ heartbroken family released the following statement:

“It is with great sadness that we share the news of Brads passing in the early hours of this morning Brad tried really hard to stay with us but unfortunately his body was extremely weak to keep fighting. We will take comfort in the beautiful images he created through his photos and his quirky ways.”

He is survived by an 11-year-old son.

Chris Cotê, who edited Transworld Surf magazine and used Masters’ work regularly, said the famed Travel Issue cover is in his top three of all-time best ever.

It is my number one.

Donate to the family here.

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Tracks introduces Spitting the Winkle to readers. Widely regarded as the magazine's finest moment. | Photo: Tracks/Sarge

Iconic magazine returns to surfer roots after forty years of corporate ownership, “Tracks truly defined the Australian surf mag!”

Power to the little people etc.

Tracks magazine has returned to its surfer roots after more than four decades in the paws of various corporate masters.

The magazine’s editor Luke Kennedy along with Peter Strain, David Mulham, Greg Cooper and Damian Martin have bought the title from nextmedia who bought it from Britain’s emap in 2007 who, in turn, bought it from MasonStewart in 1997.

Founded in 1970 in a little beach shack at Whale Beach by Dave Elfick, John Witzig and Alby Falzon, and launched to capture the counter-culture movement then sweeping through surfing, Tracks was a newsprint version of Falzon’s zeitgeist snatching Morning of the Earth.

A little history from Warshaw’s EOS.

Tracks shifted tone in 1974 with the hiring of arch wit Phil Jarratt, one of surfing’s finest and funniest writers. Tracks paid close attention to the rise of professional surfing, and jettisoned much of its nonsurfing editorial platform. Editor Jarratt wrote a kneeboard column titled “Cripple’s Corner,” and Queensland’s soon-to-be world champion Wayne Bartholomew surfed in the nude for a 1976 cover story. A new and hugely popular Tracks feature was Captain Goodvibes, a boorish cartoon surf-pig superhero. Tracks’ circulation by mid-decade was 40,000, larger by far than any previous Australian surf publication. The magazine’s reputation held steady under the editorial stewardship of Paul Holmes, followed by Nick Carroll (both of whom went on to edit American surf magazines). Articles continued in the Jarratt style: smart, funny, and more often than not snide.

As Carroll later put it, Tracks “truly defined the Australian surf mag.”

By the late ’80s, Tracks was being challenged by 1985-founded Australia’s Surfing Life and the 1987- founded Waves, both eager to probe the raunchier limits of sophomoric surf-related humor. The new material caught on; by the time Tracks editor Tim Baker left in 1991 to work for Australia’s Surfing Life, the older magazine was a deflated, if not defeated, power.

The employee buy-out continues a new trend in surf media ownership where surfers get back into the game after decades of surf magazines being the golden eggs of non-surf co’s.

Think, Doherty and Jon Frank, Surfing World; Murdoch, Bainy and co, White Horses.

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